Dad tells Humans of New York how having twins made him a much more relaxed parent. “It makes you less concerned about benchmarks.”

The post on Facebook has attracted nearly 6000 comments, over 216,000 reactions and 15,600+ shares

The father of two told HONY “Having twins made me a more relaxed parent. When you watch two kids grow up at the same time, it makes you less concerned about benchmarks.

Each of them had different talents and struggles. He could do all the physical stuff first. We had to put a net on the crib because he was always climbing out. He could swim first. He learned to ride a bike several years earlier than her.

But she was potty trained first. She was reading by the age of three. And she was much better at drawing pictures– her fire trucks always had four wheels, and his were just red scribbles.

If I’d only had one child, I’d probably have been obsessing over these talents and struggles. I think every parent needs to feel like their child is special. But twins made me realize that all children grow differently. And it’s absurd to rank and classify them at such a young age.”

Parents have chimed in with their thoughts on either raising twins or being a twin:

“My dad always said he was so happy that me and my twin brother each had a “built in friend”. I started walking at 9 months and he didn’t walk til 14 months. My parents never compared us though, because we each had opposite things we were good at. Except we were both good at sports…”

“As the mother of two sets of twins (college age — a boy and girl in each set) I would add that my lack of time and energy to dwell on my children’s abilities seems to have helped their development immensely.”

“I’m a twin and all people did was compare us (you’re smarter, she’s prettier etc). Glad to see someone who sees them as the individuals they are.”

“SO true!! My twins have been so different from birth & now at almost 4 are still so different! It just shows how much comes down to genetics and the individual child rather than parenting!!”

“Yes! My twins are 7 months old and we realized this very early on! He is very strong in his motor skills but she is far more curious and notices things far more quickly than he does!”

Share your comments below

Via HONY Facebook

  • Each child is different, twin or not. My 3 were all completely different. If you can not stress about development of twins then it would make the journey easier.


  • My boy/girl twins are my youngest children and they are so different in how they have progressed. My son is quiet likes to be indoors and enjoys his own company. My daughter is head strong always trying to go beyond what she can do. Her older brothers are over she will ask if they are doing anything, she loves mucking around with engines or digging dirt up. This year I had to spilt them up for school as my son hated so many people around but his sister really wanted to go to learn what others do. With my older children they were compared to others, oh 16 months and not walking or talking. Another one was reading and understanding before he started school. Wish I had twins first to know it is alright to grow at different speeds.


  • And all children are different – they will each develop differently and have their own special talents. Just enjoy what wonderful individuals they all are.


  • Interesting that he feels it made him more relaxed – I haven’t heard that before.


  • Definitely less time to sweat the small stuff.


  • Not sure if having these comparisons on hand would make me more relaxed or more stresssed.


  • I know some twins that are super close and other that are not close at all.


  • All kids grow up differently indeed !


  • I reckon I would have been worried especially if one was doing something and the other wasn’t.


  • It is true what was mentioned that being a twin you’ll get a built in friend


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