A British man claims he was ‘forced’ into parenthood after a woman he was seeing casually told him she was pregnant…

A man has taken to popular parenting forum Mumsnet to ask if he is being unreasonable to feel ‘forced’ into parenthood. The man says he had been seeing a woman casually for three to four months and believed she was using contraception but was shocked when she announced she was pregnant and expected to resume their relationship.

A Big Shock

The man says he is already the father of a three-year-old girl, who he fought to have 50/50 custody of, but is being constantly chased for child support and told to take responsibility for this new baby. “I felt betrayed, used and tricked into something I never wanted and to that point I was clear about,” he wrote. “I made it clear that I wanted nothing to do with it now or in the future and she decided to go ahead.” The reluctant father says he feels pressure to be involved in his child’s life. “Why should I be responsible for something which I was effectively tricked into and something I then had no control over?” he asked the forum.

It Takes Two

Comments on the dad’s post were critical of his willingness to blame his former partner for the pregnancy. “It is not the child’s fault that its parents were a bit slapdash with contraception and you need to take some responsibility for that,” one forum user wrote. “Nobody has forced you into anything that you weren’t aware could happen.” “Accidents happen,” said another. “Why should we have to bear the full cost and responsibility, just by virtue of our biology?”

This dad didn’t exactly get the support he was looking for! We can only hope that this baby is able to be brought up in a loving environment without this sort of tension.

Do you think this Dad should take responsibility or does he have a point? Share your thoughts in the comments.

  • Not really mate. If you don’t want kids, use contraception! Don’t leave it to someone else!


  • If you want to have intercourse without taking any steps to avoid conception yourself, then it is still your fault – no one made you have intercourse, and no one made you not do something to prevent a child being conceived. So pay up and try to give some love to this poor child you helped conceive.


  • Not knowing the circumstances means noone should judge! Perhaps she did trick him into it?


  • This is tricky and I do know of situations where this has happened. Tread carefully and always take responsibility . If you don’t want to get someone pregnant, use protection.


  • I know of someone that this same sort of thing happened to. He didn’t take it well either.


  • Since it was a casual relationship why wouldn’t he use a condom to protect them both. The first thing he should do is have a DNA test done to prove he is the father. If he is then he definitely needs to step up and take responsibility.


  • Takes two to tango buddy. Hasn’t he heard of condoms. If he was so adamant he didn’t want a baby and she said she was on the pill he should have used condoms just to be sure.

    • Exactly! No one forced him not to use one!

      • Yes poor daddy, he couldn’t do anything about it ;)


  • I’m sure he wasn’t forced into having sex.


  • I know a Mum who had been in an accident (she showed him the scars)and alleged she had been told she definitely could not get pregnant. The guy believed her, didn’t take precautions and she got pregnant. A few months before that she claimed she had ovarian cysts and had supposedly had surgery. When I asked her how many stitches she had her reply was that they sucked the cysts out. I reckon she got pregnant before and had an abortion. Before the guy she married after she told him she was pregnant. They had got engaged about 2 months before she got pregnant. They had 2 girls two years apart. Apparently she later had more pregnancies which she had abortions while they he and another guy were in the country working for their employer a few times. Who knows, maybe they weren’t his anyway. He found out she had been an affair before she left him.


  • He has a point…..she said she was using contraception

    • Maybe she was. It doesn’t say that she pretended she was on it.
      Sometimes it doesn’t work. No contraception is 100%


  • It takes 2 to make a baby, take responsibility.


  • My youngest’s father told me he couldn’t have kids (had a vasectomy but he was ill so I now know he imagined it) and even told everyone it wasn’t his. She came out looking exactly like him. Of course, there was no way it wasn’t his. I have raised her by myself but he doesn’t pay child support, taken from his disability payment fortnightly which is not much at all. I haven’t asked for anything else, except tried for him to be a part of her life which he did on and off for a while. But it’s not worth the heart ache for my child or me.


  • You were not forced into having intercourse with this lady. You chose to do so. Also contraception is not 100% you won’t get her up the duff. You can not say you were forced into parenthood as she decided to keep the baby and you did not want her to. You were “forced” only because she did not take your side and get an abortion.


  • Gosh, that poor woman must feel really supported.


  • This is ridiculous! How could he possibly feel like he has no responsibility here?! How old is this man?! The good old saying goes ‘it takes 2 to tango’ equal responsibility. Full stop! This is a child’s life you are bringing into the world. Step up & take some ownership.


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