Last week I’d been feeling insecure, self-doubts, and old fears coming up that I thought I had already dealt with, and last night culminated in a slight panic attack. I wasn’t supposed to feel this way! I’ve just made a huge life dream come true, shouldn’t I be nothing but ecstatic, proud, and on cloud nine? Apparently not.
This is my conclusion: Feeling our own personal power also makes us feel our own deepest fears. They are like Siamese twins, attached at the hips, always reminding us of one or the other.
Maybe that’s why many people are afraid of feeling their power: it brings up all the places we are fearful, of risks, of potential loss, and of the seemingly insurmountable “am I good enough for this?”
This is not the first time I’ve felt this “powerful/insecure” paradox, and I’m sure there will be many more instances of it to come. So I decided to welcome it into my life and to meet it in a gentle and loving way that’ll bring me back to my powerful place.
Here are 3 ways to empower yourself & this is what I did…
1. Journal in what I want to feel
I turned to my trusted journal and let all my feelings out. Then I started to write out “this is how I want to feel” and made a list of the feelings I wanted to shift to. Instantly I started to feel lighter and could see a light at the end of the tunnel. I knew right then that life was asking me to re-commit to the self-power that I knew I had.
2. Work it out
I also knew I had to get back to my morning workouts, big time! I had slacked this week and was feeling lethargic, whiny, and self-loathing. I realized that moving, sweating, and spending time connecting to the power of my body must become my #1 practice. This is my grounding space, this is my starting point of my body-mind-spirit powerhouse, so I made a new commitment to my morning workouts. 5:30AM and some serious running later, I felt 500 times better!!
3. Affirmations everywhere
It was also time I made new affirmation reminders. I’ve recently re-organized my place and had taken down many of the affirmations I had posted around my apartment and was long overdue for new ones. I started with a new note on my iPhone while waiting for the bus to work and jot down some basics: “I am amazing. I am awesome. I am so worthy. I am valuable. I am lovable. I am phenomenal. I am unstoppable. I am influential. I am impactful. I am inspirational”. That’s a great start
I truly believe that we get what we want in life through practice. When you ask for peace, life will send you a storm in which to practice peace. When we ask for self-power, life sends us self-doubt in order to practice reclaiming and becoming that power.
As we start a new month, I’m grateful to start it with a renewed dedication to choosing power, even, and especially when that power seems far away. Our self-power is never too far out of reach, it’s just on the other side of our self-doubt. These words by Marianne Williamson make you think about just what frightens you, when I read it I realized she was right. It was my success not my failure that made me falter, so bring it on baby I’m ready for success.
Our Greatest Fear
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
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