My husband & I will have been married 2 years when our 1st little bundle of joy arrives – after 8 long years together, And we are over the moon.. However as we get closer to babies arrival, I am finding myself becoming quite fearful of not having a part in supporting our lives or our family.. I have worked continuously since the age of 14, with only a 3month break whilst completing my HSC, and have always held that independence close to me.. My husband has a good job, and I know we will get by while I am off work, but I guess I’m just struggling with the realisation that i’ll have to depend on someone completely.. Something that’s often been looked down upon through my upbringing.. Has anyone else gone through this?

Posted by Mrsjharding, 29th July 2014

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  • I felt this way and sometimes still do. It helped that i had to support hubby for 11 months when he was looking for a job. But i used go be the higher earner. Now however i found a part time job, 2/3 halfdays a week. It’s not much but my husband loves being the main breadwinner. He appreciates everything i do around the house. this helped me realise that i may not be contributing financially as much as him but i am raising our kids, teaching them manners etc and making our house a home


  • nice and exellent to read the story


  • Your a family its not a case of its yours or his money its the families money to spend as they need.
    Its not like you havent paid anything into the home, bills, foods look at it as your just having a long holiday till your ready to go back to work.
    Good luck


  • I totally understand what you’re saying, but perhaps look at the situation in a different way. You have done so much, for so long, that maybe now it’s your turn to allow someone else to look after you. You’ll be taking care of bubs, and your partner will be taking care of you and bub. Enjoy the time away from “paid work”, as you’ll likely be back there before you know it. Most of all, take care & be kind to yourself.

    • That is a great way to look at it.. Thank you so much for the advice :)


  • I think you are going to struggle with this as you have been so independent just try not to fester any resentment. Sit back & enjoy that time with your child & sip lattes with your mothers group. Take your years mat leave & go back to work. You’ll be a better person, wife & Mother if you do.


  • It is hard to not have a sense of self. It is important once bubs is born to join some mothers groups and playgroups where you can connect with mums with similar feelings. These groups also help to keep your independence as you are socially associated with your wider community. Motherhood is one of the most precious gifts and your child will fill your world to cover any sense of loss over your independence.

    • :) thanks for the advice ladies, I definitely won’t be holding any resentment, But the mothers group is a great idea, I’ll definitely have to look into it..


  • I felt like you a little but once baby came along I was too busy to worry about it. My husband was very supportive however and as soon as it was practical (and I wanted to) I returned to work.


  • I was the same It is part of being in a partnership and after all you are the one carrying the child, the one that will work even harder but just without pay Don’t feel bad at all.


  • Yes!!!! And I still struggle with it! When our daughter was 1 I was excited to go back to work then found out I was pregnant again. Although days are full and busy with a toddler it takes a while to fully understand that what your doing is just as important in supporting your family as a paid job


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