If you’re currently tossing up between baby names, consider this article a public service announcement. Mums have joined forces to come up with a list of the most problematic baby names in existence, and the reasons why they wouldn’t never use them for their own children.

The thread on mumsnet was started just a few days ago, and is already five pages long. Because, ladies, there are apparently a whole galaxy of baby names that need to be eliminated from use.

The original poster of the thread laid down some very clear rules on the purpose of the list. “Starting this thread for names which are genuinely problematic,” she explained. “The purpose is, a quick reference for people to check is the name they are thinking of on the list, and also as a reference for justifiable reasons to advise against using a name.”

And the mums did not disappoint. Referencing names that are linked to historical catastrophes to monikers that have interesting meanings in different nations, they crafted a list of baby names they’d never use, and why.

16 baby names mums would never use

Here are just some of the baby names they blacklisted, and the reasons the mums have given.

1. Lolita

“Reason – most people associate this with the character in the book by Nabokov, about a paedophile. The character Lolita is his victim.”

2. Enola

“Reason – this very uncommon name was made famous when the pilot of the plane that dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima decided to name the plane after his mother, Enola Gay. A catchy pop song by the band Orchestral Maneouvres in the Dark, about the plane, is well-known in the UK.”

3. Myra

“This spelling and the pronunciation like the English word ‘my’ is widely considered unusable in the UK. It was not a particularly common name and most people associate with Myra Hindley, a notorious serial killer.
The similar names Moira, Meera, Meira, Mara, and Maura are all fine to use.”

4. Michael

“…if your surname is Hunt.”

5. Donald

“If the duck didn’t already do it, the name Donald is officially dead to the world.”

6. Candida

“Because it’s a fungal disease.”

7. Fanny

“Because it’s a common euphemism.”

8. Peony

“Because of ANYTHING you would ever say about anything that belongs to them.

Peony’s hat
Peony’s coat
Peony’s rash
Peony’s problem
Peony’s caught on the zipper

Just say them out loud grin.”

9. Percy

“Is slang for penis. Pointing Percy at the porcelain is a well known expression for going to the toilet.”

10. Melaena/Melena

“It’s black tarry poo due to bleeding in the gut.”

11. Addison

“It’s a disease.”

12. Pippa

“We really loved the name Pippa but then found out it means slang for blowjob and other similar things in various European languages.”

13. Joby

“It’s basically Scots for poo, and not in an obscure old word that people won’t know way.”

14. Abigail

“Meaning lady’s maid. They say it’s archaic but it’s used in Jane Eyre.”

15. Amelia

“Meaning without arms or legs. Another medical term to avoid.”

16.Randy

“It’s unusable in UK (in my opinion) and prob quite dated in US.”

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Do you know anyone who has used any of these baby names?

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