July 10, 2019


Mum shares her concerns that women are too often forgotten after the baby is born.

After my boys were born, there were appointments.

To check their latch.
To check their weight.
To check their hearing.
To check the colour of their skin for signs of jaundice.
There were appointments.
There were regular pokes and prods.
Their well-being was front and centre.
I’d say, when it comes to our health-care system, they were well taken care of.

Then there was me.

A first-time mom without a clue.

Engorged, bleeding, and stitched up.
Sent home with some painkillers and stool softeners.
Thrown into motherhood with the expectation my instincts would kick in.
That I would know how to handle colic and late night feedings.
That breastfeeding would come as nature intended.
That my husband would sense my spiral into depression.
That I would know how to live in my new and very foreign body.
That this stomach wouldn’t make me feel hideous.
And my mind wouldn’t make me feel less than they deserved.

No one poked me.
No one prodded.
No one checked my stitches, my healing, or my sanity until eight weeks postpartum.
And even then, it was a pat on the back and I was sent on my way.

Our world forgets about mothers.
We slip through the cracks.
We become background noise.
And in that, we learn our role… our place in our family unit… to always come last.

Folks, we can’t put mothers last.

Our babies need us.
To be healthy.
To know that we are worthy.

To know that Motherhood, while natural, can sometimes feel like the least natural role in our life.
And that deserves attention.

Mothers deserve attention.

We need our world to fuss over us the way they fuss over ten fresh fingers and ten fresh toes.
We need to be seen.
We need to be heard.
We need someone to not only ask if we’re okay but to check time and time again, just to be sure.

We’re not just a uterus.
We’re not just a lifeline to a new and precious soul.
We’re mothers.
And we need someone to make sure we’re ok, too.

The post shared nearly a year ago is still attracting praise and has received 62K shares, 77K reactions and thousands of comments.

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  • Uk has a great system of someone coming around to your home.


  • This!!!
    This should be plastered on every maternity room wall, every doctors office, every baby health clinic and every community noticeboard!!!!


  • Even as someone who works in the field, has all the knowledge and aware of all the resources…. mental health doesn’t discriminate. It can hit at anytime. I know as a society we are so bad at admitting defeat or reaching out for help, showing we are vulnerable. We’re judged and told “it’s not that hard” etc we see everyone else around us “coping”


  • Mental health is something all mums should be checked on, new or old. Mums need to be as happy as possible to be the best they can be, I believe. Healthy physically and mentally.


  • Yep – oh so true and if mum’s aren’t looked after, they can’t look after the new bub either.


  • She is so correct Mum’s are often forgotten


  • No I can’t relate. I had my kids in Northern Ireland and the nurse came around to check both the baby and the mum, which is good.


  • Yep, sadly sounds about right. I was lucky enough to have my Mum who hearing the tremor in my voice got back on that plane and back to hug, see and hear me.


  • We can be forgotten. We have to look after ourselves too, its important.


  • We are forgotten;
    Never by our children….
    Bugger the rest of the world. No one else matters x


  • It can feel a bit like that sometimes. Although I’ve always found I was looked after fairly well


  • More does need to be done for new mothers. Some have their babies and are out of the door. I had more care with my older children then I did with my younger ones and I was an older mum with them. I noticed the revolving door with the young mothers.


  • 100% agree with this


  • I think there needs to be more checking on mums but mums also need to be able to say that they need help or not coping without feeling shame and feeling like the worst mother. We also need to come first in the first year of having a baby.


  • Yeah, hospitals and the health system generally do a poor job for mothers.


  • Definitely should be more checking up on Mums, especially first time Mums, if they aren’t okay neither is baby.


  • With my pregnancy no, luckily I was good cared for in hospital.
    But when I had a curettage, that was kind of sad. My daughter was a little bit more than one year old at the time. After the operation my husband and she were waiting for me in my room. And the nurses kept playing with my daughter and laughing with her, while I was in bed, suffering for having lost my twins. I felt very lonely in those moments. :-(


  • I felt unchecked on too. Both my babies were premmies so they got a lot of attention which I never felt badly about, it was entirely necessary. But I was a first time mum of a premmie and had no idea what was happening etc.


  • I never had anyone ever check my stitches. And I had a pretty nasty tear.

    • Apparently my Mum’s stitches weren’t checked either even though she had to stay in hospital longer than normal. She had a lot of stitches because of a tear that ended at the top of her leg and became infected. I was a premmie and my Mum was unable to breastfeed me. Apparently I was unable to suck properly and drink my bottle so a nurse decided to feed me. Dad told my Mum (and me at a later date) that the nurse must have force fed me as my whole nightie was drenched (soaked) and stiff with milk when he took it home that night and washed it. One of the Nurses advised Mum to ask if she could take me home and demand feed me when I needed it – not time feed – before the other nurse came back on duty. I gained weight a lot quicker that way.


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