'Am I Wrong For Not Wanting My MIL To Watch Me Give Birth?'

Most mums agree that choosing who’s in the delivery room when giving birth is a very personal decision.

So a husband’s demand that his mother be allowed to watch her grandchild being born has left one expecting mum fuming.

The 34-year-old mum is expecting her second baby in just 12 weeks, and the delivery room demand has caused a huge rift between the couple, with the husband leaving his wife in protest.

“Me and my MIL honestly have a pretty bitter relationship,” the woman, who is six-months-pregnant explained on reddit. “She doesn’t approve of me or my family background. When I was having my first child my husband had asked me if I had considered letting my MIL be in the delivery room. I told him absolutely not and afterwards he never really brought it up. I ended up having my husband and my mother there with me as support.”

‘I told him he was insane’

The couple has recently begun discussing who is going to be in the delivery room during this second birth, and the pregnant woman explained she was happy to keep the same arrangement as last time.

“My husband was clearly not happy about the decision as I could clearly hear him mumbling something under his breath. I asked if he had a problem with the arrangement. He actually spoke and claimed he did. He stated it was massively unfair that I would allow my mother in the delivery room but not his.

“He mentioned that since I got to choose who was in the delivery room last time he should get to choose who’s gets to be inside of the room this time. I told him he was insane if he thought I would let his mother see me in extreme pain. It would be an incredibly uncomfortable situation. He was incredibly upset and left the house. I’ve been trying his friends to see if they have seen him recently but without any luck.”

The woman says she even contacted her mother-in-law who claims she had no idea that her son wanted her in the delivery room. She also mentioned she hadn’t heard from him in a while.

“Im honestly kind of freaking out, both from stress and guilt. I’m worried that my husband isn’t okay but I also can’t help but to feel guilty that I drove him away. I don’t know if I should stay with my current decision anymore?”

What do you think she should do? Let us know in the comments below.

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42 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 14 Sep 2022
    11:16 am
Stick to your guns.
A Man has no right what so ever to demand that anyone be in the room when a Woman is giving birth. The right lies solely with the person giving birth.
So he has walked out…… Im sorry but this Man (word used when I should say sulky male) really is not worthy of you being upset over. Do not feel guilt for his actions. he is acting spoilt and trying to be controlling.

- - mom400215 said
  - 28 Jun 2022
    6:27 pm
There is no way in hell I’d ever let this happen but it all depends on your relationship with your Mil I guess

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 03 Jun 2022
    1:26 pm
There is no way my inlaw will be with me.

- - mom461384 said
  - 13 May 2022
    2:58 pm
It’s your body . Its your birthing experience. You have awho you want. Damn If you didn’t want you husband in the room, I expect he would be upset. Still your choice

- - mom466087 said
  - 11 May 2022
    9:05 pm
Not at all. I wouldn’t let her be there at all. It’s a family thing, a moment for you and hubby.

- - mom101628 said
  - 11 May 2022
    3:29 pm
Unless your husband is extremely useless in this situation, why would you want anyone else there anyway? There are midwives, and doctors and nurses galore to assist you – it sounds almost as though you need to sell tickets to come and see you in pain giving birth.

- - buggeritliz said
  - 10 May 2022
    9:23 pm
I think it is best to have your partner only in there with you as you have enough nurses and the doctor there too. Now we are in Covid times hospitals have strict rules. Text your husband and tell him you only want him there to bond with the child. You need to explain that he is so important to you and the family he has created. Come home soon.

- - Mumoftwo said
  - 10 May 2022
    9:35 am
I personally only had my partner in the room for both my children and I was extremely happy with my decision both my mum and MIL understood my decision. Giving birth isn’t a spectator’s sport

- - MamaM said
  - 10 May 2022
    7:25 am
I don’t understand when birth became a spectator sport? However, all one has to do is tell the midwives who you do and don’t want there and they will sort it out on the day. My hospital actually asked at an appointment if there was anyone I didn’t want to visit/who they’d want me to turn away (tactfully)

- - mom479315 said
  - 09 May 2022
    3:57 am
The husband has absolutely no right to make any demands on the wife. It is her body, therefore her choice entirely. And to just disappear, sounds like he needs to grow up. If my husband tried this I’d tell him not to bother coming home. As if childbirth isn’t hard enough as it is.

- - mom471918 said
  - 08 May 2022
    11:56 am
This guy needs to grow up!

- - HelenP5 said
  - 02 May 2022
    2:19 pm
There is no way I would have my MIL in my delivery room & if my husband tried to insist, I’d tell him he is welcome to wait out in the waiting room with her if he likes

- - romvar said
  - 02 May 2022
    1:21 pm
I think she should stick to her decision. I would be dreadfully uncomfortable if I had my MIL was in the delivery room.

- - rovermum said
  - 02 May 2022
    10:25 am
Her husband’s behaviour is outrageous. If this is a stickler, perhaps it’s just her and her husband in the room. However, based on his behaviour I’d nearly boot him out and just have her Mum.

- - Ellen said
  - 02 May 2022
    10:01 am
The husband can’t decide for his wife who she may or may not want to have in the delivery room, he certainly can’t demand. The fact that he did this (even when he would give in now and apologize) could be very harming for their relationship.