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Anne* was a self confessed “hater of kids”, she never expected to be a mother, nor did she ever really want to be.

“Since I was a kid, I never wanted children,” the now 41-year-old told news.com.au.

Despite her feelings towards children, Anne has a “very strong and loving” relationship with her son, who is now in to his early 20s.

Now surrounded by “stressed friends” who have young families, Anne thinks more women should be taking her lead and having a baby before the age of 25 — especially if they want to succeed and continue climbing the career ladder.

“I think women are making a big mistake by having babies later,” she said.

“They should have children younger, because I think women get trapped when they have them at an older age.

“When you have children younger, you have time to career build afterwards instead of being halfway through your career and needing six months or even a whole year off. And that time off is for your first child, what if you have two or three?”

“I think because I was young, I was able to get back in to work soon after giving birth,” she said.

“From that point forward I got promoted quite quickly. When you’re young, the baby fits in with you more, but when you’re older, you are more set in your ways.

When her son turned 10, Anne was involved in a serious car accident that resulted in a broken back. Years after the incident, her injury required a spinal fusion, which caused serious physical complications.

In 2013, Anne had to stop working fulltime, and now relies on her partner to provide the family income.

Today, many of her friends “battle” to take care of their children. Instead of wishing she was at the same stage as those around her, Anne only “pities” woman who are middle-aged and having to contend with a young family.

“I feel sorry for anyone 33 plus with babies or toddlers. Cancer is preferable,” she said.

“I have friends now who have young kids at my age, and they are struggling with mortgages along with child expenses, but that’s not even a consideration for me now.

“I don’t envy middle-aged mothers at all. I pity them because they are trapped. They are trapped financially, physically and emotionally.”

Anne thinks the biggest problem with motherhood today is the mentality that being a new parent “is the hardest job in the world”.

In her words, it’s “a joke” and women who feel this way are “just justifying their sad non-existence”.

“I don’t understand how staying at home and being a mum, who is paid by the taxpayer, is the hardest job in the world,” Anne said.

“My biggest problem with stay-at-home mums is they put the blame on the child. If you want to sit at home, fine, but just admit you don’t want to work. Don’t pretend you being at home is for the benefit of the child, because it’s not. Preschool and daycare is for the benefit. How many mums do educational stuff with their children?

“Motherhood is not a job, it’s an obligation. A job is when you go and work, and parent on top of that.”

According to the most recent Australian Institute of Health and Welfare data, the average age of Australian mothers is now 30.6 years old, which is an increase of 7.5 per cent since 1991.

The proportion of mothers aged 20—24 fell from 15.2 per cent in 2002 to 13.8 per cent in 2011. The proportion of older mothers, aged 35 and over, increased from 18.1 per cent in 2002 to 22.5 per cent in 2011.

Share your comments below.

Read full article here.

Image via Shutterstock

  • Hm, I can’t relate to what is written in this article. I met my husband when I was 38. We had several miscarriages and when my daughter arrived when I was 40 and my son when I was 41 we were delighted !! I never felt trapped or had the desire to proof myself in my career. Now at 52 my kids are 11 and 10 years old and we have 3 foster kids age 6, 4 and 2. Two of my foster kids have a delay. Kids mean the world to me, I love them.

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  • I am a young mum but i can’t compare myself to ‘older mum’s’ as i’m not one so who am i to judge or assume their situation to my own, I think this woman needs to not be so judgemental

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  • I was 23 when I had my first child, 26 with my second, I’m happy with those choices. I think I wasn’t too old or too young. There’s so many different factors coming into play when having babies tho, it doesn’t work out that everyone can have kids early or late

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  • Wow. Bitter and twisted. I’d have had kids younger if I could – I didn’t meet their dad till my late thirties. I don’t feel trapped, I don’t regret my kids, and if I’m more tired than younger mums, I also have different emotional resources to help me.

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  • I waited until 36 and found the right husband and potential father. He is the best father by the way. I am happy that my 2 young children have entered my life. I did plenty of travel and work before giving birth and as they go to school i will go back to work for the 40 odd years I have left of my happy life.

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  • Anne should try a little cancer.


    • Yes, your short, sharp comment is spot on!!
      Can’t stand these rants from people who think doing things their way is the only way!

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  • Very insensitive and not smart.
    I had my first baby when I was 38 and second one just last month, I am now 41.
    I believe when you have kids later can be even better as you by then have your career, you are financialy stable, as you enjoyed your life all these years partying or traveling it easier for you to commit your “freedom” to take care of a baby and pass on to her/him all your love and experience.

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  • This heading upsets me to say you would rather have cancer than kids after 33. I find it extremely insensitive and inappropriate especially to those currently suffering or watching some one suffer from Cancer.

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  • I would love to be a SAHM but cant afford it. I would love to do it because i love spending time with my children not because I am too lazy to work. As far as educational activities – I do way more educational activities with my boys than they do in preschool.

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  • MOM, I thought the initial articles had to be approved.
    I think this one is in very bad taste.
    Who would prefer to get Cancer rather than have a baby – at any age??
    No-one that is sane.

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  • My 3 oldest children were in my early 20’s and I enjoyed having them and I thought life was great. My daughter came along in my late 30’s , yes unplanned and my youngest ones twins at 51. I have since being treated for suspected ovarian cancer and my children in my later years were more enjoyable. I do not regret these surprises , even though my older children do help with the younger 2.
    Cancer no and I have no idea how Ann would think so.

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  • MoM I’m disappointed that you even paid homage to this blog. All mothers whether SAHM, Employed outside the home, younger or older are very busy and usually very dedicated to their kids… I don’t think you should be publishing stories that try to create a divide between us, we should be here to support each other – there is already enough pressure and judgement on what we do without reading it in a blog made for mums!

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  • I had my 1st baby at 38 – then again at 40! Both were healthy natural births with no pain relief and no issues with me or the babies during or after birth. I am now 40 and couldnt be happier! I followed a strict healthy lifestyle after the age of 30, daily exercise, proper wholesome food, no alcohol or cigarettes etc so i can safely say that i am much more healthier now than what i was in my 20s! Cancer? Hmm so far so good! I also definitely lived my life in my 20s! I chose to travel overseas every year – i even lived overseas for a few years.. i studied, got my degree and landed a job in my field..i moved up in my career and it couldn’t get any better than that, so now i am happy to settle down and enjoy the more laid back quieter times with my hubby and little ones. I am healthy enough to spend time with my kids outdoors so looking forward to that soon! If i had kids in my 20s i would be trying to live my life now while in my 40s – that is: partying, traveling, experimenting, exploring etc like a lot of my friends with teenage kids are doing now. No thanks! Been there done that! My choices have worked out just fine :))

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  • I am reeling at this woman’s words. Comparing motherhood to cancer just horrified me. I have survived breast cancer. My beautiful Mum died from ovarian cancer. Anne didn’t stop here, she kept going: motherhood is not a job, it’s an obligation. To me, motherhood is a very special privilege. I have four wonderful sons and I enjoyed every single minute of raising them (okay, there was that odd exception … ) Now I have four grandkids, life just keeps getting better. I hope Anne is touched by a ray of sunshine and her bitterness is replaced with a smile.

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  • WHAT?
    Not all people need to have a career? Staying at home and giving your child the attention they need to feel safe and secure so they can develop well is more important than sending them to care with “structured Learning” that they are too young to need.
    I chose to wait to have kids so I could pay off the house and have savings so I would not need to work and could give my child the time and love that they need. It required hard work and great planning.
    do not presume that all stay at home mums are lazy or lack drive. We are not all paid by the “tax payer”. Raising children may not seem an important job to you because most people can get pregnant, even by accident, but if I have chosen to work hard my entire life so I can be there for my children that is an accomplishment worth celebrating NOT pitying.
    I am not trapped but rather have reached my goal. have you?

    Reply

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