A mum says she was shocked when her sister’s mother-in-law admitted that she expects to be paid back for the sacrifices she made while raising children.

Taking to Mumsnet to share her story, a mum says that she was shocked when her sister’s mother-in-law said she expects to be ‘paid back’ for raising children.

The mum says that in their conversation, her sister’s mother-in-law listed all the sacrifices she made to give her children the best opportunities possible and believes that her children, who are now adults, should look after her in return.

Returning The Favour

When the mum asked her sister’s mother-in-law how she expected to be repaid, she was surprised by the response.

“She believes it is the job of her adult children to support her financially,” the mum wrote in her post.

“This includes paying for her holidays, credit cards for spending, paying various non-essential bills etc.”

The mum says that her sister feels the arrangement is completely unfair, especially as her mother-in-law works part-time and is financially secure.

“My sister believes all their spare money should be spent on their children, but her mother-in-law insists mothers should be looked after by their sons.”

Not Normal

Comments on the mum’s post said that her sister should talk to her husband about the situation and reassured her that it was not a reasonable expectation.

“Of course it’s nice to help your parents out if you can, but in the words of every teenage brat out there – I didn’t ask to be born!” one comment said.

“When she was raising her children, did your sister’s mother-in-law support her own mother and mother-in-law?” another asked.

While in many cultures, it is expected that younger generations care for their relatives as they age, we think this mother-in-law has taken things way too far. If she is still able to work and in good health, there is no reason why should she need the financial support of her children and their families.

Do you think children should pay their parents back for raising them? Let us know in the comments.

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  • NO. You can not bring a child into this World and expect them to pay you back for all you do for them as you have zero consent from them to be born in the first place. You do it because you have love in your heart to give to child.


  • My mother in law consistently makes comments about the ‘things she gave up’ to have kids. I don’t believe being paid back is fair, however quality time, staying in contact should be part of this, and enjoyed


  • That is crazy. I wouldn’t expect anything back from my kids other then love.


  • No I don’t think children should pay back their parents. They could instead be more active in looking after their parents as the age or when health deteriorates


  • I do believe adult children should care for their parents as they age in anyway that they can but it shouldn’t be expected and not to the extremes the mother-in-law wants. Getting the opportunity to raise children and the love should be reward enough.


  • I don’t think so. Each generation has been looked after by their parents. It’s just what we do when we want children.


  • This would be nice, but shouldn’t be expected. Our kids are busy with their own lives, raising kids, travelling, buying a house. They shouldn’t be expected to support mum and dad also. I would never expect it. I know if I ever need help, my kids would offer whatever, but I wouldn’t expect anything. I had children because I wanted to, I don’t see any sacrifices, I loved doing it. Still love being a mum, even tho my kids are now adults


  • I wouldn’t expect to be rewarded when I am older for having children, but it would be nice that my children are willing to support/help out whenever/wherever they can.


  • That is insane! Being paid back financially for raising the kids YOU chose to have?!!

    She chose to have kids its her responsibility to raise them and ensure she can do the best for them without expecting anything in return.

    However as a child you would hope that you would look after your parents when they are older as much as possible but that doesn’t mean you should pay for their holidays etc!


  • That mother is completely deluded. Her pay back is getting to spend time with her grandchildren and watching her own children grow up and live their lives. No one forced her to have kids, it was HER decision. I would happily offer financial support to my mother if I could but not if she expected it and was perfectly capable of living comfortably herself.


  • how does she expect them to raise her grankids if they spending all the money on her?
    or is she just that selfish? sounds like she never wanted to be a mum


  • Raising children to me is a blessing, I don’t think I should be rewarded for having a true blessing.


  • No way! I mean it’s nice to help out if you can and they need it but this is just taking it way to far


  • Lol! No way I don’t think so. It is nice if they help as you age though.


  • It’s best not to expect any return when you give. But it is nice to be loved :)


  • We made a choice to have children and expect no payment.


  • Absolutely not. I only wish to be paid back through love, respect and kindness.


  • Um, no. The job of a parent is to raise their children to be able to function independently of them. Once they’re adults, I don’t think parents own their kids anything eg. inheritance, etc. And we should all aim to be financially independent in old age too.


  • I’d never expect my boys to pay my debts or my holidays. I know what it’s like because I did it for my Mum and it ruined our relationship as Mother and Daughter. I’d never put that on my kids. They give me love and support and I couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for anything more

    • Aw bless, I’m sorry it ruined your relationship as Mother and Daughter !


  • I feel so lucky to be able to have had children why some can’t…I have helped our parents to where we can


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