Teenagers react badly to verbal hostility from fathers and become less helpful at home and with strangers.
They found when dad showed hostility for example, shouting, being critical, disapproving or rejecting, teenage behaviour toward family members and strangers, it tended to grow worse. That didn’t happen when mothers were hostile.
It shows when dad plays this role in a heavy-handed way, it turns teenagers off from being helpful at home and with strangers. In contrast, when mum loses her cool with the kids, they don’t tend to react negatively in this way.
“It’s really important for dads to be kind and gentle to their children. Forget traditional messages urging you to be the harsh disciplinarian. Forget ‘Wait till your father gets home.’ Hostility from dad tends to result in negative outcomes,” writes Child and Family blog.
Our message to dads is that it’s really important to be kind and gentle with older children – even gentler sometimes than mum. Forget traditional messages urging you to be the harsh disciplinarian. Forget ‘Wait till your father gets home.’ Hostility from dad tends to produce negative outcomes.
Speaking from experience
I can totally relate to this. The tween (12) of our house gets very standoffish if dad asks him to do a chore or picks him up on poor attitude etc. But if I ask myself he is much more approachable and even though often sullen he still gets in and does what is asked of him. It can be quite exhausting to be honest.
I have often wondered why he rebelled more against his father. This explains a lot!
I must admit though, I do hate it when I hear hubby yell at the kids. BUT if I do it, then that’s a different story. Double standards I know!
Have you had a similar experience?
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