Hello!

23 Comments

There’s no denying it. At this moment in time, there is a socially acceptable number of children that you can admit to being the parent of without ramifications.

Seven children is most certainly not acceptable!

If you’re a parent of a large family I bet you read that line and felt enraged, then isolated followed by regrettably agreeing… and then you just let the words roll right off your back!

You’ve Got It Good…BIG TIME!

Because as a parent of a large family, you know that the love, happiness and blessings you experience each and every single day have far greater value than the opinion of anyone else!

You’ve got it all!

An abundance of everything that’s good in this world.

Who is anyone to judge?

I am a mother of seven – and believe me, that’s a challenging thing for me to put out there.

Lessens The Blow

Usually when people ask “How many kids do you have”, I like to reply with “I have 3 girls and 4 boys”- by breaking the numbers down it lessens the blow for them.

I’ve learned over time that I have to be able to accommodate people’s judgment so as to not overwhelm them.

And I’m not just talking about online mother’s groups with their keyboard warriors either.

I mean in real life.

Uncomfortable Questions

Not only do I have to make allowances for people’s varied reactions, but I also need to prepare myself for a barrage of unqualified contraception advice, unnecessary questions about religion, whether my children were accidents, who they all belong to biologically, the list goes on…and it’s exasperating!

Imagine having to go through that constantly?

The amount of time it takes away from getting to know one another as people, opposed to my reproductive system and personal belief systems is just such a waste of time.

When I had three children and under I never faced any intrusive questions.

Three Kids Is Acceptable

Three children has to be the limit.

If you have more than three, then you better be prepared to answer some very personal questions!

Why?

Who decided this though?

Who imposed the limit on the number of children a person can have?

And why doesn’t it work the opposite way?

Heaven forbid anyone should try and impose the idea that a childless person needs to hurry up and produce a kid, or the concept that a person with one child should feel obligated to have another as support to their existing little one!

It’s madness!

It’s frustrating!

But you know what? At the end of the day, it’s worth it!

No Regrets!

I would endure the judgment over and over again without any regrets because I feel so tremendously blessed to have what I do.

Ultimately you need to assess who these people are that are passing judgment…

The Mum from Parents Group? The Baker? Some random person you met in a waiting room?

Where are these people when your children get sick? When your bills come in? When it’s dinner time?

Who are they and in what way do they empower you or your family?

And if they don’t have a single positive impact on your life or that of your children, then how valuable could their judgment possibly be?

Power To You!

If you are blessed with any number of little ones to call your own, I congratulate you, more power to you, including everyone who chooses not to have one! And if you are one of the many beautiful souls the world over in desperate need for a child to love, I wish you all the success in the world in being blessed with one!

It’s really only when you can’t have something that you desperately want, that you truly realise how incredibly lucky you have to be in order to even have what you desire most.

I wanted my tribe, before I became a wife, before I became their mother, I wanted them. I knew there was no guarantee that I would ever get to have them, because in life there are no guarantees. But the ‘want’ was there. And to assume they were accidents, or that there are too many of them is a silly assumption to make.

Why can’t you just be happy for me?

If you have everything you need in your life, and I have everything I need in mine, why can’t we just be happy for one another? It’s some people’s dream to have what we do. Because we all dream differently. There isn’t a single dream that’s ‘right’. And just because we aspire for different lives doesn’t make either of us wrong.

I can’t put my children back where they came from. And we don’t necessarily need to see eye to eye to be able to respect one another’s life choices.

Count Your Blessings

Instead of judging a parent by the number of children they have, maybe we could choose to see those children as blessings, because they are – all children are.

At the end of the day isn’t counting blessings a most beautiful part of life?

Perhaps it would be less overwhelming if people stopped counting little ones as merely just ‘children’, and started counting them as ‘blessings’ instead.

Suddenly that negative feeling that you’re left with at the thought of how many kids someone has just changed from “she has way too many kids” to “she has so many blessings!”

It changes the outlook completely and makes it a little easier to accept all those children from a family that you know absolutely nothing about…

Who knows, with an open mind, you may even make a new friend!

Besides, if we aren’t the ones having to break rest or lift a finger to help that large family in any way, who are we to put a limit on their blessings?

Are you part of a large family or know someone who is? Tell us in the comments below.

  • Great read with another perspective to consider

    Reply

  • Nope… My parents have 2 kids and my in laws have 2 kids too.

    Reply

  • I was part of a large family and hated it. But you do what’s right for you.

    Reply

  • Haha I have 3 and Ive been told thats unusual these days!

    Reply

  • Each to their own I say, for me personally 7 is too many as I could never afford to look after that many nor would I have the patience but for those who can good on them! Children are a blessing and it shouldn’t be anyones business but your own how many you have- why does it bother others, how and why does it affect them I don’ get it.

    Reply

  • I could not care less what anyone thinks about the size of my family or any other family. Being responsible for children in a family is key and the health and wellbeing of every member is important.

    Reply

  • We are a large family and find that there is a lot of opinion and assumptions that come our way because of it. People feel that they are entitled to comment or insult or make these assumptions when they really have zero idea about our lives. The worst is the assumption that our children must be neglected due to how many we have or that they are out of control when in fact the opposite is true. We are very family oriented people and our children are blessings.

    Reply

  • Personal choice indeed. I just have one daughter, but not by choice. I would have loved a big family.
    Both my parents came from a family of 8 kids.

    Reply

  • It’s no ones business. Tell them to mind their own business.


    • I agree – I am always puzzled by why people are concerned with others matters.

    Reply

  • My husband and I were happy to stop at one. Initially we had to deal with a lot of people telling us we needed to have a second, and that we were being unfair to our child. We stuck to our guns and the questions and judgement soon stopped.

    Reply

  • It’s no body’s business but your own!

    Reply

  • We’d love to have another baby, buy it just hasn’t happened.

    Reply

  • I’d be scared to have a 3rd because of what people might say. We shouldn’t feel like this

    Reply

  • if you are part of a big family or a small family it is what it is and you really don’t know any different. everyone’s experiences of growing up in a family or how many kids, it their own experience and hard to compare to another persons.

    Reply

  • Nope…. I’ve got just one sibling and just one kid..

    Reply

Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like

Loading…

Looks like this may be blocked by you browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join