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Naming a new baby is a personal, heartfelt decision that parents spend months labouring over. But this mum-to-be says the decision has been snatched away by her mother-in-law, and her husband.

The 28-year-old woman says she and her husband are expecting their first baby together – a little girl. And her due date is fast approaching. The first-time-mum says she decided to honour her grandmother, by naming her daughter after her – and her husband was on board.

“I spent most of my childhood and teen years with my grandparents,” the mum-to-be explained on reddit. “I was extremely close with my grandmother and was devastated when she passed away in 2016 from lung cancer. We live close to my grandfather and visit him on a daily basis. It means so much to my grandfather that we are naming our daughter ‘Anne’.”

‘You’re going to be naming her after me’

The woman admits that she and her mother-in-law have a frosty relationship, but for the most part, they get along.

“My MIL and I are cordial when we get together. My husband is her only child, and she feels like since I stepped into his life, their relationship changed. He is still very close with her, but he doesn’t visit often because of the pregnancy.

“MIL invited us over for a small dinner party and I thought it was going to be a pleasant evening. When we sat down for dinner, my MIL turns to me and says, ‘Husband and I spoke this past week and he told me that you were going to be changing her name to be after me’. I could feel my anxiety level rising and said, ‘No. We are still planning on keeping her name to be Anne. Right?’ I gave my husband a look and he doesn’t say anything. My MIL makes a face and says, ‘Well, it seems like husband is not on board with her name’.”

Ouch! The upset expecting mum says she finished her dinner and told her husband they were leaving.

“We get into the car and husband tries to apologise. I told him that I was angry with him for not discussing with me and even more upset with MIL. MIL sent me a few text messages regarding my behaviour that evening and hopes I will change my mind.”

The woman is now wondering if she’s the one in the wrong for being upset at her mother-in-law and husband.

What do you think? Does she have a right to be upset? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • Child name is parents choice and no one should interfere with it.

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  • Wow the husband needs to find his voice! How weak!

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  • What a weak husband. What a dominating MIL. Tell her to get lost.

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  • Yes she totally has a right to be upset. The Mother in law got to name her own child; now she needs to butt out and let them name theirs. The husband needs to support his wife on this.

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  • The MIL can carry on as much as she likes. It is up to the woman here to work things out with her husband. He needs to cut the apron strings and put his wife first.

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  • I don’t think you’re in the wrong! Your hubby should have discussed this with you and not with his mother. I think you need to go with what you’d already decided and if hubby isn’t as on board with the name as you thought, then maybe you could give bubs the name as a middle name. Try not to let you MIL to interfer because it won’t stop!

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  • OMG! How rude. She has had her child and was able to name him whatever she liked. You deserve the same respect. And your husband needs to support you. This will be only the beginning of things that she will question when you are a Mum. Brace yourself.

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  • I don’t understand why people feel the need to butt. This is their child – you need to let them decided what they are naming their own baby – they can hear your suggestion, but that’s all it is.

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  • Omg I really feel for this first time mum. (I had a similar drama and lucky my husband was so n my side)
    Why does the MIL have to ruin this special experience for her and then make the DIL out to be the bad person.
    I also feel for her regarding her husband being such mummies boy.
    You’d be questioning your relationship after this.

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  • Oh yes she the mum to be has every right to be upset. Choosing your baby’s name is something done by the parents not anyone else.

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  • Hubby needs to speak up a bit but it’s the parents choice if they don’t want to name the child after the grandparents names they don’t have to at all

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  • What on earthhhh! There’s no way, no way!

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  • Nope, nope, nope, you name your baby the name you want, not what MIL wants.

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  • I really don’t understand the cheek of some people.

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  • Your MIL is quite right about the relationship with her son changing, because that is how life works if she has done her job properly. She is still his mother, she will be a grandmother, but just not in the driving seat. Your husband should have spoken up and supported your reason for naming your baby If he doesn’t find his footing soon the gap between both the adult women in his life is going to be much more difficult to navigate. Anne is a beautiful name and you have a really loving reason for using it.

    Reply

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