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A heartbroken couple are being forced to financially support the child their surrogate decided to keep for herself.

Barbara and David told People magazine they searched for a suitable surrogate for months before deciding on young married woman Jamie, 22, who said she wasn’t ready to start her own family because she and her husband were saving for a house deposit.

Jamie signed the 38-page surrogacy agreement, accepted a $15,000 fee, and on Mother’s Day, she called Barbara with the good news. She was pregnant with a baby conceived using her own egg and David’s sperm.

On Mother’s Day, Jamie called Barbara and left her a message saying, “Barb, I’m pregnant. The test came back. I love you so much. This is great. We’re going to have a great journey.”

But almost immediately after revealing the pregnancy, Barbara says Jamie “started to act off”, becoming secretive and distant. By the time she was three months along, she cut off all contact with Barbara and David completely.

“She came to my area for the ultrasound and when she got there she said she and her husband had separated,” says Barbara. “I asked her why and if it was because of the pregnancy.”

“She said, ‘No, we were having problems long before then,’ ” Barbara remembers. “When we first met them, she said they were a happily married couple. Then all of a sudden she drops that bomb on me.”

When their baby was born in January, 2009, the couple weren’t even informed and when it was time to leave hospital, she went home with Jamie, where she has been for the past seven years.

Barbara and David estimate they have spent $90,000 on legal fees trying to get custody of the child

Now, they have to pay $459 a month in child support (David shares legal custody with Jamie) and are only allowed to spend two weekends a month with their daughter. Despite that court order, they haven’t seen the child since October 2015.

“I’ve had to watch when that baby came into our life and watch her older sister cry when she had to leave,” Barbara says. “I’ve watched this emotionally destroy everyone.”

But Barbara says she refuses to give up hope that their family will be reunited one day.

“There is nothing else I can do,” she says. “I feel extremely sad that there is this life that I feel responsible for – and that I helped bring into this world – that I feel is being destroyed because of the custody and how the courts are handling the situation.”

Such a heart wrenching story. I can not even begin to imagine their pain.

Share your comments below.

Image via People.

  • This is so unfair, thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  • I’m surprised that whatever she signed didn’t stand up in court? wouldn’t she have had to hand the child over? Seeing as it was her own egg, it’s tricky though. It is her child. What a mess, poor family.

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  • Almost everyone seems to be of the opinion that the surrogate mother is completely in the wrong here and Id like to try and see this from a different point of view:
    The surrogate mother didn’t have her own family- surrogates are supposed to have completed their families before having babies for anyone else. An experienced surrogate should’ve been used for this.
    Perhaps she felt a strong connection with the baby and couldn’t bear to part with them once she became attached through being pregnant? I know I personally felt a HUGE attachment to my bub the first time he kicked and it was like nothing I’d ever felt before.
    It doesn’t say if anyone involved was offered counselling before, during or after the pregnancy.
    Something seems missing from the story.
    Whilst I understand that the mother agreed to be a surrogate then backed out of the deal which caused heartbreak and I sympathise with the couple who longed for (and paid for) this baby, I don’t feel there’s enough information to place blame entirely on one party (although surrogate should pay back some or all of the money received for carrying the baby).
    It seems like a big mess and I just hope the child grows up loved and healthy and happy. I also hope this doesn’t happen to anyone else.
    May we all cuddle our babies now and be thankful for them
    Xxx

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  • This is unbelievable. We need strict laws governing surrogacy.

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  • What a very emotional situation… I can’t believe its been let to happen like this.

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  • What an awful story ! Really feel for the couple, may God bless them !!

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  • Oh my God. This is terrible. It’s why there needs to be such strict guidelines and controls on surrogacy. This should never be allowed to happen.

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  • Oh my goodness.I can’t even begin to imagine the pain they must feel. I can’t understand why she isn’t made to comply with the contract

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  • A contract is a contract. Why isn’t it being enforced?

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  • Such a sad stiry – one wonders how it has been allowed to happen like this.

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  • I thought a contract was a legal binding document, so why have the courts done this to the couple, they should have the child. It’s about time that people like the surrogate are made to stick to the contract they sign.

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  • Surely being a surrogacy case they shouldn’t be forced to pay child support. How unfair :-( I can’t even fathom how they must feel. Such a difficult situation. I would never use a surrogate whom was using their own eggs (would be much better to use a donors eggs and the surrogate simply be an incubator)

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  • Even if he didn’t share custody he would still be liable for child support. The system stinks.
    She obviously only did it for the money and still is. I consider this to be fraud. Your husband is probably liable for Child Support until the child is 18 y.o. Are you able to acertain whether Jamie is a good Mother? Does she appear to be given nourishing food and dressed adequately? It may be that she isn’t even using the moey for the child. I know a Mum who had a lot more alcohol in the fridge than she had food. The Dad was paying child support and debts that his ex had run up on bankcard etc. in joint names. She had made sure he never saw the statements. When he found out he took the bankcards away from her and cut them up. Before they separated he was keeping himself back an alowance, mainly for fuel to get to and from work as he had to leave home before public transport started. She had the rest to feed them, pay any bills and the mortgage. He suddenly found out the mortgage wasn’t being paid either, so he had to catch with those payments too. She had the audacity to tell the kids she had no money. It went on booze and cigarettes. The receipts were on the table one day when he took the kids home after his weekend with them. He was actually giving her more money than he had to give her when they separated, and she was getting supporting Mothers Benefit.

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  • The Surrogate mother took the money and signed the contract. I don’t understand how this can happen???? Don’t contracts mean anything????? and now this couple has to pay child support as well?????? RIDICULOUS!

    Reply

  • Ridiculous – why is the court system so pathetic. There was a contract – Argghh, wake up decision making people, you are making wrong decisions and babies are suffering!!!!

    Reply

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