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October 22, 2020

56 Comments

Ok, we may not admit it, but deep-down we like hearing stories about mums doing it hard. We laugh uproariously at pics of parents with poop-explosions all over their clothes or giggle at memes of kids creating a texta masterpiece on a crisp white wall. We love it because most of us can relate to the terrors of parenting and it makes us feel better about ourselves and our delinquent kids.

However, one mum went against the pack and shared on a facebook group how she was #winning at mumming. Well, cue the volcano spewing tall-poppy syndrome. In the face of such positivity, many mums tried to squash out all the good vibes. It’s clearly just not cool to admit that life as a mum can actually be good.

It all started when mum-of-three K posted the following in a facebook group for mums:

“I do not mean this is any bad way so please don’t take offense.

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But anyone feel like they were just meant to have twins and find things easy? Like it doesn’t bother me at all? Only thing is that it’s so repetitive but it’s been 14 weeks and feel think I’m lying when I say I find it easy when they ask how do I do it?

I’ve only ever had one bad day and that’s because I was hungover.”

She continued to describe her day:

“Today it’s 10am and my house is clean washing done oldest at school, comp ready ( she’s going out) I’ve faked tan ( girls night tonight) and just got back from food shopping minus fresh veggies/fruit.”

“To mums to be, only advice I have is,  do what you do to one to the other eg ones hungry? Feed both, bathed one? Bath the other the next day so it’s only one bath a day and it’s not rushed so you can both enjoy it. And get up and move as fast as you can! The more ur out moving your body the more you get this little daily pump to get up and clean the house!”

She ended her post with the comment:

“Twin life so much easier than just having the one!”

K accompanied her post with a photo of her adorable twin girls with the tagline: “I have this down pat”

You’re Going To Jinx Yourself!

Many mums jumped onto the post straight away, clearly put out by the positive vibes:

“Don’t jinx yourself!” warned one mum.

“Wait until they can scream no at you and run away in opposite directions,” said another

“It was soooooo easy… Then they hit 2..”

“Newborn twins are a piece of cake. It’s the toddler/preschool ages that kill you.”

One member was concerned about the implication of the post for mums suffering from PND:

“If any one reads this post and needs to chat, PLEASE dm me. It’s hard not to compare and if you’re suffering from PND or having a bad day PLEASE reach out…”

Another shared that it’s probably best for mums to keep their positive vibes to themselves:

“It does annoy me when those people say ‘twins are easy’ because it’s not like that for every parent of twins and saying that makes it seem as though it is? ”

We’re #WINNING Too

Although there were a number of comments in support of the post:

“I am the same people think us it so hard and the past year I haven’t found hard. I mean I have my days but overall I feel like I was meant to be a twin mum and when people says oh it must be so hard for you and I say it’s not they look at me like I’m lying.”

Another mum shared why she doesn’t talk much about how good life is:

” I don’t comment a lot because I feel overly lucky & don’t wanna put that on mummas doing it harder. ”

So Many Negative Vibes

K followed up her post with two edits saying:

“edit::: so much negative vibes! You are all killing it! I’m saddened to see how many people can’t feel they can express themselves no matter what way you feel!”

Turning Off Comments

She then ended with yet another addendum:

“2nd edit: obviously this a group where most don’t like reading positive things.  Some are making this so negative instead of running with my positive vibe.”

She then proceeded to turn off comments on the post “because I refuse to feel like sh*t for having a good time.  I don’t have any cruel intentions on making anyone feel like crap!”

Do you think mums should be able to share the good as well as the bad? Some mums felt this mum was gloating – what did you think? Are we so used to revelling in negativity that we can’t celebrate other mum’s successes? Share your comments below.

More On Mouths of Mums

  • She had every right to share her happiness, people are such wet blankets!

    Reply

  • I really dislike hearing people being put down because they are enjoying bring up their children and finding all the wonderful positive things in doing so. Of course many need help and look to social media for that help, but there are [certainly in my day were] many who have fun parenting and don’t have problems [or maybe they solved them with their positive attitude to parenting] and they should also be able to say how happy they are with what they are doing on social media too IMO. I had four children under 7 at age 26 and we had a lot of fun together and I can not remember having a problem with any of them as babies, never heard of the terrible twos, or tyrannical threes, or fighting fours and not even the problematic teenage years. If you are positive, don’t promise what you cannot keep, and once you have made a rule don’t go back on it, then you won’t have problems is what I found in rearing my children. And I did work, after each child to keep the finances stable, so wasn’t a stay-at-home mum just before anyone thinks that was how I managed.

    Reply

  • Why blast her because she’s cruising through motherhood? Some of us struggle, others don’t, thats life

    Reply

  • Good on her!!! It’s nice to hear a mum not whinge for a change and it’s a free country, she’s free to express herself. All those negative comments make me think some mums just feed off each others negativaty.

    Reply

  • Lucky her if she’s got it all sorted out!

    Reply

  • Some are just better at being organised than others and clearly she’s doing well with this. Good on her!

    Reply

  • Good on her! For all those mums who haven’t had it as easy, your time is coming!

    Reply

  • I’m sure she wasn’t trying to put anyone down, she was just so pleased it’s working for her at the moment. Hope it keeps going for her

    Reply

  • I think we all have wins and good days when parenting. In fact, that was what was so often shared. Now we’re being honest and sharing the good with the bad. Good on her. But parenting is for life. I do hope all her days are good, but also that she’s prepared for when they’re not. Because that’s okay and normal too.

    Reply

  • Good on her. Parenting is different for everyone. No need to rain on her parade

    Reply

  • Good on her for finding it easy! I found it easy in the beginning (when I had baby 2) but that changed quickly! My third is a dream. Only issues is dropping the older two at two different schools. There are days where I think I’m winning at it and then I get the days where it’s the complete opposite. However, my kids love me so in a way I will always be winning at it… even if it’s just a little in each day.

    Reply

  • It’s her experience, no one elses and no one should shame her for it as well. Unless there was some degree of disingenuity like having a nanny 24/7, then perhaps (just perhaps), it’s slightly warranted. Walk a mile in their shoes…

    Reply

  • Well it comes across as bragging and is rather insensitive to parents who may not be having an easy time.

    Reply

  • its different for everyone and so many factors that need to be taken in to account.

    Reply

  • I’m glad she’s having fun and should be free to share her opinion, in the same way people who are struggling hopefully can share and reach out.
    However the way she shares is quite generalizing. For example she could have shared “I’m blessed to have easy twins” instead of “Twin life so much easier than just having the one!”…she cannot say anything about someone else twin or life. Not only are our kids all different, we ourselves are different, our circumstances are different, our relationships and history is different, our physical health and confidence are different, etc

    Reply

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