My Daughter and her partner have been together for 10 years and have a 4yo and a 2yo, they have not been getting on for a long time now and have decided to break up. Trouble is my 4yo grandson just adores his two mums, we have always told him how luck he was to have two mothers, so he started calling my daughter 2moms, and her partner who is older, old mum. They both love the boys to bits, my daughters partner had the boys, but my daughter is down on their birth certificates as their mother also. The 2yo wont really understand what is going on but the 4yo is quite clever. He loves my daughter more than his other mum, and is just going to be devastated when she leaves, she is staying close by , but she works full time and will only see them on the weekends every now and then and maybe some times have them at night during the week. I am devastated for all of them, breaking up is always hard, but mums usually get to have the kids, and I think kids are used to dad not really being there all the time, so the process is a bit easier.. I don’t know how to help them all through this but mostly the older boy. Its funny, I loved being a mother and adored my children, but my grandchildren seem to have captured my heart more , maybe because I have more free time than when I was younger I look after them a lot and I can see myself not having them as much after the breakup as well. What have others done to cope with this.

Posted by hellanbac, 7th September 2015

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  • i think that they will need to at least be civil so that they can co-parent. i am sure that they will work it out!


  • Breakups are such a difficult time but it’s terrible when kids are involved, I hope you still get to see them heals xx


  • I don’t really think it’s much different to a heterosexual breakup. It’s up to the adults to make it work for the kids.


  • Trial and error here I think. They’re new at this separating bizzo, it’ll uptake time to work things out. There will be problems and they just have to deal with them as they arise. It’ll be hard to begin with but will hopefully get easier


  • The best thing you can do is to continue to be there as a grandma and enjoy your time with them. Talk about it openly and honestly and age appropriately when the kids talk about it/if they do?


  • Be there to support you daughter and the grandkids. They will need you and your house will be normal for them


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