This is completely unreasonable and selfish of the husband and a depiction of everything that is wrong with the modern method of having separate accounts. The marital assets should all be jointly owned. You are a team and should trust each other. A mother shouldn’t have to worry about expenses while she is on maternity leave. This husband needs a reality check.

Every situation is different. Especially if you are very much expecting him to pay half of everything all the time. He’s expecting that off you too. Would think why should you have savings for ur self later cause you earn more when you didn’t pay for half of everything for 10 months. This is what can happen if you keep separate savings money. You need to talk.

This is so gross. If only we could load all these horrible excuses for husband’s into a rocket and shoot it into space. I really hope this mum found her way out of this relationship and is happy and thriving now. What an insane request to give someone who birthed your child

Your husband is a total tool.
Hit him with a bill for half the child care, etc and also go him for the damage Pregnancy has done to your body. He can pay for half the cost of a tummy tuck, etc
Either that or leave him now because he has proven hes a complete twit and not worth your time.

I agree, it doesn’t sond like a healthy relationship. They’re in this together. When she used to bring in a higher wage, she could actually demand him to pay for the time he brought in less. However she would then behave in the same low way he does, which is not really helpful.

Somehow I cannot see this marriage lasting very long at all. Did he marry for love, or was it for financial gain? If you are the one who normally gets a higher wage than him, then he probably owes you for nights out and holidays as it is obvious his wage isn’t covering any more than the normal bills all households get. Perhaps a very serious talk is required before this goes much further. Other couples pool their resources and in a divorce split the husband usually gets less due to his higher earning capacity. Be careful you don’t have to pay him alimony if you divorce.

It should come as a surprise if you both talked about it before falling pregnant. I agreed with other commenter saying this is financial abuse. I’d just reply to the husband with an “invoice” for the money he owes her for caring for the baby and also house chores. Then say: we are even! While she is back at work, I’ll be looking for a place to move to with the baby, show him divorce papers and “unexpectedly” leave him.

????
Nope. That is financial abuse.
He knew before falling pregnant what the financial situation would be. If he wasn’t able to keep up on the bills then other arrangements needed to be made. Like getting a second job, putting off having another baby until more money was saved etc. I’d be telling him to shove it where the sun don’t shine and asking him to pay for all the things Mum’s wished they received post birth. Like massages, chiropractic, medication. Heck I’d be throwing a boob job invoice in his face.

Leave him

Leave him.

The more I think about this article and the situation this mum finds herself in, the harder it is for me to believe that this is a healthy relationship based on love, companionship, equality and respect. In fact I would doubt very much this husband loves his wife and in it would be very hard for the wife to love her husband the way he sees her the way he behaves. I would have a good think if this is the person you want to be married with

Ok, this is wrong on so many levels, and not at all how a husband should be thinking! You are definitely not being unreasonable at all! You had a very important job in raising your baby and looking after it! I think there needs to be a very big discussion between you and him!

What strange behaviour, especially since you discussed finances before committing to having a baby. To me this is some kind of financial abuse and I would be discussing this further with him and maybe even get some form of counselling. No normal partner would do this. They would support the family while you support the growing infant.

I think your husband must come from lalaland to think you owe him. What the heck was he doing while you were looking after the baby while on maternity leave. If he’s going to be like that work out how much you would be paid if you were a cook, housekeeper, cleaner, babysitter, accountant and anything else you do then give that to him and show how much it would cost and ask for half of that amount.

Wow. This is absolutely disgusting behaviour. For starters, I think married couples all need to remember that once you are married it’s not “your money” and “my money” it’s “our money”. If they were to split up, he would actually owe her money for looking after their child, not the other way around. They both agreed to have a baby, so they are in it together. They support each other and their child however they can. This is totally unfair and what is he going to use the money he is demanding from her for? Is this going into his leisure fund? I don’t even have to think about any of our bills. Both my husband and I work full time and he does all the finances solely. We have a joint account and when I want to buy something, I do it, unless it is a more expensive item and then we discuss it. That’s how families work.

Okay, what?! I really don’t understand this or the logic – like where did all of this come from if they had the conversation?
She should be outlining all of the day to day things she does for him and put some sort of stupid amount next to each line item!
She should just get rid of him and find someone else.

This new mum should put together her own invoice which states how much she charges for having, feeding, and raising this man’s daughter for ten months. It will be more than the cost of utilities. 😀 On a serious note, this woman has the right idea about marriage, her husband does not. They are a family, a unit. They are supposed to work as one unit for the benefit of everyone in that unit.

Wow. Umm.. what!!
How can the husband even ask this of his wife? It was discussed before having the baby. At the end of the day, he has put his request forward, asked the question. So now it’s time for your answer.. No. Request denied.
Just tell him, you’ve thought about it, and no you won’t be partaking in that arrangement. Thanks though.

Similar things happened to friends, and I struggled ot understand – isn’t it a partnership?

You sure married the wrong guy. It very much sounds like he wants to be single but with the perks of being married. I suggest you tell him to grow up and stop being so foolish. This is not how a marriage works but if he wants to see how a divorce works just keep acting this way.

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  • • mom486197 replied
    • 07 Dec 2024 , 8:03 am

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  Your comment has hit the spot, I totally agree with you. This man does need to grow up, what he is suggesting of this mother is outrageous and he has no idea, that or he is just so very selfish. It does sound like this mum has found the wrong man but also these types of things don’t always come out until you are in these situations. I would be walking away from him.