This one is especially for all of the mums out there living the expat life. We know those times when we hit the fork in the road all to well. We’ve all had them. Those moments when it’s time to choose. When almost every fibre in your being says ‘it’s time to go’. When the little voice of reason, doubt and ‘are we really doing this?’ hits you hard.
A true turning point about where to live and who to keep close can come at any time yet it often tells you something you already know perfectly well. But you might not have been prepared to really understand it or take action until now.
I often chat to my clients about that famous fork in the road. That tricky spot where we know we have to decide to stay put or go home. To settle or to move along. To uproot what we’ve built for ourselves and our loved ones. Or to stand our ground.
The three most common reasons why people get stuck and feel the need for new direction:
1) The end of an era.
Something in your life or your family’s life has come to an end either suddenly or planned. Maybe you’ve finished studying, wrapped up in a specific work assignment or a relationship ended. The key question going through your mind is ‘What now?‘. Probably followed by some element of panic combined with emptiness. Most of us have been at this point sometimes in our life and whether or not it’s carefully planned, it’s still very challenging.
2) Time to grow up?
You might have had people ask you this or you might be feeling that well know internal stress building up. That it’s time to settle down (ideally geographically close to the people who might be hassling you to settle down), do the right thing for the kid (whatever that is and how someone else would prossibly know what’s right for you) and possibly put an end to some of those travels and adventures you love so much. The question you might be asking yourself here is ‘Isn’t it time that…?‘ The challenging thing with this fork in the road is that it’s often other people or external expectations in some way that generate these feelings. Be mindful to not let other people’s opinions take over your mind. You and your family can decide what’s right for you!
3) I’m/we’re running out of time.
I’ve seen this interesting pattern in clients and expats of all ages and family situations. Sometimes it’s triggered by someone who’s been responsible and sensible for too long and/or focussing their energy on making others happy and somewhat forgotten about themselves. If this is you I bet you can’t wait to start doing something for yourself and making your mark in this world. You’re probably asking yourself ‘What do I really want and how do I go about creating that?‘ It’s totally fine not to know where to start, just remember you need to start doing something different today if you want to see some different results in your life. Also remember that if this one rings true for you, walking your truth and following what makes you shine will rub off on your children. Children always model what we DO rather than what we SAY. So start finding a way of doing your thing now!
If either of these ring true for you, rest assured you’re not alone. The question to ask yourself now is not so much why you got here, but what to do next. If you need some help I’d strongly suggest you dare to ask for it. Because things like this are not always easier to manage on your own. Have a chat with a good friend, your partner or even a coach.
Open up the choices available to you and your family so you can make a decision and get past your turning point in a way you’re proud of.
Can you relate to this? Please share your experiences in the comments below.
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