Those beautiful, but somewhat crazy days after giving birth are so much easier when you have a supportive partner who says and does all of the right things.

As new mums, we’re exhausted, sore, mentally drained and have physical demands being made of us all day and night. But our partners can often feel like they’re not able to help ease our load. So one mum has shared her list of all things she believes a partner should do in the postpartum phase.

So, if you’re giving birth any time soon – or you’re a dad-to-be – take note!

 ‘Everything I think men should do in the postpartum phase’

Content creator and mum Melissa Messer shared her list with her 40,000 followers, and has gained a groundswell of support. So let’s take a look at her suggestions at what men can do to help out after their partner gives birth.

@melissmesser Clearly i feel strongly about the water bottle LMAO #greenscreen #momsoftiktok #POSTPARTUM #postpartumrecovery #postpartumjourney #pregnancytiktok #pregnancy #postpartumlife #postpartumsupport #postpartumbody #postpartum ♬ original sound – Melissa

1. Water bottle always filled with ice water

Melissa says: “Okay, first and arguably most important is that water bottles should always be filled with ice water. Like, don’t even let it get to the point where she has to ask. Just have that thing ready.”

2. Peri bottle filled, healing centre (pads, disposable undies) stocked.

“Another thing that should be filled without them having to think about is their peri bottle that they’re using to heal,”

3. Wake up in the middle of the night for support

“I know, at night, it’s like, ‘What can I do? Like I can’t feed the baby if like she’s breastfeeding.’ Wake up in the middle of the night for moral support, you know?”

4. Tell you you’re a good mum three times a day

“Tell her she’s a good mum, at least three times a day minimum. It can feel lonely to be up in the middle of the night with just the baby … just make sure you give her a pat on the back.”

5. Laundry

6. Housework

“Laundry and housework … especially this is your first child, you should be keeping up with this a lot … Also changing diapers, making sure you take the baby so that she can shower and nap whenever she wants and stuff like that. That’s kind of like a given,”

Melissa also has some handy suggestions for those who aren’t first-time-dads.

If you have multiple kids:

1. Do everything with other kids

2. Checking in and asking if mum needs anything

3. Water bottle filled

4. Try to keep up with the housework

She says, “You should be doing everything with the other kids. Checking in and asking if mum needs anything, even though you’re with the other kids the whole time.

“When you have like multiple kids and there’s a newborn and stuff, obviously like the house might just be messy, but like don’t make it to the point where it’s just completely overwhelming. Just be a little extra nice … Go to the store, get her a special treat, you know?”

We love these ideas! Do you have any other suggestions? Let us know in the comments below. 

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