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“I’m writing this to you out of love, not fear,” states Meghan Maza Oeser in a letter to her husband sharing instructions for watching their kids while she’s away.

*Contains language

I wanted to go over a few things with you before you embark on this weekend alone . . . with the others.”

“Upon arriving home after work, things won’t seem so bad. The others will hug, jump, and for the most part, be pretty excited to see you. This will be short lived . . . I promise.” 

Dinner will suck. Bailey will want pizza, while Harper will ask for hot dogs. Quinn will cry when you say the word hot dog, and will insist on mac n cheese (not the orange kind or the white kind, but the purple kind). We’ll be fresh out of the purple kind, so she’ll ask for toast. You’ll already have started making mac n cheese for Penny, but since she heard Quinn ask for toast, she’ll also want that toast.

You’ll want to sit down and relax after dinner, but I’m warning you against this. It will get quiet…REAL quiet. This is when you’ll realize that the threenager has fallen asleep somewhere. Do NOT let the threenager fall asleep. You’re basically f*cked if this happens.

Bedtime…
Good. Fucking. Luck, buddy.

Pajamas. F*CK pajamas. Don’t even ATTEMPT anything but a nightgown for Penny. And if you cannot find a nightgown for Penny, keep f*cking looking. She’ll ask for her Minnie Mouse nightgown, but once you put it on, she’ll scream in agony because the sleeves are CLEARLY ripping her f*cking arms off. Just find her Elsa one. Chances are, it’s dirty as sh*t, but so what . . .

Quinn, Harper, and Bailey will go down seamlessly. Just wait. As they lie in their beds, they’ll then realize that their tiny mouths are on God damned fire . . . They will come down one by one every god damned five minutes for water. Don’t let ANYONE use Quinn’s pink Elsa cup. If she sees this, she will lose her holy sh*t.

Breakfast. . . . Penny might want cereal, or she’ll go for toast. Whatever you do LET HER PICK HER SPOON. Chances are, Quinn will have the ULTIMATE spoon, and Penny will convince you that you’ve left her with the sh*ttiest spoon in the bunch. Sometimes I’ll give her a fork, and then flip her off.”

Meghan’s post has gone viral. It has been shared nearly 80K times and received over 111K reactions.

Read her full post below.

Can you relate?

Share your comments below.

Image via Facbeook

  • Very funny, thank you for the good chuckle.

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  • ha ha. If this if for real, the kids rule the house, not the parents. Create one meal that they all like. They either eat it or have sandwiches. If you have 10 small kids are you going to cook 10 meals?? Little kids wear what is put on them. Toddlers are given too many choices and soon as they “don’t get their own way” the tantrums start. Imagine what is going to happen when they are required to wear school uniform, comply by school rules etc.

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  • Never had this problem – the kid’s dad knew what to do after the first time – just increased as more children were added. If he were that bad a dad, she wouldn’t be going off on a weekend away, any way.

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  • Oh well, some family do have situations like this, but luckily not around my neighborhood.

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  • Oh this is just fantastic! A hilarious look into reality! :)

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  • I love this and it did make me laugh out loud. Lucky for me, I wouldn’t have to leave a letter like this for my hubby. He knows what he’s in for. I do know many friends though who would be in the same boat as this woman!!

    Reply

  • It has certainly resonated with a lot of people as it has gone viral.


    • Humour always helps people with their roles.

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  • I just love this. I hope her husband is very scared at the situation he will have to face. Bet you anything though, when she gets home he’ll say “I don’t know what you were talking about. They were perfect angels.” He has to restore his manhood somehow. Can’t admit you were right all along and doesn’t know how you keep your sanity.

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  • It is funny to read,l’m sure the husband can cope!

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  • LOL ! Well I sure had to write an instruction sheet for my husband when I left to the hospital with one of the kids. I prepared as much as possible in forehand, knowing he would feel lost ;)

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  • I think it’s hilarious, sounds like something I would have to write to my husband if I ever got a weekend off…I’m sure she doesn’t swear around her kids

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  • Hope the husband knows some of these things already.

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  • I don’t think the swearing is necessary. Other than that I did have a giggle

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  • Personally I don’t like her tone. I don’t find it funny at all. :-(

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  • Don’t see the point. Hubby has been there since the kids arrived, shouldn’t he know what to do? He’s a grown up I’m sure he can cope for 1 or 2 nights

    Reply

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