A well-known proverb suggests, “It takes a village to raise a child”. So my question is…does it?
They say it takes a village to raise a child. A whole village!
I wish I had a village surrounding me or even one other family member, but we took the leap and emigrated 2 years ago, which means it’s now just us.
How can we become a village, just the two of us? And are we enough for our kids?
I do have a very loving and supportive husband but he works long hours and occasionally 7 days a week. He switches immediately into “Daddy mode” when he is home before the kids go to bed, but that still leaves me with 10-11 hours a day of just me and our two young boys aged 3 and 1 years old.
I also have a very strong bond with family and friends back home so can always pick up the phone and talk things over (bearing in mind the time difference) and have made some great friends “down-under” who save my sanity on a weekly basis.
Yet I can’t help but reminisce about my past and my childhood. I have vivid memories of all those who helped raise me – parents, grandparents, step-parents, a sister, my aunties and amazing friends. All helped shape me to become who I am today. Would I be any less of a person if I hadn’t of had all those influences in my life? I don’t know.
I remember what I have been taught and I am trying to be the village for my kids. I bake cakes and cookies as my nan patiently did with me, I wait on them hand and foot and love them, bath them, teach them and stroke their foreheads when they are ill, like my mother did for me.
I show them the humour in life like my grandad taught me and kiss them a million times each day on behalf of their aunties and uncles and cousins who I know adore them and would love to be right by their side.
I spoil them like I know grandparents would and let them get away with a cheeky ice cream now and then and messy faces. I play fight with them like a dad does and admire their childish spirits like only a mother could.
And then I am a wife. By the time the kids are asleep I’m already in my pjs thinking about sleep.
My husband accepts me and loves me even though my patience has now run out and I may say the odd horrible comment or snap unnecessarily.
The dishes pile high and I suggest they can wait until morning even though I hate waking to a dirty kitchen.
I feel guilty I can’t be more “wifey”, I feel guilty my first born doesn’t get as much attention as he used to. I feel guilty my second born has never had as much attention as the first.
My husband tells me that I’m the children’s world and it makes me stop and think. To all parents trying to be a village, we needn’t.
Why try and be a village when no matter what, we are already more to our children than you could possibly imagine.
We are, right now, their whole entire world.