Breastfeeding: A psychologist’s perspective

Many women want to breastfeed their baby. If you’d like to breastfeed your baby then it is important to ask yourself why breastfeeding matters to you.

Is breastfeeding about promoting your child’s physical health? Or bonding through feeding? Or giving cue-based care? Or natural parenting?

If you understand how your choice to breastfeed relates to your wider values as a parent then you can remind yourself of these values whenever breastfeeding is tough. Knowing the values behind your decision to breastfeed can also help you to be flexible in unexpected situations, while still keeping to what you hold most dear.

It is also important to seek help. Talk about your decision to breastfeed with your healthcare provider. Ensure that you know where to go for lactation advice once baby is born. Read everything you can about breastfeeding beforehand. I would advise getting information not just on breastfeeding itself but on your full range of breastfeeding options like:

using a nipple shield,
exclusive expressing (expressing breast milk and feeding it to baby from a bottle),
using a supplementary nursing system (complimentary expressed breast milk or formula is fed to baby from a tube connected to mother’s breast so baby learns to feed from the breast), and
increasing milk supply through frequent feeding or through medication or natural supplements.

If you have a good understanding of all of your options then you can make an informed choice in any unexpected situations that arise. Be prepared to give yourself (and your baby) time and space to learn how to breastfeed. Breastfeeding is a skill and it is an experiential skill – it is something that we do.

Quality information and expert assistance certainly helps in learning how to do something but it also takes time, practice, and patience.

Think of other experiential skills that you have learnt…Perhaps you’ve learnt how to play the piano, or bake a pavlova, or waltz or surf? Were you a bit clumsy at first? Did you have a few big failures before ‘getting it’? You may well have a similar experience learning to breastfeed.

And how did you get there in the end?

Did you seek out information, or find a teacher? Or did you simply persist, experimenting with slightly different techniques until it ‘clicked’? You may need to show a similar gentle persistence with learning to breastfeed.

Finally, remember to enjoy it. Sometimes women expect breastfeeding to be a blissful bonding experience. That may or may not happen for you. Regardless, it is important to make breastfeeding an enjoyable part of a rewarding life as a new mother.

Breastfeeding, especially with a newborn, forces you to slow down as you spend much of your time feeding. Try to enjoy this aspect of feeding. Make feeds enjoyable for you by reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a television show, or feeding in your garden.

Or why not take your baby to a movie or a café and feed baby there, as needed? If you make feeding enjoyable for you then it is more likely that you will persist.

image of “mother” from Shutterstock

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40 Comments

- - pakeko said
  - 07 Oct 2015
    9:01 pm
It can be so different and people always have a opinion on what you should be doing

- - mggarner said
  - 26 Jul 2014
    7:14 pm
Thank you very much for sharing

- - queen bec said
  - 17 Jul 2014
    1:25 pm
I had so much trouble breatfeeding my daughter that my husband made the decision, based on my emotions, to put her onto formula. I felt a failure because it didn’t come naturally to me. However I didn’t give up. When I had my sons, I gave it another try and both successfully fed til they weened themselves at 13 months.

- - cherz said
  - 24 Jun 2014
    11:55 am
Interesting and helpful article, breast feeding certainly is something you have to learn and being relaxed is a must. Not sure if bub has a cry due to wind or what ever other patrons of the movie will be understanding though. lol. Thanks for sharing.

- - christial said
  - 27 May 2014
    6:45 pm
I learnt and adapted as necessary. exclusively expressed for 12 months in the end due to latching issues.

- - catgrrl3 said
  - 22 May 2014
    10:32 pm
as they say breast is always best when you can

- - Happymum said
  - 07 May 2014
    8:08 pm
breastfeeding is a special time for mothers and their newborns

- - meimei said
  - 03 May 2014
    6:05 pm
I enjoyed read this article – thank you

- - scottie said
  - 02 May 2014
    8:46 am
most hospitals also have a feeding consultant so if you are having troubles try to get them involved

- - coppin85 said
  - 14 Apr 2014
    9:21 am
I never knew of the supplementary nursing system – what a great idea!

- - jodieandsam said
  - 12 Apr 2014
    7:52 am
This is great advice. I can’t believe how difficult breastfeeding is for a lot of women; I had many difficulties myself and I know a number of women who switched to formula because it was too hard, not realising that the probably could have worked through it with the appropriate help and that it it’s only easy/natural for a lucky few.
- koa whittingham replied
  
  12 Apr 2014 , 8:15 pm
  Thanks for sharing. Yes, I think sometimes we don’t acknowledge that the early days and weeks can be really tough AND that doesn’t mean it will always be tough.
- - adriennetraynor said
  - 06 Apr 2014
    10:31 am
This was interesting, thank you

- - jaimilayt said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    10:59 pm
Great read! Thank you for sharing

- - Sally-anne said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    1:34 pm
Thanks, I hadn’t stopped to think about breast feeding being an experiential skill… At the moment it’s just something I do everyday. I am currently breast feeding my third child….now it seems easy and I feel completely competent at it. A far cry from when I first started doing it! You often reflect on the professional skills you achieve but not the skills in your personal life!

- - kathryn said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    11:36 am
When I had my daughter I injured my back during delivery. It was pretty much impossible to breast feed with the back injury and so I expressed. Not easy but I felt like I was still giving her a good start.
- koa whittingham replied
  
  12 Apr 2014 , 8:12 pm
  Good for you!
- - alioop said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    11:12 am
Initially I was breastfeeding because my sons father believed it was the only way. However I ended up breastfeeding for two years – besides the health benefit it was precious moments shared between me and my child that nobody else could do for him. But it’s definitely something that shouldn’t be forced upon new mums

- - scottie said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    10:29 am
There is also the option of expressing and I am glad that this was covered in this article as a lot of times it is left out
- koa whittingham replied
  
  12 Apr 2014 , 8:11 pm
  Yes, it is so important that we remember all options instead of being black and white.
- - rachkap said
  - 02 Apr 2014
    12:13 am
Thanks for this insightful article

- - always mum said
  - 01 Apr 2014
    8:09 pm
Breast feeding is always worth trying. It’s not for every-one, but give it a go girls.

- - mouse said
  - 01 Apr 2014
    7:38 pm
I find breast feeding a real challenge for most mums, it doesn’t come easy and can cause a lot of pain