January 14, 2020


This controlling mother-in-law insisted that the gender of her grandchild be kept a secret…

One unhappy mum has taken to popular forum Reddit to tell of her mother-in-law’s controlling behaviour during her pregnancy. Revealing that her mother-in-law has insisted that the gender of her baby be kept a secret, the mum-to-be said that she feels she should be able to do whatever she wants without being made to feel guilty.

A Step Too Far

During the holiday break, the concerned mum says her mother-in-law was insufferable and made her feel incredibly uncomfortable. “After being horrible to everyone, and blaming my pregnancy hormones when I gently stood up to her, MIL’s new obsession is making sure we do NOT find out the sex of our unborn baby because if we do, we’ll ‘ruin everything.’ The mum went on to say that her mother-in-law kept telling her that she’d be having a boy as her family’s genes make boys (we’re not sure that’s how it works…) which wouldn’t be as annoying if she hadn’t also announced the pregnancy without permission just 8 weeks in. Starting to sound like a trouble maker to us!

Getting Revenge

Comments on the post included suggestions on how to get a little revenge on the mother-in-law for her pushy ways. “Come up with outlandish, bizarre names to troll her,” said one. “My ex and I told his mom that our daughter’s middle name would be Chewbacca. We kept it up long enough that she was never sure if we were serious, especially since we’re both geeky weirdos,” said another.  The mum-to-be revealed that she had actually decided to find out the gender of the baby, despite her mother-in-law’s protests, but wouldn’t be telling her. “Science says we CAN find out the baby’s sex and despite the supposed ‘boy genes’, we’re having a healthy little girl! Guess who doesn’t get to know this information?!”

Did you have to contend with an overbearing family member during your pregnancy? Share your story in the comments!


  • Nobody but the parents get to decide if they’re finding out the sex of the baby. You don’t need to tell anyone though. I kept my first baby’s gender a surprise for everyone but found out myself.


  • This really is outrageous – hopefully she backs off.


  • Thank god I don’t have any of these issues with my mil I would of blasted her haha


  • Never had problems before my children were born, but MIL only acknowledged the males and the female children were not acknowledged at all. Very hurtful when birthdays came around as the girls couldn’t understand why they didn’t get a present and their brothers got very expensive ones from MIL. Many years later, MIL was very hurt when her granddaughters weren’t interested that she was ill but her grandsons couldn’t care much about her either. Guess KARMA does have its day!
    MIL should always remember it will be the women in the family that will choose their retirement homes one day, the males can’t be bothered as a woman will take over.


  • Luckily I don’t have issues like this with my family or my inlaws they all mind their own business!


  • My ex in laws where very intrusive with my first baby and couldn’t have cared less for the second, I just wish they had been somewhere in the middle


  • The only person who should decide whether you know the sex of your baby is you. Just don’t tell the MIL but make sure you decide the name of your child without the MIL’s interference. Sounds like you have a very pushy and controlling MIL to contend with. All the best


  • This would drive me insane. I would certainly be cutting back any time spent with that MIL. If she’s like this during pregnancy what is she going to be like once bub arrives. We live in a different state to my in-laws so really had no interference


  • YES… I have controlling in-laws with no boundaries who have ruined every major event in our lives. We’re now disconnected totally from them because it got very real involving protection of criminal sons etc. I persisted for so long trying to please them, only to finally realise they can’t be pleased. It’s their way or no way and all about them, and not the children. So this Mum should do what she and her husband wants to do… not be led by others. They will form their own new family and should not be swayed by others.


  • I must say I’d be pushing to spend a lot less time with this MIL and good on them for finding out anyway.


  • Yes my MIL was very controlling and difficult. However, she died when my baby was 9 months old and my baby never got to meet her. I feel sad that my kids will grow up not knowing her, despite her attitude


  • I cannot believe that your mother-in-law thinks she has the right to tell you what to do about your pregnancy. My daughter found out about all of hers – unfortunately she had five boys in a row but she kept going and got two girls!!! I was disappointed for her after the third boy, I don’t think I would want to know but it didn’t seem to worry her at the time.


  • I truly feel sorry for her. No overbearing in-laws or parents in o my pregnacies.


  • The poor woman! She has enough to deal with during pregnancy let alone being told what not to do with information that she and her husband should decide what to share. Yes I’ve had similar experience and stood up to her and let’s say that the relationship became fractured.


  • we Had the opposite, we didn’t find out we wanted a surprise, we had everyone trying to convince us to find out, but through 37 weeks of pregnancy and having ultrasounds every 2 weeks we never found out until our boy was here (and I guessed right) now we just have people trying to convince us to put him on formula and stuff which is frustrating as hell.


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