The new mum was devastated to learn of NICU staff’s disapproval of her and her husband…
A distraught mum-of-two has posted on Mumsnet, sharing her anger and hurt after discovering a judgemental note from NICU staff while her premature baby was in their care. The mum found a number of comments in her medical notes after her baby’s birth that criticised her and her husband for being inattentive.
Not Good Enough
The new mum said she couldn’t believe what she found when she requested her baby’s medical notes after they were discharged. “I’m in tears. Requested my baby’s medical notes after a prem birth. Found a part where they started a visiting log as they felt we didn’t stay on the ward long enough, that I wasn’t talkative enough and that my husband rarely visited” she wrote. “I don’t drive and I have an older child with disabilities. My husband works, and at that time was working night shifts. They KNEW this.” The mum said she felt personally attacked. “I feel distraught at the notion that at my most vulnerable, when I was trying my best, I was judged as somehow not good enough,” she told the forum.
A Difficult Time
Parents on the forum who had experienced the stress and trauma of having a child in the NICU were quick to rush to the mum’s defence. “I had an experience of very judgemental NICU staff too,” said one. “They seemed to have very rigid ideas of what normal was and no concept that some families have little extended support.” Others, however, were more critical of the family’s approach. “They want you to be on the ward helping to care for the baby,” one commenter wrote. “They wrote down your visits because they were concerned. Nothing wrong in that.”
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