A mum has shared her concern after discovering her twelve-year-old daughter’s secret Instagram account.

Posting her story on Mumsnet, a concerned mum has shared her shock and disappointment after discovering her twelve-year-old daughter had a secret Instagram account.

The mum said that despite telling her daughter that she was not allowed to sign up to the social media site, the account had been active for a while, and couldn’t believe what her daughter was posting.

Growing Up Too Fast

Although she was tempted to confront her daughter immediately after finding the secret Instagram account, the mum says that she decided to keep a close eye on it instead and was horrified by what she saw.

“She has asked me for an Instagram account lots of times and I said no,” she posted.

“I recently found out she had created an account without telling me. I was going to tell her right away that I knew and deal with it but I decided to monitor it for a few days. I have seen she has posted photos of herself in a bikini which she knows is unacceptable. I now feel like I can’t trust her.”

The mum said she plans to confiscate her daughter’s smartphone and replace it with one that doesn’t have internet access.

Ways Around It

Parents commenting on the mum’s post agreed with her decision to take the phone but pointed out that her daughter was likely to find a way around the ban.

“Taking her phone away will stop it for a while but she will find a way,” one mum wrote. “If you allow some things, then I think they are less likely to hide things.”

“They are seeing older women posting pictures, getting likes and they want the same attention and approval,” said another. “It is like a drug chasing likes.”

With Instagram removing its ‘like’ feature in Australia as part of a trial, only time will tell if it reduces the pressure on children and teens to grow up too fast.

Did you discover that your child had a secret Instagram account? Share your story in the comments.

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  • My daughter is still far too young but this is a worry for parents whose kids have a mobile or tablet. It’s so important to be cyber aware and talk to your kids about these things.


  • I would say she can have the account but show her how to make it private so only people she adds can see the photos and one of those people has to be you and you must have the password and she needs to be aware that if you feel you have reason and only if you feel there is a reason then you will log in to check her account.
    She went behind your back and did something she was banned from doing so there needs to be some sort of punishment for that. I would 100% make it that at bedtime her phone is turned off and given to you and you will return it in the morning.


  • My kids are 26 and 29, 27 and 30 later this year so I wouldn’t be surprised if they have secrets from me. I know they both have Instagram accounts though


  • I would take the phone away too. My 12 yo Dr has a phone but she knows she is not allowed to have social media. I check her phone regularly (with her permission) and so far she has done the right thing .


  • Yep take the phone away but then have an honest conversation about why and how dangerous it is to be posting pictures like that. I would even go on to talk about sexualisation of girls, reputations and how pictures on the internet can be downloaded by strangers and placed on other sites.


  • It’s a worry for sure especially when they know so much more about social media than I do.


  • Today’s youth are a lot smarter than adults when it comes to technology….


  • Both my kids are adults, but neither of them have Instagram accounts. I’ve tried to get them to enter comps on Instagram, I can’t because I don’t have it either, and they’ve both said they can’t cos they don’t have Instagram


  • Social media is silly and kids should have less internet exposure and more learning in their everyday life


  • When my daughter was in primary school, the “in” thing to be on was Kik. It was a chat room, most of her class mates were on it so she joined as well. After hearing about a bullying incident involving some of the kids from her school whilst they were on Kik I decided to sit with her to see how it all worked. She was typing to people and all the hairs stood up on my arms when I saw someone’s profile photo, it was a wolf, wearing the skin and head of a sheep, so basically a wolf in sheep’s clothing!!!! I asked her who this person was and how old are they and she said she didn’t know. I got her to type and ask if they were a he or she and how old are you. The answer came back, a he and 19. I told her to block the person and then had a long talk with her, trying to explain what a wolf in sheep’s clothing meant and how it’s not appropriate for a 19 year old man to be chatting to an 11 year old girl.


  • My son is 3yo no social media yet but i hope he will stay away from it for long…


  • social media for our children is one of our biggest concerns for the future – it makes them so accessible to others and is something i need to get more educated on.


  • I hope they don’t have lots of revealing photos


  • This is something I’m going to be very concerned about when my little ones grow up. I just hope i can keep up with the trends so that I can be more aware of what might occur so i can keep on top of it all.


  • My girls aren’t old enough at the moment for this to be a worry for us but this whole thing scares me! I’m really not looking forward to having to worry about social media and bullying, boys etc.


  • This is so true amd definitely happening. A couple of my friends’ children have multiple Facebook and Instagram profiles..


  • I believe children are being given way too much leeway with screen time these days. They need to be closely monitored and parents need to know what content their children are accessing.


  • The key is ABC : Adults (parents) should know what their children are doing on these devises at that age. Boundaries are needed. Communication/conversations is so very important.


  • My oldest daughter’s father helped make her an Instagram account because he made one, though I didn’t find out right away. My other do not. At least I know about my daughter’s and it’s not secret.


  • I wouldn’t let my kids use internet on their phone until they could pay for it them selves. And yes, having a good conversation is a good idea!


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