A family get-together seems like the perfect occasion to announce a pregnancy – but is it ever ok to reveal your happy baby news at a wedding?

A 31-year-old woman, who is expecting her first baby with her 34-year-old boyfriend has found herself in a predicament, with a family wedding just around the corner. While they haven’t yet announced their pregnancy, the mum-to-be says her lack of drinking at the wedding will no doubt give the game away.

“We have not announced that we’re trying for a baby because it will result in our families lecturing us about getting married and having a wedding,” she explained on reddit. “We do not want a wedding and marriage isn’t important to us.

“We have a family wedding to attend this weekend, therefore I took a pregnancy test, just to double check, before a weekend of heavy drinking. Well it was positive and we are so excited. I do not want to announce that I am pregnant until we go to the doctor or after 12 weeks.

“This happened so quickly I am not sure what to do. The bride has been dreaming about her wedding day her whole life and all the attention should be on her. I do not want to take her spotlight. This will be the first grandchild in the family and I assume that everyone will be so excited.”

While it might seem like the expecting mum could just quickly slip under the radar with her tee-totalling, it’s going to be near-impossible, due to her reputation for being the life of the party.

“The problem is that I drink alcohol and get drunk at every family event. My family loves to party and we take shots together, shotgun beer together, and randomly challenge each other to chugging contests. I am fully involved in the festivities and instigate a lot of the drinking. Basically, it will be very noticeable that I am not drinking and refusing shots.

“I am planning on pretending to drink beers by replacing it with water but I don’t think this will actually fool my family.”

“We are staying at the hotel where the reception is taking place, therefore I cannot just say I am the designated driver. My family will notice that I am not drinking this weekend and correctly conclude that I am pregnant.”

So it’s left the mum-to-be in a sticky situation. Does she not attend the wedding? Does she announce the pregnancy at the nuptials?

“I cannot imagine missing my cousin’s wedding but also could never imagine stealing the bride’s spotlight with my pregnancy. I know the bride will be angry if there are rumours about my pregnancy during her wedding. My cousin will be annoyed that I made his new wife angry, but he’s reasonable and would not actually be mad at me. Would I be the a**hole if my pregnancy gets announced or rumoured at my cousin’s wedding or should I just stay home ‘sick’?”

The woman’s boyfriend of 12 years has suggested that the couple call everyone invited to the wedding and announce the pregnancy before the wedding. But she’s not convinced.

“I don’t think making the announcement a few days before her wedding will actually help. In addition, I am uncomfortable with this because I’ve only taken at home pregnancy tests and have not been to the doctor. I do not know how far along I am. Plus, I am more terrified of the possibility of having to announce a miscarriage to the whole family.

“I hope I don’t have a miscarriage but it’s a possibility with any pregnancy and the chance drop significantly after 12 weeks according to the internet.”

What do you think they should do – announce the pregnancy or just try and go under the radar? Let us know in the comments below. 

We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.