Big chats needed which can be hard. Everyone has needs and if he can’t provide then something needs to be done.

You both need to sit down and talk. You need to address all your feelings and what you want more from the marriage. He also needs to be open as to when he lacks the intimacy maybe he might have early depression. If you have kids that is taking away time as a couple, find ways to find alone time and try to date each other again and find that love you had when you first met

You felt like you were betraying your husband because you were. You were having an emotional affair and comparing him to exes. How will that not kill his confidence?
Get some personal counselling for your issues and talk to your husband girl!
*A moment of appreciation for coworker doing the honourable thing*

You have a serious problem, but you need to address it with your husband.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 15 Apr 2024 , 5:45 am

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  I agree; problems fester if not addressed.

I think you both need to sit down and talk to him again. Tell him you are unhappy and suggest that maybe he talks to someone.
You need to be happy and in a relationship that makes you happy

I think you need to make a decision. If you’re really unhappy, leave. You can’t stay in a marriage and try to find happiness with someone else.

When I read your story I understand you feel lonely and stuck. Whilst you crave intimacy, your husband who had always problems to perform only started to become more withdrawn and lost his confidence. I can imagine your husband feels insecure with his inability to perform as for many men this is important and him being insecure about this is only understandable. Personally I would focus on other ways to connect with him. I think open communication about both your feelings is important and would help and support with this when you’re stuck in this.

Always deal with the immediate situation and immediate and current relationship before complicating the situation. Seek out supports and engage in open communication and work on achieving outcomes.

I do think you need to communicate more openly with your husband. I understand he no longer ‘turns you on’ so to speak, but somehow I get the impression that he has no idea what you want or how you are feeling. It wouldn’t be fair to just suddenly walk out under those circumstances. If you can talk things through then you might find you have a different outcome than what you are currently experiencing. You don’t mention children, so at least there won’t be any explaining there. As for your new workmate who has been transferred – I feel he has been very honourable in his dealings with you and has done the right thing by everybody until the situation gets sorted out.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 15 Apr 2024 , 7:51 am

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  Yes I agree with you

He sounded mature and respectful that once you indicated you wouldn’t leave him, he ceased to entertain something that could’ve made things worse professionally and personally. He did right by you and himself. If you want to leave, leave, otherwise it may not have a good ending

I think this man did the right thing. You have to sort your marriage before you can even think about starting a new relationship.

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  • • TraceyGail replied
    • 13 Apr 2024 , 6:38 am

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  I’d be pushing for that date with the husband to get this sorted once and for all. As him what he wants to do, lets put this in place now, book the tickets, chooses the venue etc and make it a regular thing.

Really wishing the best here. I replied to the post, but ultimately she’ll know in her heart what to do. Sometimes you need to write your feelings out for the solution to be clear.

Sounds like he doesnt want to make any effort. So sorry you are going thru this. I hope it works out for you.

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult and lonely time. Your feelings of disconnection and sadness are valid, and it’s understandable to crave the spark and attention you’re missing in your marriage. It takes courage to reach out like this, and you deserve support.

Perhaps consider seeking counselling, both individually and as a couple if your husband is open to it. A therapist could help you both explore the roots of your challenges and build healthier ways to communicate about your emotional and physical needs.