I’m sorry to hear that you have to put up with this.
I’d try and get your other half to set some firm boundaries with his mum and if she crosses the line then in the future, don’t tell her things, don’t send her photos etc.

We had to have a talk with our MIL about not posting photos of our children, and not posting any personal information about them. I also am concerned that she may do this via messenger/in private groups, however there is only so much we can control.

For now, she respects this for the most part, however does sometimes post photos when they’ve been taken at family events etc. My concern is that her privacy settings are low, and she has added people to her page she does not know in person.

Having an honest conversation is a good starting place, and if she is still not abiding by your wishes then I’d definitely be limiting information you give her!

I really sorry for yuou dear, even when i read this i feel so angry. Your MIL just so over the top. She have no boundaries whatsoever. It happened so many times so I guess, Lesson learned? Do not share it to her at all is the best option. Or maybe, not to anyone, if you can.

I think so many people are just completely unaware of social media etiquette. It’s never okay to post something that is someone else’s news or announcement. Others just like to be the important one with all of the news & gossip. I would absolutely be thinking of doing the same thing, writer is not in the wrong.

You have to set boundaries, my mum wanted to post our baby news in the local news paper – I said no, its not everyones business that we have had a child. You can tell your friends and others when they ask, but not make a public announcement. Set limits and if she goes outside those, then she wont be getting the news until youre sharing it with everyone yourself online.

Your in the right. She is in the wrong. Its your child, you set the boundaries.
Hubby needs to tell her it comes from both of you and she has to abide by your wishes if she wants a long term relationship with you all.
Nobody in my family told anyone i was expect but the receptionist at the doctors decided to tell her son who then told all my friends about it before I had the chance to say anything. My partner and i where devastated that everyone at my church knew before i wanted to tell them.
Being a grandparent is wonderful but she is messing it up all on her own.

I just wouldn’t tell her anything until after you had made it public your way. She just might have to find out through social media rather than have her post before you do.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 03 Jul 2023 , 4:48 am

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  She has broken your trust and shows she can’t deal with too much information… the most logical consequence would be to give her less information

I wouldn’t share anything with her until AFTER you’ve made your own announcements. She doesn’t seem to understand.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 01 Jul 2023 , 6:25 am

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  Yes I would certainly keep things to yourself.

I’m with you on this one. We made it very clear with both of our children that family were not to post anything on social media unless we had first. I would 100% act and feel the same as you.

This would annoy me so much!! This is why we like to keep things to ourselves. I didn’t tell anyone when I went into labour with my first child.

Any news shared should come from the person who it is happening too. No one has the right to take that privilege away from anyone.

Yes, I totally understand why you are careful to share ! It’s your news to share, not your MIL’s

I think someone has forgotten who’s news it is to share.

Fair enough. I also don’t like to share things on social media.

Definitely not an A-hole… Honestly, you did the right thing. My MIL has an issue where she can’t keep her mouth shut, tells the world everything and worse, sometimes tells the announcements wrong and paints a bad picture for us to clean up. Especially both pregnancies, my MIL caused so much grief cause she didn’t care about how I felt or what I wanted to be shared.
Even my fiancé clashed with my mum over her over bearing & not waiting to tell everyone news. So its both Mother’s we have issues dealing with.
Unfortunately, sometimes you have to be blunt and cruel for them to realise that then not taking in how you feel and your wants. Yes, they are excited to be a grandparent but still have no right to share news or info without your consent or let you do the honours.
Hopefully after you giving her the ultimatum, she respects & listens to you cause its your joy, your precious moment to share… Not hers.

I get that she is very excited to become a Grandmother and not thinking straight but she’s in the wrong for sending posts out before you get the chance. Ask her how she would feel if you shared things on Social Media about her without her consent. Hopefully that will get through to her and she stops sharing your news. Congratulations though

Honestly she’s probably just super excited and that’s really sweet but I can understand it would be frustrating. Hopefully now you’ve explained she will do the right thing……

I would very much dislike this and would probably do the same if my husband doesn’t object as well

Boundaries!!! Social media wasn’t around when I was pregnant but having tried for 4 years through IVF, my FIL told family members and basically said I had told my family so he was allowed to tell his family. He’s a pig of an abusive man anyway and I was devastated that my hubby and I had not been allowed to tell people the way we had wanted. At that moment, I told my hubby to keep him away from me. This man had ruined every major event in our life with violence and threatening behaviour, there was no way I was going to let him impact my ability to deliver a healthy baby. We are now estranged from my InLaws who have constantly used my son as a pawn in their vicious games. So boundaries would be a good idea for this mum-to-be right now.

I think because the internet and social media weren’t around when the elderly were younger they tend to overshare, or not share anything. Probably won’t matter if you tell her when bubs is born – she will find out at some point, and post away.