I remember this AITA post, and I think YTA. The baby might be waking up several times, but I don’t think he will experience sleep deprivation if he gets up once during the night every second night or so. Help out a little. Also, super rough to kick Mil out without a discussion with his wife. He might be right that all she does is be critical, or she could be making a big impact on the wife. Communication is lacking here.

I don’t think he’s in the wrong, but he needs to be sensitive to how his wife is feeling at the moment as she’s probably got a lot of hormones and full of emotions at the moment.

I hope he had a couple of weeks off to start with. It does sound like a lot that he has to be responsible with too. If he isn’t able to get up during the night, maybe he could take the load off by cooking dinner or cleaning etc.

not an easy task. she needs help

Maybe he could help out on Friday/Saturday nights when home but it seems like he is already doing a lot. MIL doesn’t appear to be helping a lot.

Reasonable but should compromise somewhere and help out a little. Newborns aren’t easy for mummas too

Not being unreasonable at all. If you have to work in moalrning and partner doesn’t, then you don’t get up… it’s just the way it has to be. It’s not safe to work with sleep deprivation. Weekends or nights when you don’t work next day, then you share them equally so both get a break.

I personally think you are playing a part by working and providing for your family, and picking up extra duties around the home when not working. I think this is fair and I wouldn’t expect you to constantly help over night. I think your wife might be being a little unreasonable

I think good on him for sticking up for his wife with his MIL, but those constant night time wake ups are hectic. They need to find a middle ground, like on the weekends he helps with the night time wake ups so the wife gets at least one decent sleep a week

If the partner works and your home with the baby it should be up to the mum to get up for midnight feeds as the partner has to go to work to earn the money for the family

Both parents need to take turns and help-out with the child at night, as technically both are working and is the fair thing to do. No working excuse for just one party. Going out should also only be prioritised as a family event, as otherwise this will create double-standards, distance, resentment and burn-out for the one left-out or remainder of family left-out. Family needs to be prioritised here. Boundaries need to be set with most MIL’s, otherwise it usually becomes a much bigger problem down the track.

I think he is being very reasonable as he does help with her two children from a previous relationship and he is doing more than my ex ever did and he never had a job in an area where people could get hurt due to lack of concentration from tiredness. As hard as it is at present, this time will be over very quickly and things will return to something more normal. Stop stressing so much, both of you.

Having a new baby is a blissful experience but also a difficult situation, especially if one parent is needed to work and the other parent is looking after the baby 24/7. Communication is the key here. Also, let MIL know what is expected of her since she offered to help with taking care of the baby. MIL are sometimes hard to get along with as they have their own styles of looking after a child but you just have to be firm and stand your ground.

This is a really tough situation, but I believe he needs to also think of the accidents that can happen at home should his wife be overtired. Driving to the grocery store, lapse of judgement, accident. Whilst during the week he may not be available as often during the midnight feeds, those Friday and Saturday nights he should put in more effort to help out. Also, kicking the mother in law out was bad. He should have instead approached the situation with communication to ensure the MIL understood what her comments do to his wife, and reduce critiscms. The first few weeks/months it all about teamwork – building each other up, having each others backs, not deciding “I do this and you do that”

Firstly…..MIL needs to leave unless she can keep her opinions to herself.

Secondly…. No…you are not being unreasonable. Your wife is not working and as hard as it is getting up during the night its something you know is going to happen when you have a baby. On Friday and Saturday nights make the effort to get up and help but during the week when you need to go to work she needs to allow you to sleep.