'Can I Announce My Pregnancy At Someone Else's Wedding?'

A family get-together seems like the perfect occasion to announce a pregnancy – but is it ever ok to reveal your happy baby news at a wedding?

A 31-year-old woman, who is expecting her first baby with her 34-year-old boyfriend has found herself in a predicament, with a family wedding just around the corner. While they haven’t yet announced their pregnancy, the mum-to-be says her lack of drinking at the wedding will no doubt give the game away.

“We have not announced that we’re trying for a baby because it will result in our families lecturing us about getting married and having a wedding,” she explained on reddit. “We do not want a wedding and marriage isn’t important to us.

“We have a family wedding to attend this weekend, therefore I took a pregnancy test, just to double check, before a weekend of heavy drinking. Well it was positive and we are so excited. I do not want to announce that I am pregnant until we go to the doctor or after 12 weeks.

“This happened so quickly I am not sure what to do. The bride has been dreaming about her wedding day her whole life and all the attention should be on her. I do not want to take her spotlight. This will be the first grandchild in the family and I assume that everyone will be so excited.”

While it might seem like the expecting mum could just quickly slip under the radar with her tee-totalling, it’s going to be near-impossible, due to her reputation for being the life of the party.

“The problem is that I drink alcohol and get drunk at every family event. My family loves to party and we take shots together, shotgun beer together, and randomly challenge each other to chugging contests. I am fully involved in the festivities and instigate a lot of the drinking. Basically, it will be very noticeable that I am not drinking and refusing shots.

“I am planning on pretending to drink beers by replacing it with water but I don’t think this will actually fool my family.”

“We are staying at the hotel where the reception is taking place, therefore I cannot just say I am the designated driver. My family will notice that I am not drinking this weekend and correctly conclude that I am pregnant.”

So it’s left the mum-to-be in a sticky situation. Does she not attend the wedding? Does she announce the pregnancy at the nuptials?

“I cannot imagine missing my cousin’s wedding but also could never imagine stealing the bride’s spotlight with my pregnancy. I know the bride will be angry if there are rumours about my pregnancy during her wedding. My cousin will be annoyed that I made his new wife angry, but he’s reasonable and would not actually be mad at me. Would I be the a**hole if my pregnancy gets announced or rumoured at my cousin’s wedding or should I just stay home ‘sick’?”

The woman’s boyfriend of 12 years has suggested that the couple call everyone invited to the wedding and announce the pregnancy before the wedding. But she’s not convinced.

“I don’t think making the announcement a few days before her wedding will actually help. In addition, I am uncomfortable with this because I’ve only taken at home pregnancy tests and have not been to the doctor. I do not know how far along I am. Plus, I am more terrified of the possibility of having to announce a miscarriage to the whole family.

“I hope I don’t have a miscarriage but it’s a possibility with any pregnancy and the chance drop significantly after 12 weeks according to the internet.”

What do you think they should do – announce the pregnancy or just try and go under the radar? Let us know in the comments below.

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43 Comments

- - BellaB said
  - 27 May 2024
    6:38 pm
Just tell everyone you’re taking antibiotics and can’t drink. Simple. Because you’re right, never announce a baby at someone else’s wedding!

- - ChiWren said
  - 09 Nov 2023
    8:04 pm
Say you’re on a round of antibiotics and can’t drink. Announcing a pregnancy or engagement at someone else’s wedding is beyond tacky unless the okay is given by the bride and groom.
- mom57569 replied
  
  30 Mar 2024 , 12:42 pm
  The reply saying you are on antibiotics is perfect as everyone knows you are not supposed to drink while taking them. Also it could be a UTI or something else like that and people usually don’t want to go into too much detail about these type of infections. If everything goes well, when you get the doctors response, you can tell everyone at a family dinner. So win win all around
- - Zmijka86 said
  - 07 Dec 2022
    8:24 pm
No not at someone else wedding..that is very rude

- - mom461384 said
  - 13 Oct 2022
    2:03 pm
I really wouldn’t do this at the wedding

- - meedee said
  - 29 Sep 2022
    2:17 pm
To answer your question just ask yourself if you would have been happy for another female to steal your thunder on your wedding day. Dont do it because its something you cant undo if you end up doing something to ruin someones special day.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 26 Aug 2022
    12:01 am
It’s an awful reputation to have, when your family will definitely notice when you aren’t drinking.

- - Jessica said
  - 22 Aug 2022
    8:26 pm
I wouldn’t make a point of announcing it at the wedding and just say you have a liver issue so you have to stop drinking for a month or so

- - tessie said
  - 22 Aug 2022
    1:35 pm
Why not just ring your cousin and tell him that there’s a possibility you might be pregnant. Ask for his or his bride-to-be’s suggestions on how to handle it because you don’t want to take any of the attention away from their special day.

- - mom485263 said
  - 22 Aug 2022
    10:22 am
Its the bride’s day and who cares what fib you say about not drinking all anyone needs to reminder is that its the bridal couples happy day.

- - Ellen said
  - 22 Aug 2022
    4:00 am
No you would place yourself in the center of attention with your news at someone else’s wedding day…that would be rather inappropriate

- - mom101628 said
  - 20 Aug 2022
    11:53 pm
You have plenty of ideas given here, but if it were me I definitely wouldn’t be announcing it at your cousin’s wedding. Dry September sounds good to me.
- mom111059 replied
  
  26 Aug 2022 , 2:54 pm
  Dry September is an excellent idea. No need to take the attention away from the wedding.
- - mom334554 said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    10:01 pm
Fake being sick and deny and rumours. Not hard.

- - alrevedup said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    8:18 pm
This would cause a major family rift. Do not announce it. Stick to your instincts about the 12 week mark. Like other comments have said you can say you have just gotten over gastro, or are on medication. Or you could say you went on a bender that has put you off drinking because you were so sick. Last resort? Say you have symptoms of COVID and are waiting on test results which you hope will come before the wedding so you can attend. Yes it’s a lie but it could save a huge amount of drama

- - mom111059 said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    7:10 pm
No definitely not. Let the wedding couple have their day. You will have plenty of time later.

- - rovermum said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    11:22 am
I do not believe you should announce your news at this wedding. This is a day that has been planned and prepped within an inch of its life for a couple getting married. Do not spoil it for them. Do not take their shine. My shine was taken at my wedding from a sister who came dressed in a way (not appropriate) that made it about her and it is still talked about years later. Do not do that to these people? Make your announcement be about you and your partner at a time when you can shine and it can be all about you. Make something up. A bout of gastro; on antibiotics that you can’t drink with… something!

- - Mad Bean said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    9:30 am
You could say that you are doing a dry month, no alcohol for 30 days.

- - mom103778 said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    9:00 am
Do not announce that you are pregnant. You could say you are feeling under the weather as to why you are not drinking or that you are taking medication and cannot mix it with alcohol.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    8:56 am
Definitely shouldn’t make the announcement. In all honesty everyone should have their attention focused elsewhere. Just say you’re doing a detox and going on a health kick.

- - mom180498 said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    8:30 am
No someone else’s special day is not the time for you to make a huge announcement like being pregnant – you’d be accused (and rightly so) of stealing the brides limelight. It’s her day not yours. Announce it before the wedding or hope that no one notices your change in drinking habits but definitely do not steal her thunder!!

- - Jgracex said
  - 18 Aug 2022
    7:55 am
If you wish to wait until you have been to the drs, had your scan and wait till 12 weeks ect, I would! I would be saying that you are on a health kick or coming up with an excuse like you have developed an intolerance to alcohol and the drs asked you don’t drink alcohol, or something like pretend you are drunk already! Good luck! And congratulations :)))