August 27, 2019

Ok, we may not admit it, but deep-down we like hearing stories about mums doing it hard. We laugh uproariously at pics of parents with poop-explosions all over their clothes or giggle at memes of kids creating a texta masterpiece on a crisp white wall. We love it because most of us can relate to the terrors of parenting and it makes us feel better about ourselves and our delinquent kids.

However, one mum went against the pack and shared on a facebook group how she was #winning at mumming. Well, cue the volcano spewing tall-poppy syndrome. In the face of such positivity, many mums tried to squash out all the good vibes. It’s clearly just not cool to admit that life as a mum can actually be good.

It all started when mum-of-three K posted the following in a facebook group for mums of multiples:

“I do not mean this is any bad way so please don’t take offense.

But anyone feel like they were just meant to have twins and find things easy? Like it doesn’t bother me at all? Only thing is that it’s so repetitive but it’s been 14 weeks and feel think I’m lying when I say I find it easy when they ask how do I do it?

I’ve only ever had one bad day and that’s because I was hungover.”

She continued to describe her day:

“Today it’s 10am and my house is clean washing done oldest at school, comp ready ( she’s going out) I’ve faked tan ( girls night tonight) and just got back from food shopping minus fresh veggies/fruit.”

“To mums to be, only advice I have is,  do what you do to one to the other eg ones hungry? Feed both, bathed one? Bath the other the next day so it’s only one bath a day and it’s not rushed so you can both enjoy it. And get up and move as fast as you can! The more ur out moving your body the more you get this little daily pump to get up and clean the house!”

She ended her post with the comment:

“Twin life so much easier than just having the one!”

K accompanied her post with a photo of her adorable twin girls with the tagline: “I have this down pat”

You’re Going To Jinx Yourself!

Many mums jumped onto the post straight away, clearly put out by the positive vibes:

“Don’t jinx yourself!” warned one mum.

“Wait until they can scream no at you and run away in opposite directions,” said another

“It was soooooo easy… Then they hit 2..”

“Newborn twins are a piece of cake. It’s the toddler/preschool ages that kill you.”

One member was concerned about the implication of the post for mums suffering from PND:

“If any one reads this post and needs to chat, PLEASE dm me. It’s hard not to compare and if you’re suffering from PND or having a bad day PLEASE reach out…”

Another shared that it’s probably best for mums to keep their positive vibes to themselves:

“It does annoy me when those people say ‘twins are easy’ because it’s not like that for every parent of twins and saying that makes it seem as though it is? ”

We’re #WINNING Too

Although there were a number of comments in support of the post:

“I am the same people think us it so hard and the past year I haven’t found hard. I mean I have my days but overall I feel like I was meant to be a twin mum and when people says oh it must be so hard for you and I say it’s not they look at me like I’m lying.”

Another mum shared why she doesn’t talk much about how good life is:

” I don’t comment a lot because I feel overly lucky & don’t wanna put that on mummas doing it harder. ”

So Many Negative Vibes

K followed up her post with two edits saying:

“edit::: so much negative vibes! You are all killing it! I’m saddened to see how many people can’t feel they can express themselves no matter what way you feel!”

Turning Off Comments

She then ended with yet another addendum:

“2nd edit: obviously this a group where most don’t like reading positive things.  Some are making this so negative instead of running with my positive vibe.”

She then proceeded to turn off comments on the post “because I refuse to feel like sh*t for having a good time.  I don’t have any cruel intentions on making anyone feel like crap!”

Do you think mums should be able to share the good as well as the bad? Some mums felt this mum was gloating – what did you think? Are we so used to revelling in negativity that we can’t celebrate other mum’s successes? Share your comments below.

More On Mouths of Mums

  • I feel bad, that other mums felt the need to bring K down… parenting is different for everyone and for each child! I was so impressed and happy for K as I read the post! I had poor/bad pregnancies and a tough parenting experience, however I was really happy to know that not everyone suffers! Honestly I enjoyed reading that post, it gave me hope!

    To all the haters who mentioned it would get tough for K later… that’s not helpful or nice, let the mumma enjoy her win! Give her support and courage to enjoy the experience because so many of us don’t. If it gets rough for her later, at least she’ll remember the good days… and if it doesn’t I’m more glad for it!

    Go K, your twin girls a super cute! Keep doing you! I’m so glad you have it great, it’s nice to see a win! I wouldn’t wish my personal experience on anyone… it was rough and without my supportive tribe around me I wouldn’t have made it.

    Reply

  • Love that she’s sharing a positive story! Everyone’s journey is so different. Go her

    Reply

  • Everyone has a different journey and perspective I am sure every parent struggles at different times

    Reply

  • Heck yes she is entitled to share her happiness, but to a lot of parents it could come across as condescending and bragging about how great she is even though she isn’t meaning for it to be that way. If she is enjoying it, good for her, she is one of the lucky ones and I envy her.

    Reply

  • we’ve all had our shares of ups and downs. everyone does. she chooses to be happy one way – others choose to be happy the other way.

    Reply

  • I think the reality is you will have good days and bad days.

    Reply

  • She goes food shopping and doesn’t buy fruit and vegetables. What food is she feeding her family.
    I hope she remembers which one she bathed. She admits she got hungover – how badly and did her family suffer because of her behaviour. Yo can have plenty of fun without resorting to that. I wonder how old her school age child is and is able to wash parts of back etc. that are hard to reach, and if that child gets any help if needed.

    Reply

  • I’m happy she finds it easy, love to feel the same way on those days where everything goes wrong

    Reply

  • I’m glad she’s on top of things, but her language doesn’t sound very humble.

    Reply

  • So terrible that other mothers put her down when she is so positive, it is wonderful to hear of a mother embracing and coping so well instead of so much negativity around motherhood, I wish people would give her more support for being happy.

    Reply

  • So wonderful that this mum talks about things being easy for her – every mum has different ways of dealing with her kids and it’s about time more balance was put out there on social media.

    Reply

  • Sometimes some people can see the positives in a situation where as other find every possible reason to think it’s hard. And it probably is hard for them. Everyone deals with things differently.
    I struggle talking about my pregnancy journey, c section recovery and breastfeeding journey because. Well. All of them were easy. I had absolutely no real dramas at all. It makes me uncomfortable to share my story in amongst a group setting where everyone is talking about how hard their pregnancy was or how painful breastfeeding was.

    Reply

  • Why not share the good and the bad. Parenting can be blissful and hard it’s all about how you deal with it and your outlook on life. Children can be trying and can be a blessing as well.

    Reply

  • Mums should be able to share the good and bad moments without being judged and without feeling inferior/ superior

    Reply

  • It is so good that she had this experience, everyone is different

    Reply

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