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Do you remember when you were just finishing school and you had an idea about what you wanted to do with your life?

It might not have been concrete or practical, but did you have a burning passion to be, do, have or learn something?

I know I did. 

Around the time I was finishing school I decided to study psychology.

I never wanted to be a psychologist, but I had this yearning to know how people think and why we do the things we do.

I went to university and studied psychology.  I hated it.  Couldn’t stand the way it was taught and the narrow minded lecturers who’d spent so long inside the world of academia that their concept of reality was hugely different to mine!  So, I did a few years of psychology and ended up majoring in Communication and Sociology.  Combine those two and you’ve pretty much got the answer to why people think the way they do anyway!  So I was happy.

What’s the natural progression after university?  You get a job, of course.  You get a job that circumstance dictates.  So many of us fall for it.  We have to.  Bills to pay, lives to lead.  It just happens.

Then, clichéd as it is, one day we wake up and realise that while we might enjoy our job, or the money it brings in, we don’t feel quite like the real version of us anymore.

We’ve been moulded and shaped into what society (or our boss) expects from us and in order to get by, we conformed.



That’s exactly what I did, for nearly 20 years. I had jobs. I also had businesses, which were based on my skills or on what the market responded to. None of it came from my heart and none of it made me feel like a whole and complete, valuable person. I forgot for a long time that that’s what I deserved. I let other people bend me to fit their needs.

I allowed myself to become someone I’m not, for the sake of pleasing others who really didn’t deserve pleasing.

I eventually realised I’d lost touch with the real me and that if I didn’t do something soon, to make peace with myself, that I’d be missing out on a whole lot of love!  Love for me and from me.  Love for myself.

In order to learn how to love myself again, I enrolled in a course which I sneakily told myself was to help my clients.  Of course, it helped me more than I could have ever imagined.

OMG – that one course in female psychology and epi-genetics, changed my life!  I rediscovered my passion for the mind and I just knew I had to evolve to help women master their own psychology and that with my new knowledge I could specifically help women who let their own emotional baggage get in the way of having a more successful life OR business.  (That had been me at many stages, so I knew the feeling).

I had rediscovered my purpose and now I wholeheartedly live my dream from all those years ago.

It’s OK that it took me this long to get here.   I really believe that the universe took me in other directions so I’d have all the extra knowledge; life experiences and training that I need to be able to more completely support my clients.

So, how did I know? What was different this time around?  My heart is different.  The women I work with enrich my soul. I’ve found what I was born to do.

It took me a while to decide to niche hop.  It wasn’t a decision I took lightly. I asked other people what they thought, I wrote lists of my strengths, my goals and my interests.  I tested my own mindset and abilities and pondered my options for a while and it all led me to know with absolute confidence that I am doing what I love.

I’d thought I’d found a business I was passionate about before and I do still love doing my other stuff, but this doesn’t compare on any level.  I know that I will fully transition into mentoring women, as a natural progression from my other ventures.

I was told recently that we often end up doing what we first intended when we were 16 to 19 years old, so I’ve definitely proven that theory!

Would I do it differently if I had the chance?  Well, I would certainly hope that I’d arrive at this point in my life earlier, but hindsight doesn’t really exist, so I know I couldn’t do it any differently.

I also find it interesting that I allow myself to be defined by my career.  I think that’s OK too.  Sure, I’m a mum, a wife, a friend and all that, but my mind is consumed by my passion for helping others, so that becomes my higher calling.

In the same way you might be a sportsperson or an adventurer, we are defined by what we love.  That’s not wrong.  It’s beautiful.  Don’t fight it.

If you’re searching for something you love, if you’re not sure how to fill your cup of life, then give it time.

Ask yourself the hard questions, listen to others who you respect and go deep within yourself to find the answers.

Some of the following questions might help your thought process:

  • What energises you?
  • If you could accomplish ONE thing in your life, what would it be? (That you haven’t already done.)
  • What are your most feared emotions?
  • What are your 5 favourite life experiences? What do you remember with vivid fondness? Why is that important to you?
  • What risks would you take if you knew you could never fail?
  • What would you do if you lost all your money?
  • What are you great at? What are you absolutely confident in doing? (You might be surprised by what you can turn into a business!)
  • What do your daydreams look like?

It’s not about money.  It’s not about being famous or having a thousand friends.  It’s about what makes you YOU.

For me it’s feeling whole and complete. Some people call it happy. It doesn’t even need a name. It’s whatever’s right for YOU, in your heart and soul and it will arrive there when the time’s right for YOU.

Until then, how about you consciously choose to enjoy the journey that will deliver you to your ultimately fulfilling destination, where you will be and do, exactly what you love.

Do you do what you love? Please share with us in the comments.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • i think that this is a great article to remind yourself of who you are but be careful that it is not JUST who you used to be. People grow and change and as we learn more about the world, we learn more about ourselves and our wants and needs grow. We do adapt and evolve and need to re-evaluate what truly makes us happy

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  • No matter what I always come back to interior design/architecture. I think your passions find you sometimes.

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  • I love being a mum, always wanted to be a mum, and that’s exactly what I am. So I am loving what I am doing

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  • If finances would allow I would quit my job tomorrow and get a part time job helping others and spend more time with my children.

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  • very nice

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  • If we look at it honestly, we all know when we are in place that is not the right one. I agree wholeheartedly that we can’t always do what we want when we want and circumstances often dictate that but when you are where you are meant to be you just know it. Follow your dreams if you want to be truly happy!

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  • I’m doing what I love at the moment. It has been a roller coaster career though, burnt out a couple of times but still end up going back to the same things

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  • No, never had the chance, screwed up every opportunity I had. Young and naive thinking I knew what was best. Now I’m older and wiser I realise how wrong I was. But if I did what I should have, I wouldn’t have my kids, and no way would I swap them

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  • a very interesting article to read thank you.

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  • it s nice and good

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  • Great article, thanks for sharing. I need to put lots of thoughts in those questions. I always find it is hard just to start but once I start then I will find a way to push myself forward. At this moment I can’t bring myself to concentrate on anything other than my baby. Being mum is what I like right now.

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  • Thank you for your thoughts Tonia.

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  • this is so great to have a read

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  • I’m in the rut, just doing it to eek out a living, time for a change i think, i have done my certs in business, thanks for your article positive times ahead for me.


    • I find change is something we don’t often chase. We get stuck, like you say, in a rut and just plod along never seeking out change. However, when we do…. that’s when we feel the pride, the self respect, the success of stepping up, even if we don’t fully reach our goals. Good on you for recognising your rut and taking steps to make change. x

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  • Thanks for this – ots of sage advice – going to direct my daughter to read it too


    • Yay, the more we can help our future generations to enjoy every second, the better our planet will be! x

    Reply

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