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being a nan when you won’t really get to be a nan. In theory, I’m going to be a nan. In practice, the physicality of distance means I can’t be a nan :( My parents weren’t grandparents to my kids because of distance, and the fact they didn’t really try to be involved. My mother in law was close by and the best hands on nan. I’ve realised, no matter how hard I try to NOT be like my parents, I am now in the situation of having no choice. I will be the nan my grandkids don’t know, don’t see, don’t love, don’t want to know……just like my parents were to mine. And the in laws will be the constantly seen, absolutely adored ones, like my mother in law was. Karma sure has come round and given he a good slap :,(


Posted by mom81879, 25th September 2015


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  • well prioritise them when you are able to. plan that visit for their birthday or chrissie. See if you can have the kids stay with you at school holidays. Skype them! Email them, facebook! So many ways to keep in touch these days that distance doesn’t really need to be an issue. A weekly call or monthly call is great too!

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  • Distance does not determine love :)

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  • Dont think of it as karma, think of it as a test to prove yourself wrong, send you grand kids a post card every two weeks or so saying hello and tell them what you have been doing AND HOW MUCH YOU WISH YOU WERE THERE TO GIVE THEM A HUG. . Ever since my kids could read there own names they just love it when mail comes for them from grandparents that are away for long periods of time. .
    I personally had two sets of grandparents living a few minutes away. One set were great but the other set couldnt give a rats about us as they didnt like my mum. yes we got birthday gifts etc from her but she lived with my uncle and his kids so they got everything from life time paid footy memberships and all the love etc. But by the time she saw us we were just the annoying visitors. The nicest thing she ever said to me was on her death bed was that she loved me but didnt know how to show it. I felt bad but realised i had no control over it as i was a kid.
    So please dont put yourself down when they are old enough to know it from the age of two or three be a present in their lives but from a distance and always let them know you love them from sending little things in the mail eg post cards knitted bennies or scarves in their fav footy colours etc in the mail. or even just say hello when you call your son, kids just talking on the phone about anything.


    • I agree – I loved getting mail from grandparents and proximity did not determine my love for them.

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