Laura Mazza from Mum on the Run gets real about the struggles of anxiety and depression when you have children that need your full attention. There is no hiding from it.
Laura posted on Facebook how hard anxiety and depression can be. She says “but at least when you’re alone and a single person, you can hide it. You can cancel plans. You can lay in your bed and eat your feelings, or hide under the covers. You can sleep the day away until you feel human again.”
Laura continues, “But then when you have children, that’s it. “It’s early morning starts and go. You can’t tell them “no mummy is having a bad day, she needs to lay in bed”. You have to go and be your best version, even if your best version has to be faked. It’s hard and it’s exhausting. It’s wearing a mask that weighs heavy.
I Just Want To Go Back Home
Laura shares that she decided to go for a nice walk to the beach. “I wanted to so badly… but as soon as I left I wanted to go back home.”
“Why is it everywhere I go, I want to just go back home again? Is this anxiety? I went through the motions… people walking into us, people taking my children, people being annoyed by my children. It’s all too much and it’s so much safer at home.”
Laura admits, “I hate crowds. I hate busy situations. I hate anywhere that doesn’t feel safe. I am so bored but as soon as I’m out I want to go home again.”
“It wasn’t till I said all of this out loud that I realised how bad my anxiety was. All of that is anxiety.
It’s hard work.
You have a happy personality but a worried soul all in one body. It’s exhausting. Fighting a war in your head and bubbly sharp butterflies in your stomach.
I said to myself, “just breathe”
You know that it’s irrational. You know that these thoughts flying in your head don’t have merit, but they get into your head. They burn down your throat and fall into a pit like a rock in your stomach, and they crawl out of your skin.
Find five things you can see to ground yourself, 1. The ocean….
The feeling started to get stronger and those thoughts that don’t even sound like they are mine came stronger, pleading me to go home.
‘Everything will go wrong’ they whisper.
Anxiety is living with a voice. Everyday it finds your deepest fears and your deepest insecurities and yells them at you. It yells them so loud it’s all you can hear.
“No, just breath” I said out loud.
I took my toddlers hand and I walked him onto the beach.
I let the water hit our toes and listened to him squeal. My grip got tighter. Anxious thoughts imagined him going out to the sea.
He looked up at me and he smiled.
A smile that was worth fighting for.
I told the voices to shut up. In my head I yelled SHUT UP.
I let go of his hand I stepped forward and I let the water rush up to us. We both laughed.
You didn’t win today anxiety. I will not bow down to you. I lived to fight another day.”
Well said, Laura. You are so on point with this post. We hope by sharing this post we can make at least one person feel like they are not alone.
Can you relate? How do you cope with anxiety?
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