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Surrogate mother gave birth to a baby boy last week but the child spent four days in limbo because his biological parents refused to claim him, the ABC reports.

Alexa agreed to carry a child for the unnamed couple – who she is related to – after watching them struggle to conceive for several years.

Speaking exclusively to 7.30, Alexa (whose last name cannot be used for legal reasons) explained how she felt used after her relationship with the intended parents of the child she carried broke down during the pregnancy.

“It started out for love … with me wanting to do something for them,” Alexa said.

“And then without support, without any gratitude or any thanks, it just got worse.”

But just weeks after Alexa conceived, she and the couple began arguing, at first over Alexa’s decision to reduce her dosage of prescribed progesterone because it was making her nauseous.

Alexa claims the biological mother became very anxious about her decision to lower her medication dosage and called often telling her she was going to have a miscarriage.

When a 12-week scan revealed the baby was healthy, the biological parents became even more distant and argumentative, according to Alexa. The mother reportedly told Alexa she wasn’t buying any baby supplies because she was sure the baby would be stillborn.

By the time Alexa was 16 weeks pregnant, the relationship had deteriorated to the point that she sought an abortion, only to be told it was too late.

When the baby was eventually born last week, Alexa claims the parents owed her $8300 in travel fees, medical costs and legal expenses, but they refused to pay, and refused to claim their child, leaving him homeless.

After a four-day stand-off, the parents paid their debt and took custody of the child.

The resolution to a ugly situation has provided little comfort to those involved, or those in the wider surrogacy community.

“It highlights that there needs to be federally-based legislation to help bring a regulatory framework across Australia,” Robert Reith, president of Surrogacy Australia, said.

“Surrogacy agreements (signed before embarking on a surrogacy arrangement) aren’t legally binding.

“There is no framework or legislation that can mediate between two parties. Both surrogate and intended parents aren’t protected.

“The surrogate is still officially the birth mother, the name that goes on the certificate.

“That is both a risk to them and the intended parents.”

Alexa said she embarked on the surrogacy with the best of intentions, and it only became about the money when the relationship completely broke down.

She still keenly feels a lack of acknowledgment and appreciation.

“It’s just sad,” she said. “He will never know where he came from, the baby will never know that I did it for him.”

Such a terrible situation!

Share your comments below.

Image via ABC news.

  • Very sad situation indeed, just terrible.

    Reply

  • Debt and baby should never be in the same sentence so sad that poor baby

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  • I could imagine that the non surrogate mother would have insecurities and stress worrying about her unborn baby that another woman is carrying for her. When the surrogate mother chose to lower medication doses the other mother “thought she knew better” and was anxious something would go wrong. We all do things/pregnancy differently and there is no right or wrong way. I guess she was trying to be controlling in a situation that she has absolutely no control over. No excuse though, I feel for the poor surrogate mum that was doing such a selfless thing and made feel like it was the worst decision of her life…I feel for her so badly :(

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  • I didn’t realise a surrogacy agreement isn’t legally binding… what’s the point then? Also, I didn’t know that the surrogate, even if her own DNA wasn’t used, has her name on the birth certificate as the mother. So complicated!

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  • The song “The times they are a-changin”..yes this title is so true.
    Times are changing and we need to keep up with the present and be proactive in the future.
    Laws need to be put into place, we just can’t bury our heads in the sand and muddle on through life.
    ALL THE VERY BEST WISHED FOR ALEXIA and the parents and special blessings and wishes for BUB.

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  • The surrogate Mum would have been able to claim any medical expenses via private health cover unless the insurance was started at least a certain length of time before the birth of the baby. There would have been expenses for medication too. Had the wife had the baby the couple would have incurred those costs.

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  • Wow, when I first read the headline I assumed the surrogate mother didn’t want to give up the baby. Never, have I heard the reverse situation. This is why surrogacy is such a tricky situation and should be handled carefully, legally, with regulations, etc. Here is a woman who wanted to selflessly help out a couple with a baby, and they’ve turned on her. I don’t understand. This is such a sad situation where the surrogate is now left with grief, I imagine, that things didn’t turn out the way she had hoped. And for the new family, I hope they come to terms with what they’ve done.

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  • I watched the segment about this on the 7.30 report.
    I think from the one sided view we were given that the Bio Mum completely lost her mind over the fact that another woman was carrying the baby that she wished she was carrying. I think she needed a lot of emotional help that she just wasnt getting and in turn she became mean and nasty and irrational towards the woman that was carrying the baby. The woman carrying the baby had Her feelings badly hurt over things that the bio mum said to her, etc

    Its all very sad and there should have been more emotional support.

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  • This and many cases highlight the need for federal legislation regulating the surrogacy issue. It’s very sad that at the end of it it came down to money.

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  • A terrible and sad situation indeed ! How damaging people can respond to eachother. And that over the life of a child…what a way to begin your life !

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  • Oh my god! I really hope there is more to this story then this surrogate is admitting. It’s really sad to think the couple had wanted a child for do long and then carry on like this. I am disgusted to think the surrogate even considered an abortion. That’s a bit low, a vile way to get back at the parents, the baby is the innocent. Hopefully this child is raised in a loving home with devoted parents

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  • That’s terrible. I think surrogacy is a very difficult thing. I couldn’t do it

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  • I do agree there needs to be a legal acency who deals with the process of surrogacy. Very lucky the couple taken the baby otherwise the baby might have been taken into foster care. You never know the baby might find out when older how he got here and will find out who gave birth to him.

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  • Shocking story – regulations just have to be in place for this.

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  • Wow that is shocking. I cannot believe they thought fighting during the pregnancy would be ok. It took away from what is a blessing for them. I just hope they treat the baby with all the love he deserves. There definitely needs to be federal laws to protect all parties involved in surrogacy

    Reply

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