An exhausted mum wants to gift herself a week’s holiday away from her family for her birthday, but her partner won’t have a bar of it.
The 32-year-old mum-of-three says she and her 37-year-old partner have been together for 12 years, and have children aged two, four and seven. Her partner works full time, and has one household responsibility – to walk the dogs. She says he works from 8am to 6pm in IT, and often falls asleep at 8pm.
“I am fully responsible for the kids’ care, as well as every household duty, laundry, cooking, cleaning,” she explained. “I am a stay at home mum, but I am also self employed, so after I look after the children all day, I then work for a couple of hours on my laptop.
“My birthday is coming up. I asked my partner what he would think if I booked myself a vacation, for a week, on my birthday and went on my own. If he could use his personal time off to take time off to look after and spend the week with our three children – taking them to school and taking care of the house.
“He told me I was selfish. ‘It’s selfish to want to go on holiday for a week for my birthday?’ He said yes.”
“My partner hasn’t done a load of laundry in the ten years. He cooks dinner ‘occasionally’ (2 x a month). He doesn’t hoover, mop, or mow lawns. I get it, he’s tired and he works full time, but I work too, and I don’t feel appreciated. I just want a week where I don’t have to placate a crying child, or stop the toddler from running into traffic, or worry about everyone else’s good time while sacrificing my own.
“The last time I spent time away from the children/house was when we went out for dinner for his birthday in March (after they were asleep. I organised the babysitter). Oh, and my pap smear, which he tried to make me take the children too even though he was home.
“The holiday would be paid for entirely by me.”
The mum wants to know if she is actually being selfish, or if she’s entitled to a break without the kids.
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