A mum-to-be says she’s considering hiding the birth of her son from her mother-in-law, after the excited grandmother shared personal baby news on social media before the expecting parents.

The 30-year-old expecting mum says she and her 29-year-old fiancé have been trying to conceive for six years, and are finally pregnant. Happy news, right?! But it’s been overshadowed by an over-sharing mother-in-law who is taking the shine off their baby news.

“I’ve noticed that my MIL is a little finger friendly and posts a lot on her social media pages,” the mum-to-be explained.

“The first happened when we actually made the pregnancy announcement to our family and close friends, we announced pretty early because we were so excited, and I found out my MIL had made a post about being a nan again and how excited she is – me and my fiancé hadn’t even been able to make the announcement ourselves yet as we wanted to wait till our 12 week scan before posting anything.

“I didn’t say much because she was probably just very excited, and I focused on working on being as healthy as I can for the baby. The second happened at our gender reveal, we had been planning for weeks, and found out the gender of our baby, it was such a pleasant day and a lot of crying. Lots of pictures were taken, and it was just close friends and family.

“The day came to a sudden stop when I had a notification that I had been tagged in a post from MIL letting everyone know the gender of our baby, I have to admit this angered me, I was hoping that me and my fiancé could make that announcement ourselves first, but it wasn’t even the end of the day and I was receiving congrats message from random people.

“I expressed my concern to my fiancé, and he said he’d talk to her. We’re now 30 weeks into the pregnancy and decided to get a 4D scan to see our precious baby, and sent the photos to close family before we put any posts up, and she again made the post before me or my fiancé could.”

The couple decided to sit down and let her know that what she’s doing is robbing them of special announcements that they wanted to make.

“This is our first baby and its those moments we can never have returned too us.”

The situations prompted the expecting mum to threaten that she would withhold information about her baby’s birth.

“I have made a warning that if this continues where announcements are being made before we have made them, then I will not tell her when her grandchild arrives, and that she can find out through social media.

“She’s now become very upset and said that we are overreacting, am I the a**hole in this situation?”

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  • We had to have a talk with our MIL about not posting photos of our children, and not posting any personal information about them. I also am concerned that she may do this via messenger/in private groups, however there is only so much we can control.

    For now, she respects this for the most part, however does sometimes post photos when they’ve been taken at family events etc. My concern is that her privacy settings are low, and she has added people to her page she does not know in person.

    Having an honest conversation is a good starting place, and if she is still not abiding by your wishes then I’d definitely be limiting information you give her!


  • I really sorry for yuou dear, even when i read this i feel so angry. Your MIL just so over the top. She have no boundaries whatsoever. It happened so many times so I guess, Lesson learned? Do not share it to her at all is the best option. Or maybe, not to anyone, if you can.


  • I think so many people are just completely unaware of social media etiquette. It’s never okay to post something that is someone else’s news or announcement. Others just like to be the important one with all of the news & gossip. I would absolutely be thinking of doing the same thing, writer is not in the wrong.


  • You have to set boundaries, my mum wanted to post our baby news in the local news paper – I said no, its not everyones business that we have had a child. You can tell your friends and others when they ask, but not make a public announcement. Set limits and if she goes outside those, then she wont be getting the news until youre sharing it with everyone yourself online.


  • Your in the right. She is in the wrong. Its your child, you set the boundaries.
    Hubby needs to tell her it comes from both of you and she has to abide by your wishes if she wants a long term relationship with you all.
    Nobody in my family told anyone i was expect but the receptionist at the doctors decided to tell her son who then told all my friends about it before I had the chance to say anything. My partner and i where devastated that everyone at my church knew before i wanted to tell them.
    Being a grandparent is wonderful but she is messing it up all on her own.


  • I just wouldn’t tell her anything until after you had made it public your way. She just might have to find out through social media rather than have her post before you do.

    • She has broken your trust and shows she can’t deal with too much information… the most logical consequence would be to give her less information


  • I wouldn’t share anything with her until AFTER you’ve made your own announcements. She doesn’t seem to understand.

    • Yes I would certainly keep things to yourself.


  • I’m with you on this one. We made it very clear with both of our children that family were not to post anything on social media unless we had first. I would 100% act and feel the same as you.


  • This would annoy me so much!! This is why we like to keep things to ourselves. I didn’t tell anyone when I went into labour with my first child.


  • Any news shared should come from the person who it is happening too. No one has the right to take that privilege away from anyone.


  • Yes, I totally understand why you are careful to share ! It’s your news to share, not your MIL’s


  • I think someone has forgotten who’s news it is to share.


  • Fair enough. I also don’t like to share things on social media.


  • Definitely not an A-hole… Honestly, you did the right thing. My MIL has an issue where she can’t keep her mouth shut, tells the world everything and worse, sometimes tells the announcements wrong and paints a bad picture for us to clean up. Especially both pregnancies, my MIL caused so much grief cause she didn’t care about how I felt or what I wanted to be shared.
    Even my fiancé clashed with my mum over her over bearing & not waiting to tell everyone news. So its both Mother’s we have issues dealing with.
    Unfortunately, sometimes you have to be blunt and cruel for them to realise that then not taking in how you feel and your wants. Yes, they are excited to be a grandparent but still have no right to share news or info without your consent or let you do the honours.
    Hopefully after you giving her the ultimatum, she respects & listens to you cause its your joy, your precious moment to share… Not hers.


  • I get that she is very excited to become a Grandmother and not thinking straight but she’s in the wrong for sending posts out before you get the chance. Ask her how she would feel if you shared things on Social Media about her without her consent. Hopefully that will get through to her and she stops sharing your news. Congratulations though


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