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Mum of one, Laurel Elis Niedospial, recalls the time a midwife called her a “quitter” because of her choice to have a c-section.

Laurel shares, that she had discussed her options with her doctor and they agreed on performing a c-section.

She explains, “As soon as my doctor left my room, the nurses came over to check my stats and I don’t think the door had finished swinging before one of them started her plea.

She urged me to consider not having a C-section and she said I was quitting. Quitting. She kept repeating that word, over and over. “Don’t be a quitter,” she urged. “You don’t want to do that. That’s not a good way to deliver.” I can still feel her words ringing in my ear, even two years later.

She urged me to not consider having a C-section and she said I was quitting.

“It felt sharp and the tears began to pool in my eyes. It had been a difficult enough day without having to explain to two women who were supposed to help me why I didn’t want a vaginal delivery. The other nurse agreed with her colleague and despite my attempts to explain how large I thought my baby was, she began to tell me about how some relative had a natural birth. ”

“Nothing that they ever said was mean-spirited or with malice in their voice. On the contrary, they were trying to be kind and genuinely believed that they were doing what was best. For that, I don’t blame them. However, it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable to hear your nurse tell you she thought you were a quitter.”

Laurel added, “Had I been more on the fence, or had I been less confident, it could have been a very different outcome. I hope that she learned to not voice personal concerns about medical decisions unless asked for, because all it could take is one family to have to pay the price thanks to cruel and unsolicited opinions.” Read her full story here.

Have you ever had a similar experience?

Share your comments below.

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  • They didnt mean any harm but a better choice of words is definitely needed there. She may as well have told her she was a failure.

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  • No – I always had the other connotation – I was booked in for a C-section because my prior baby was born with a C-section and they said you can’t have a natural birth once you have had a C-section. But my last baby didn’t want to follow procedures and the midwife/nurse said I don’t know what is happening here – your surgeon is an hour away but your baby isn’t. Are you in pain? [Me – No] Nurse Baby wants to be delivered [me – OK] nurse I’ll talk you through [me – OK] Nurse – pant, pant now push. [me Oh OK – oh isn’t he beautiful] The biggest baby I had ever delivered at 8lb 3oz and the easiest delivery as well.

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  • Oh wow I’m appalled. As mums, we mostly all just do what’s best for our children. How awful to be called a quitter

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  • Quitter is such a hard word to say when a new mum is emotionally vulnerable. Shame on the midwife who should be more encouraging.

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  • Wow! It’s one thing to encourage Mum’s to deliver vaginally where appropriate but to use the term ‘quitter’ is just so wrong!


    • You should every use that when it comes to delivering a baby

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  • She should be a little more supportive!

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  • It’s certainly inappropriate and at the most vulnerable time for a woman and child. I had a similar experience in relation to breastfeeding and being undermined/questioned throughout my second pregnancy and whilst in hospital to feed naturally and not artificially! This is with notes stating I had ended up on Iv drip 7 weeks into feeding with first child who had failed to get to birth weigh until a month old!

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  • You can guarantee her ob had already had the discussion with her

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  • What a disappointing thing to say I was surprised it came from the midwife

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  • To voice personal concerns about medical decisions without being asked to do so, doesn’t suit any medical professional.

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  • What a terrible thing to have to hear. The midwife should be ashamed of herself.

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  • Birth is such an emotionally vulnerable time for the mother. If she’s made the decision in conjunction with the doctor, the midwives should have kept their mouths shut. I had a C-section because the cord was wrapped around my son’s neck and across his body under the arm. It was a good call! I was traumatized enough about not being able to give birth the way I had envisioned, I can only imagine what it would have been like had a midwife said the same thing to me!

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  • If there were medical grounds for disagreeing with a medical choice it should be taken up with the Doctor first. No Mother should be questioned on her choices for her and her baby and especially not at such a vulnerable time.

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  • it is very unprofessional behaviour indeed. i don’t know why they just need to voice their own opinions about things

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  • Considering the fact that the midwife most likely witnessed the conversation with the Doctor, the midwife was out of line with her comments.

    Reply

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