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Constance Hall explains why we need to stop the motherhood pressure, before it’s too late!

Constance explains on Facebook after having her first child she recalls asking her dad how on earth her nanna did it with 11?

Her dad responded that her nanna wasn’t given half the pressures mum’s are today.

Con admits that her nan “didn’t have to go to the bank, the supermarket everyday, she wasn’t expected to look a million bucks straight after birth and she never put pressure on her kids to have reached all of their miles stones by the age of 3 weeks, have the house clean and own a thermomix. She just hung out with her kids and enjoyed them.”

Con asks, “So how do we do it, with all of the pressure we are put under?”

She continues, “Well a lot of us don’t actually enjoy our kids, we are only half present for them all of the time due to the constant pressure to have everything perfect. Meanwhile we are losing the time to be present the with our children, half listening to them, preoccupied, nodding along while our brains are thinking “f#$k now Video Easy is taking legal action on that $12 fine.”

Constance shares what shocked her into reality was something that happened at a seminar she attended yesterday hosted by Rafiki Mwema, lead by therapist Anne Marie. The guests of the seminar were encouraged to participate in an experiment.

They were told to partner up with someone and tell a story, half way through the story the partners were ordered to stop listening. They looked away, yawned, preoccupied their minds, replied to an email, all while the story teller continued.

“And guess how it made me feel?”, shares Constance. “Boring, embarrassed for not being able to interest anyone, unworthy and insignificant.”

“Is that what this busy life is making my kids feel?”

Con concludes, “Today I woke up with a desire to take a deep breath and let it all go, I don’t really care about the new blinds I had ordered or making the house decent so that my mates don’t think I’ve lost the plot.

But I really care about my time with my kids and how they feel about themselves.

And I’m not going to let outside pressures and “Super mum” ideals take that away from me.”

Adding in the comments, “The reason I wrote this is because it made me feel guilty, we all do it. Don’t be hard on yourself- blame society for expecting too much from us!!!”

Do you feel constant pressure as a parent?

Share your comments below.

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  • yeah just make time for your kids because time goes by so quickly. i feel like i blink and they get older :)

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  • I can’t believe that anyone gives this mum any credence whatsoever.

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  • I agree, there is so much pressure on mum’s to be good at everything and do it all. When all I really want is to raise happy, healthy and well rounded kids. I don’t want to focus on all the other stuff.

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  • Trouble is it is hard to make those changes.

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  • Life can be pretty busy and I sure have weeks that I feel under pressure when I’ve lots of appointments going on.

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  • I agree – being present is the best gift you can give to your family and friends.

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  • My Dad got paid once a fortnight. Mum shopped once a fortnight,(including any clothes needed) paid all the bills, banked some of the surplus cash. They had one car for the first 16 years of the married lives. One thing she did that the previous generations didn’t do was take the kids to play sports
    I shop once a week, use my debit card to pay for groceries and withdraw cash in the supermarket for other things I need and any unforseen expenses, pay my accounts by direct debit.
    If you live on a farm you don’t shop every day if you can possibly avoid it.
    Go back 3 or 4 generations when most things were done by hand, you didn’t have a car unless you had a lot of money, you went everywhere by horse and cart, most bought material/wool and made all their clothes. In some cases they knitted their socks too. During WW11 there was rationing : sugar, flour, butter, tobacco, petrol, clothing/material. You had to save them to be able to buy or make things such as wedding dresses. They had ration coupons which they had to hand over when they paid for them.

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  • While there is a lot of pressure on mums, I sometimes feel it’s unfair to compare two totally different lifestyles.


    • I agree with your comment – times and lifestyles are quite different and the pace of life has increased.

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  • Good on her! Telling like it is!

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  • As always Constance says it how it is – and that is something that resonates with me so much that it makes me cry – I have been neglectful of my children because I have all these pressures in life, some put on by me, my husband, family, friends, strangers – and it gets all too much and we crash and burn and have to rebuild ourselves.

    I admire Constance for not only putting herself out there in the public eye to be judged (good or bad) – but for saying F! it – I’m not going to conform to what the pressures say I should be/do, I am just going to be me for my kids and family.

    Looking forward to waking up tomorrow and trying on a new perspective on life – Thanks Constance x

    Reply

  • I saw this on Facebook this morning and loved it. The pressure is overwhelming as mums sometimes!

    Reply

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