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April 6, 2018

22 Comments

It’s so easy to assume, so easy to think we know, but unless you know the situation you can never know the whole story, so you cannot judge.

There was a mother at a play centre, who watched her child like a hawk. Who helped her baby up the slide and saw her child get the confidence to go on his own. She sat down and took a sip of coffee and answered a text.

A lady came over to her and said her kid was crying, and looked at that mother on her phone in disgust, as neglectful and uninterested. Even though it was only for a split second. She didn’t see the whole story.

There was a mother who grows her own food, who feeds her kids all the good stuff, sometimes hidden, sometimes not.. her child eats well and there is never an issue. She took her child to a fast food restaurant as a treat, his first time and ordered the works.

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She was told by a stranger that she was a bad mother, that mothers who feed their kids junk food shouldn’t have children. The stranger didn’t know the whole story.

There was a couple who went away for a week to the Bahamas. It was their belated honeymoon, that they could finally afford as there was a sale on to go a particular week. Their child was left with their grandparents so he could continue school, he was in a special program that helped his development and couldn’t miss a day. For eight years they hadn’t had a date night. Not one. They spent every minute with their child, never leaving his side. They wondered how their marriage survived. They posted a picture of themselves at the beach with the caption “rekindling our love”.

They received a comment saying “how could you travel without your child?! Don’t have kids if you’re too selfish to take them with you”. They didn’t know the whole story.

There was a father who the most patient man, who is always kind and gentle, he’s never laid a hand on his children. Ever. Never even raised his voice. He got laid off from work, after 15 years of service, told he had to go immediately. He took the kids with him to claim welfare, the kids ran around excited and knocked over a pot plant. He turned around and yelled the loudest he’s ever yelled for the kids to stay still.

“Abusive dad on drugs I bet…” said one worker to another, the guy never took a thing in his life, and was a hard working good dad. They didn’t know the story

It’s so easy to assume, so easy to think we know, but unless you know the situation you can never know the whole story, so you cannot judge.

This post originally appeared on Laura Mazza – Mum on the Run Facebook page and has been shared with full permission.

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  • Very true!

    Reply

  • This is so true.
    I think it’s completely normal to have a quick second judge (guilty) but I also then immediately start thinking about all the different scenarios that led to that. I would never say anything to another parent, especially one I don’t know, and I would never abuse or embarrass anyone like the above stories.
    People need to have more compassion and understanding.

    Reply

  • This is so true. People always jump to conclusions and I’m just as guilty. Reading this has made me think twice especially as I recall that people did this with my husband and I.

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  • Very true. I think if everyone minded their own business the world would be a much better place.

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  • Unfortunately, this is what social media has created. It gives people the means to say anything they like without consequence. It gives them the means to be mean.

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  • I agree with you and its no one’s business to comment on how someone else raises their child.

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  • I agree with the lady telling the Mum that her child was crying. Some childrens’ play areas are so noisy that you may not hear your child. However I do know one Mum who ignores her children when she is using her phone to read comments on facebook or play games. If they pester her she tells them she is busy. She wonders why her kids don’t bother to discuss things much. One of them goes and talks to Grandma instead because Mum doesn’t listen to her.

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  • So true. A good eye opening story.

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  • This is so true , a good article.

    Reply

  • I agree there are many times we cannot judge because we don’t know the whole story, but there are also times when there are no excuses for certain actions and behaviours.

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  • This is so accurate. I would never be rude enough to comment on someone else’s parenting but I still catch my thoughts every now and then and remind myself exactly this.


    • Good on you for reflecting and having the self awareness to check your thoughts. It takes empathy and understanding to not judge people harshly.

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  • So very true ! We never know what moves another, their passion, their worries concerns and hurts, their very heart and thoughts. We should always think before we speak, if we speak at all.

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  • Onlookers never know the full story about any situation and actually unless any harm is being done it is none of their business. It is important to not give negative people and judgmental people any air time. If anyone dares to comment to me they get ignored or quickly get told to step back!

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  • You never know what is behind what you are seeing or hearing.

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  • It reminds me of what my mother used to say to me: If you can’t say something nice about and to another person, then keep your mouth shut. You don’t know what they might have been through.
    My mum lived through two world wars and finally died at 99 – she saw a lot and commented on little. I hope I have lived up to her expectations, and have missed her guidance over the last 20 years. Unless you have walked in the shoes of the person you are making a comment about, then do not make the comment – you don’t know what they have been going through.

    Reply

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