Unhealthy comparison is evident in everyone’s lives at some point. Whether we are talking about young siblings competing for mum and dads’ attention, or adult sisters bickering over who raises their children the ‘right way’.

Competitiveness is human nature.

Comparing yourself to others, however, signifies a sense of inadequacy. And I’m here to remind you that nothing COMPARES to you. You are NOT inadequate in any sense. You are unique. So incredibly unique and created for a purpose – that NO-ONE else can fill. This is what we should model to our children.

Sure we have strengths and weaknesses, but overall, we are great in our own unique way. There’s no need to try and be the best at everything – because that would measure as perfection and NOBODY is perfect.

We have two kids, and I sometimes struggle not to compare them and assess their behaviour against the other- or even against other peoples kids! but I realise –this is not a competition. These little people don’t need the pressure of being like someone else or meeting another standard.

A certain level of competitiveness is good. You need it. When children enter a spelling contest they study harder and learn more because they’re going to compete. They know their academic prowess is about to be challenged and they get ready for it because we like to win.

But when your competitiveness makes you feel ‘less than’, or ‘better than’ another person, it’s gone too far.

Our Ego comes into play and this alone can destroy you. How do we explain to children that they are uniquely and wonderfully made for a specific reason and it doesn’t compare to anyone they know? We are to love them unconditionally and emphasise their strengths. We are to let them know that “nothing COMPARES to you!”

I believe that to evaluate your overall success accurately you must first understand your God-given purpose.

What are you in this world for?

When you play on a team your position determines your purpose. Attackers and defenders have different skills, but to win, the team needs both. The defender who keeps the opposing team from scoring is just as valuable as the attacker who scores. One may get more applause than the other, but victory belongs to them all.

When you keep comparing yourself with others you’re denied a sense of accomplishment, because you’ve made the benchmark to be like somebody else.

No, they are playing a different position. They have a different purpose. They have a different skill set designed to fulfil the role given to them. God gives you everything you need for the position you play and the purpose you have in this game of life. What a liberating truth! And our creator, who gave others the ability to excel at what they do, will do the same for you when you learn to focus on Him, not them.

If you’re focusing your energy on the achievements of others you risk manifesting jealousy and quarrelling. When you understand your God-given purpose you are freed from the need to measure yourself by the runner in the next lane, or someone playing a different position on the team. Your sense of inadequacy will be healed and you’ll be able to enjoy and complement others.

You’ll also be able to help liberate your children from sibling rivalry and show them that success is not about being like somebody else, but about being the best you can be, and God made you to be.

Remember, nothing COMPARES to you. So just concentrate on being YOU!

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  • An interesting article, l think when we are young we like to be like others in certain ways.


  • i like that, i am playing for a different purpose to others


  • I’ve learnt that it is pointless to compare because I’m me, not someone else.


  • In my younger years I did compare myself to others and their lifestyle etc. I’ve stopped doing that and just focus on me :)


  • I’m guilty of comparing myself and my life to other people which I must really stop doing.


  • Mum always taught us to run our own race. I live by this and keep it simple. Great article Sheree thanks for sharing.


  • Lovely. It’s always ice to have confidence in yourself, your lives, achievements.


  • I have always tried to live by this and never compared myself to someone else


  • Logically I agree wholeheartedly, but I do tend to compare myself even when I know therein lies dissatisfaction :(


  • Thank-you everyone for your comments, it’s really nice to be reaching so many readers! Much Love x


  • a very interesting read, I think all humans are guilty of this habit


  • I think we are all guilty of comparisons, at one point or another. This is a great article to remind us to appreciate ourselves.


  • Interesting read, touch wood my kids are happy with who they are and definitely know they are not alike and still happy.


  • be happy with what you have is my way!

    • Yes we have really learnt that in our lives too


  • Certainly something to think about, I for one know that I continually compare myself with others and see myself wanting. I need to focus more on what I am good at, not what I’m not.
    Thanks for the reminder


  • Very wise words indeed, and incredibly important for adults to remember, as well as encourage in their children. Even as an adult, I feel like I’m competing with my siblings for parental affection, and I have to let go of feelings of inadequacy. Comparing myself to others doesn’t affect those people, but it certainly doesn’t make me feel any better, so I have to let it go.


  • As a child I was told by teachers I was nothing like my older sister who was very academic! This continued my whole school life & I continued to struggle with my grades. After leaving school & chose a nursing career I excelled in my studies. I wish the teachers that put me down & compared me with my sibling could have seen the change in me all those years later.


  • though provoking read. thanks


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