Parents are being encouraged to only play age-appropriate games such as musical chairs, musical statues, Simon Says, and pass the parcel.

But to play them in a revised way so there were “no tears” or disappointed kids.

For musical chairs, it is now suggested to “leave everyone in the game with no winner (and no tears)”.

Adolescent psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said children learn nothing when shielded from pressure, reports ABC news.

“I talk about the wussification of young people, and I swear to God this is one of the best examples I’ve come across,” Dr Carr-Gregg said.

“What we’re doing in the ‘no tears’ versions of these games is we’re basically meaning everyone’s a winner, no one ever loses. But what about real life? They’re not learning anything.”

Dr Carr-Gregg said a 2017 survey of 24,000 teenagers aged 15 to 19 by Mission Australia found “coping with stress” as the top issue of concern.

“It’s not very surprising if they’re shielded from anything that looks anything like pressure in these early days. So I’m not a fan,” he said.

Dr Carr-Gregg encouraged parents to instead play traditional versions of party games with defined winners and losers.

Share your comments below

Getty image

  • No no no. Kids need to learn that things don’t always go their way. They learn resilience by losing, that’s life, we don’t always win


  • I recently to a young toddler’s birthday party where they played pass the parcel. They had something small between each layer of paper. The person controlling the music made sure that everybody got something. Of course the guest of honour got the small gift wrapped inside


  • I won’t be changing any games. I have already become that cow that calls out when a losing child try’s to be sneaky and renter the game. There are rules for a reason.


  • My kids know how to loose, and how to be happy for others who win. It is a much needed learning curve that the earlier it starts the quicker it sinks in and they grow.

    I really dislike how schools now have a policy that everyone gets an award even for things that aren’t really award worthy, just means the kids won’t try harder because they have been taught that everyone gets an award you just have to wait till it’s your turn!

    I want my kids to hustle and work hard and earn their awards so they can feel super proud of themselves and to not settle for the “token award”

    I really feel sorry for the cottonwool wrapped generation when they have to fend for themselves in the real world – they are our future politicians, dr’s, police men and women and we need to think about that when setting them up for the future!


  • Cannot stop winning and losing once they start school… school sports day will put an end to that bandaid and they won’t understand why not everyone is a “winner”


  • Losing is how kids become resilient. I don’t mean leave them lose everything just learn you don’t always win and to dust yourself off and try again.


  • Kids won’t learn this way – life is all about winning and losing, best to teach them when they are younger so they are ready for the pitfalls of life as they grow up!


  • I think it’s fine if a game only has a few winners, but if that’s the case I say you should have another game or two that let’s them all win something small.


  • I could never work out which games to have at my sons birthday parties. The last one I had no games, and the kids just ran around having fun.


  • I agree it’s fine for kids to learn not everyone wins. Most kids parties I attend seem to involve at least one game where everyone gets a dinky prize. The kids seem fine about other games having one winner.


  • You win… You loose… it’s a part of life…


  • I don’t really see the point of musical chairs if you don’t take chairs away?


  • So ridiculous , children need to learn to lose gracefully and if they don’t lose in games, how will they react when they are adults and they don’t get their way?


  • Stop the rot! We have always taught our son to lose!! From an early age when we played games, I never let him win unafirly. If he won, it was because he was good enough. It has taught him to be a most resilient kid who congratulates winners and accepts losses. Meanwhile, he has grown up alongside so many kids who have cried at our parties when they didn’t win something, or cheated (admitted to it!) when they didn’t win. I even had parents say such games shouldn’t be blamed. My response: PARENT YOUR CHILD. Teach them about loss. Teach them how to win and lose graciously. They will be better kids and adults for it.


  • Hrmm… ok then haha. Kids need to know they can’t always win.


Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Please enter your comment below
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like


Looks like this may be blocked by you browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating