Mum shares the brutal honest truth about pregnancy, “For me, pregnancy sucked a bag of dicks.”

Jess Bovey, from NZ, who writes the blog New Mum Club, has written about what her pregnancy was like, farts and all.

Jess has one child, Baxter, and is currently pregnant with her second, who is due in April 2017.

She said that what she experienced took her by surprise, because no one had ever told her about some of the side effects.

Jess said, “I would never go as far as saying I hate being pregnant, hate is a strong word. I just have a problem with the way it is portrayed in the media and in the movies.

I wish women would be more open and honest when it comes to pregnancy.

For me, pregnancy sucked a bag of dicks.”

‘The first trimester took me by surprise,’ she wrote. ‘I’m tired, so f***ing tired. I am puffing and out of breath from walking up six stairs.

‘I am so light-headed and dizzy ALL of the time, I often need to just take a moment and sit. My boobs feel like they’ve been injected with quick setting concrete. Don’t even get me started on the excruciating back pain.’

She even talks about skin tags, a lowered immune system, feet swelling, and haemorrhoids.


‘I can’t see my vagina anymore. In fact, I can’t see anything down there and I’m not even sure I want to,’ Ms Bovey wrote. ‘Glow? What glow? Yeah, that’s a combination of sweat and my new found oily skin.’

‘You will have gas…my pregnancy farts are repulsive . You will likely want a tonne of sex or none at all. The bump doesn’t disappear as soon as baby is out. I wish.’

‘Bladder control, what bladder control?’ she said. ‘I have to cross my legs when I sneeze these days after just 1 baby. Kegels smeagals.’

‘Shaving my legs? Ha, I don’t think so. Everybody down there becomes a scene from Where the Wild Things Are from 30 weeks.’

“For me, I lost complete control of my body, this little human had completely taken it over and sucked every last little bit of nutrients I had.”

Read the full blog here.

Did you have a similar experience?

Share your comments below.

Image via New Mum Club

  • I had horrid pregnancies with both my girls, extreme morning sickness, heartburn, horrid stretchmarks, I would do the labor over the 9 months any day!


  • Im only 8 weeks in and I can relate to most of this.


  • Becuase the lady had irregular cycles she found out she was pregnant when she fainted at work. She had also had surgery which should have stopped her from getting pregnant. Imagine the shock when she and her husband found out.


  • Well, I had some problems, but I still enjoyed being pregnant.


  • That is funny and honest. Good on her!


  • I actually loved being pregnant and, beside some swollen feet during the last month, I didn’t experience anything negative.


  • Am I less real for loving it? The truth is I no longer experienced migraines, I lost weight from my boosted metabolism and I hardly ever had to shave because my body hair pretty much stopped growing! I had pelvic instability and SPD so I could hardly walk towards the end so it wasn’t all great. My baby belly did disappear straight away but don’t hate me, it came back at four weeks when I stupidly did a hard days work on the farm and my muscles had a meltdown.

    Her symptoms were real but insignificant compared to those who suffer pain from chronic conditions no one cares about.


  • I disliked being pregnant. It certainly isn’t all rainbows and sunshine that people told me it would be. Its painful, uncomfortable and gross.


  • Just another who thinks that whinging about everything makes her “real”


  • At least she is telling her side of the story and being real!


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