Although most of us have doing our Wills on our ‘list of things to do’ which never gets done, those who do make their Wills to protect their children and loved ones quite often make some mistakes.

The common mistakes that are made by parents appointing guardians for their children are:

1) Thinking that family members are the only appropriate guardians.

We often mistakenly believe that our children would be too much of a burden for our closest friends to raise, if something should happen to us.

We think that family is the better option, because family is family, and they are really obliged to do so because of blood. But these beliefs are false.

You need to make the decision about appointing the guardians of your children based on your parenting values.

If your friends are more closely aligned to how your want your children raised than your siblings, then your friends are a better choice.

Speak to your friends about it. Often they would be honoured, and might even reciprocate and appoint you are the guardians for their children.

It will bring your friendship closer, because of the level of trust you have created, and you will talk more deeply about your values than you might have otherwise. Your friends will also have more of an interest to get to know your children really well, if you have appointed them as guardians.

2) Naming a couple to serve as guardians without considering what would happen if one of them dies.

For example, I would name my best friend and her husband as the guardians for my children. But if something happened to my best friend, I wouldn’t want her husband to raise my children alone. Not that I don’t really value him, it’s just that when I choose my best friend it is also because of the supportive marriage that she is in and I value them as a couple. I don’t think that my best friend’s husband would be great on his own. Likewise, if my best friend and her husband divorced, I don’t think my best friend would be great on her own either. You need to think of these contingencies.

If you appoint a couple, think about whether you’re happy for them to continue being the guardians for your children if they divorce, or if one dies.

This might disqualify them, so you need a backup.

3) Only naming one possible guardian.

This mistake follows on from the last one. If your primary guardian is no longer suitable, and they may become unsuitable for a number of reasons, you need to nominate who would be the alternative guardian.

You don’t want to leave it up to your primary guardian to appoint a back up guardian for you!

You also don’t want your primary guardian failing in the role and giving your children up to be cared for someone else – you wouldn’t have a say. So, make sure you nominate an alternative guardian (or couple) after your primary choice.

4) Basing the decision on financial resources.

Who you appoint as guardian should not be based on money.

This is a reason that we often avoid appointing our friends, because we think it will be too much of a financial burden. But, there are ways that you can arrange that your guardians won’t be out of pocket raising your children.

You should think about additional life insurance, and making that available to the guardians.

But also, your children’s inheritance can be utilised for their education and maintenance even before they are old enough to inherit.

To make sure this works, the selection of your executor is just as important as your selection of a guardian. You don’t want them to be the same person, or to act alone, or there could be a risk of abuse of the access to your children’s inheritance.

But you also want someone who will be financially responsible if you appoint them as executor, and you will want them to understand what you would approve money to be spent on and what you wouldn’t (for example, you might not want your executor approving your children’s inheritance to be spent on an annual holiday on the Gold Coast).

5) Naming guardians only for the long term, and not thinking short term as well.

When we appoint guardians in our Will, we often think about them raising our children in the long term.

However, if the guardians you appoint don’t just live down the road from you, or they need to make accommodation arrangements if they are going to care for your children, you may want to appoint someone as a temporary guardian.

A temporary guardian can be like a first responder. They need to live close by, and they need to have the contact details of your family and long-term guardians. They may only need to take your children for a night or two, in the case of an emergency, but the main thing is that they know what to do and who to call.

6) Not using a trust to handle the children’s inheritance.

This follows on from the fourth point, about making sure there’s enough money for your guardians.

Your children’s inheritance will automatically be in a minor’s trust until they are eighteen, unless your specify an older age. But you can also set up a more detailed testamentary discretionary trust, instead of just a minor’s trust.

When you get advice about preparing your Will, make sure you ask about the advantages and disadvantages of a discretionary testamentary trust in your Will, to protect your children’s inheritance.

There’s plenty of useful information on my website about this too, so you can do your research first.

7) Not notifying people who are named as guardians, or providing them with proper instructions.

Quite often people appoint executors and guardians in their Will, and then don’t tell them. Or they tell them, but they don’t leave them any instructions.

The whole point of doing detailed Family Wealth Legacy Planning is to ensure that things go as smoothly as possible.

You want to leave behind as much detail as you can, and guidance, so that the guardians for your children aren’t guessing about your intentions.

A lot of solicitors don’t guide their clients through leaving detailed instructions when people prepare their Wills, but I do. Make sure you find a solicitor that can help you with this, or make sure you undertake this yourself.

8) Not excluding anyone you know you don’t want to serve as a guardian. 

This is particularly important for single parents who have formal Parenting Orders. If you appoint a guardian, they will step into your shoes in terms of parenting responsibility, so that your ex-spouse is not left as the primary guardian for your children.

Excluding someone as potential guardian could also be the way to excluding that toxic sister-in-law or other family member that you know could just cause trouble. Or someone who you know has good intentions, but whom you know just doesn’t have the same parenting values as you do.

You want the best for your children, so take responsibility and the opportunity to make sure it happens, instead of just leaving it up to hope.

Seek appropriate legal advice to ensure you don’t make these mistakes when you prepare your Will.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.
  • I agree that these things need to be discussed with those you wish to care for your child and they also need to understand what they would be taking on and show a willingness to do so. It must be put in writing with backup plans in place also.
    My cousin was married with two young boys and her husband passed young with blood cancer. 2 years later she had a major asthma attack and died also. Sadly she had nothing in place for the boys and a major battle ensued. They ended up leaving our family and having to go and live with their fathers brother and his wife who they had only met once in their lives. They are adults now but their childhood was not happy.


  • My husband and I have been talking about who would be our baby’s guardian so these are timely tips.


  • Thanks for the advice I didn’t think of a back up or stipulating what would happen if only one named guardian was available.


  • Never had to choose guardians for or kids, thank god. We were asked by 2 of my sister in laws if we would look after their kids if something happened to them. They both had really naughty sons, so I’m glad we didn’t have to take them on


  • I’m listed on my sister’s will, but never considered the need for a backup, may rethink and make sure…sad to think about but can be a reality.


  • Guardians are very important and the tips and advice given here in this article are very good.


  • Good tips. Personally I don’t have a lot of friends and so I’ve chosen my aunt who is actually 8 years younger than my mum so not too old.


  • Good tips and reminders. We’ve created a document that exists with suggested guardians for our child. However, over time, the suitable guardian can change vs what our son’s personality is and needs our. It’s a huge responsibility to work through and requires a great deal of time and care and effort.


  • Good tips to consider. Problem for us is that all our family members are far away in Europe and Africa. And we’ve no friends we totally closely feel aligned to how your want your children raised. Anyone else out there who feel this way ?


  • My partner and I have touched on this a few times. When we were younger he had wanted his best friends to be guardians but they were irresponsible and I didn’t feel comfortable with that. I would prefer to have family.


  • These are great tips. Hubby and I are both young but having four kids under 6 we really need to get a move on with our wills. We’ve spoken about it constantly abd now I think we should just do it.


  • I have appointed a friend of mine as guardian of my daughter should something happen, mainly because she’s a great mum to two girls and she would raise my daughter in a way that I would want. I have appointed another friend of mine as a back-up. I did not appoint my only sibling because we are quite different and I know my daughter would be miserable if he had to live with him and his family.


  • Maybe not so much with guardian ship, but I know my mother in law was well and truly ripped off by 2, of her kids that she posted as executors of her will. It has been terrible watching them do as they like to benefit themselves. No thoughts of their siblings of their mum


  • Some great points on a very important topic. So much to think about.


  • Oh my gosh! So much to think about. I have no idea who to appoint for each of these things, having no close friends and not particularly wanting to appoint any family members :(


Post a comment
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Add a photo
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your comment and join MoM:

You May Like


Looks like this may be blocked by your browser or content filtering.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating