Becoming a new mum for the very first time is certainly a once-in-a-lifetime experience and a feeling that you’re never going to forget.
It’s exhilarating, it’s very emotional, but it’s also kind of terrifying. Now that your maternal instinct is stronger than ever before, you feel the deep innate need to protect, nurture, and love this little bundle of joy with everything you’ve got – yet sometimes none of it seems enough. Don’t worry, this is completely normal, after all, you’re stressed and running on virtually no sleep and absolutely no coffee, so things can seem like they’re getting a bit hectic.
Then again, all of these challenges are making you a stronger human being, and shaping you to be one amazing new mum – but that doesn’t mean that you should do everything on your own or that you should reach your breaking point in the process. Instead, let’s take a look at the best tips that will help you overcome some of the biggest obstacles as a new mum.
Optimising your schedules
Now that your world has turned upside down, you can’t hope to keep any part of your past routine. After all, your child is the most important part of your life right now, so you have to adjust and optimize your routine to fit their needs. This goes for you, and your spouse. If you’re not the one to abandon your career and become a stay-at-home mom, then you will definitely have to take as much paid time off as you can.
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One the other hand, if you have a working spouse, make sure that they understand that your child comes first and that they should optimise their own schedules as well. No more “just a couple of drinks after work with the boys”, oh, and the gym will have to take a break as well. From now on, it’s straight home after work to help out with the household chores.
Divvy up the responsibilities
Speaking of household chores, it’s important that you and your spouse divvy up the responsibilities equally if you are to function as a unit, and if you are both to preserve your long-term health in the process. Your spouse needs to understand that, just because you’re the mommy, you can’t be expected to run on 10 minutes of sleep every night. No, they will assume some of the responsibility, and get up in the middle of the night to soothe the cranky little human while you stay in bed.
However, this is where misunderstandings tend to happen. Be sure to prevent the buildup of any negativity in your home and your relationship by noting down every single responsibility you can think of, and divide them among the two of you equally. If you can bring someone in to help from time to time, great, just make sure to avoid becoming your mum’s puppet or letting someone stick their nose into your lives too much.
Know that you’re not alone
The beautiful thing about becoming a new mum in this digital day and age is that you have the opportunity to connect with mothers from your area or around the world, and overcome these new challenges with the guidance and emotional support from women who truly understand what you’re going through. All you have to do is to open yourself up to connecting with other people.
During those short breaks in the day when your kid is sleeping, you’ll want to search for the places where moms meet online to exchange experiences and ideas, share advice and words of encouragement and support, and just be there for each other. Don’t be afraid to start chatting with moms in your area, ask every question that comes to mind, and even organize a meetup when taking your kid out for a stroll.
Make it a priority to reconnect
While you’re connecting with other moms and making new friends (it’s imperative to preserve your social life) you shouldn’t forget about the importance of maintaining a healthy and romantic relationship with your partner. This is that critical moment in your life when everything is fragile, when the sheer stress of your new routine can build a wall between you, and even make you drift apart without you realizing before it’s too late.
Don’t let this happen. Instead, be mindful of how your spouse is feeling as much as they should be mindful of your emotional state, and make it one of your priorities to do the little things together like cuddling, making coffee in the morning, and hugging each other as soon as they come back from work.
Prioritise your mental and physical health
Finally, always strive to find time for yourself. Yes, it can seem like an impossible task, but with the help of your loving partner, it’s doable. You don’t need a lot of free time to do something that’s healthy for you, either, as you can simply devote those rare 15 minutes of silence to meditate or take a power nap. Meditation is especially important for your psychological and emotional well-being, and it can even help you recharge your batteries so that you can push through the rest of your day with positivity and zeal.
Even in this tech-driven day and age, being a new mum is a difficult and stressful task, but needless to say that all of your hard work and all of those sleepless nights are worth it when you see your little angel smiling back at you. Be sure to use these tips to make these first few months and even years as rewarding as possible.
What are your top tips that you would give a new mum? Tell us in the comments below.