An expecting-mum is desperate to have her mum by her side as she gives birth for the first time – but her partner says it will ‘ruin’ the birth.
The 23-year-old mum-to-be says she and her mum have a very close relationship, and she wants her support as she welcomes her first child into the world.
“I lived just with her until I was 19 and moved out and she moved abroad to Australia,” the expecting mum explained on reddit. “Due to Covid I haven’t seen my mum in years and she’s flying in tomorrow, for a month to support me through the birth and meet her first grandbaby.”
The woman, who is 38-weeks pregnant, is planning a homebirth, and says the fact she wants her mum there has been a point of contention throughout her pregnancy.
“After our last discussion a couple of weeks ago I thought he understood why I wanted my mum there. Tonight we’ve had another argument about it, triggered by the fact that his whole family have Covid at the moment and so won’t be able to come around for a couple of weeks so in his eyes he has no support system whilst I have everyone I want.”
‘I’m worried about how he’ll react to the gore’
She says while the birth will be attended by two qualified midwives, she wants her mum present as a birthing support.
“My main reasons for wanting her there: she’s been through it before and I want a woman’s support who has experienced childbirth (if not my mum I would want my aunt or nan). I want someone there who’s only job is to support me to allow my partner to enjoy the birth of our first baby. My partner and I had only been together a few months when I fell pregnant, and have only just hit a year together.
“Although I love him I don’t know how helpful he will actually be when I’m in pain (I haven’t told him this so as not to hurt his feelings). My mum is also a fully trained midwife and having her there is like a security blanket in case anything goes wrong. My partner does not have much knowledge about childbirth/biology and I’m worried how he will react to the gore.”
The woman says her partner just wants it to be their ‘special moment’, with only him in the room, because he says “he should be enough support for me. He doesn’t want my mum taking his place and pushing him out of the way.
“I suggested that my mum be there through labour but leave during the ‘pushing’ so that it will be just us when baby is actually born but he said it would still ruin it for him. I don’t want him to feel excluded from what will be a very special time for both of us but I also feel like as the one giving birth I have a right to have as much support as I feel I need.”
What do you think this expecting mum should do? Was your mum at the birth of any of your children? Let us know in the comments below.We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.