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A new mother has revealed the heartbreak that comes with breastfeeding.

US-based mother Heyona, as she is known on Instagram, wrote an emotional post a week after giving birth to her son, Bo Namu Cho Liengaard, who was born on 26th October.

‘The feeling you get when your newborn cries for milk is hard to describe,’ she wrote,

‘The heartbreak you feel when your newborn cries and you don’t have milk is even harder to describe.’

Heyona said she was never told about the challenges of breastfeeding, and it must be an ‘unspoken reality’ for many new mothers.

‘When the night hits, I have to make a choice to supplement with formula or let him sleep hungry,’ she wrote.

‘Or more like wake up every hour, stress and fuss to calm his hungry cries, fight with my loving partner, and feel like a failure – shame.’

Heyona said whatever choice she made ‘nobody wins’.

‘Will my milk ever come in? Am I doing something wrong?’ she questioned.

In her post she reached out to other mothers, saying they should not feel guilt or shame going forward with their journey in to motherhood.

‘Some things we just cannot control, and so, we will make the best choices that we know how and we will have done it all with love in our hearts so full that it cries out from our eyes,’ she wrote.

Her caption reads:

The feeling you get when your newborn cries for milk is hard to describe.

The heartbreak you feel when your newborn cries and you don’t have milk is even harder to describe.

Nevermind that the nipples are cracked and sore, baby’s cries sound like ringing alarms INside the brain and I’m desperate to do anything to alleviate his discomforts and meet his needs.

When the night hits, I have to make a choice to supplement with formula or let him sleep hungry. Or more like wake up every hour, stress and fuss to calm his hungry cries, fight with my loving partner, and feel like a failure–shame. And still, which ever choice we make, nobody wins–shame.

What the hell is in formula? Why does this stuff smell like rubber? Will my milk ever come in? Am I doing something wrong? Nobody ever told me.

Nobody ever told me about the challenges of breastfeeding. This must be an unspoken reality for SO many new moms. I speak to myself and whoever may be struggling to feed their newborn. Feel no guilt or shame as you continue into your journey of motherhood.

Some things we just cannot control, and so, we will make the best choices that we know how and we will have done it all with love in our hearts SO full that it cries out from our eyes. I love you. Bo.

Ps. God is good and community is even better. Because milkmaids are a thing and I have sisters. Sisters with babies who love me and love my baby!! Community community community community. Sisterhood sisterhood sisterhood sisterhood. Mothers before me before her before her before her.

Pps. Milk increases everyday and we have to supplement less and less each night.”

These stories of feeling unsupported break my heart, especially following the news last week of the mum who malnourished her five-month-old, rather than feed him formula, fearing it would be unhealthy for the baby and made her a failure. Plus with US hospitals banning the supply of formula marketing materials and free samples to new mums. I fear we may see so many more mums struggling the unknown. We need so much more education and support.

Did you struggle to feed your newborn?

Share your comments below.

Image via Instagram

  • I find it really appalling that with the amount of services we have avaliable today that the healthcare industry still has a very archaic stance in terms of legislation regarding advertisement of formula. For example I know for a fact that there are strict guidelines for places that sell formula so that they cannot be seen to be “promoting” formula based feeding through sales on formula etc.

    Reply

  • Aw, sorry to hear you’re struggling !! Hope you get plenty of support and help. Did you seek help from a lactation consultant ? Bless you on this journey and no matter what happens be sweet to yourself !

    Reply

  • There are breastfeeding support groups – perhaps hospitals should make this more common knowledge.

    Reply

  • I was one of the lucky ones who never had any problems. Feel so sad for you, but hopefully things are starting to turn around and get right for you now.

    Reply

  • I know one Mum who couldn’t successfully breastfeed any of her babies. She had plenty of what they thought was good milk but it had no nourishment in it. All her babies get hungry long before you would anticipate the next feed. Her baby would be crying for another feed at about 1 1/2 hour. Her milk was tested and it was basically like white water

    Reply

  • That would be difficult. I couldn’t breast feed my first daughter as she couldn’t latch on properly and I developed mastitis. My second daughter latched on properly and I breast her for nearly two years. In the end though you have to do what’s best for your newborn!

    Reply

  • I filled sad about that , because,It really is difficult when you can’t feed your baby.

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  • It really is difficult when you can’t feed your baby. The helplessness is really hard and that’s why we all need to support new mothers with all facets of motherhood.

    Reply

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