I can see both sides here. Hopefully things have calmed a lot and you are both still working on things together

I can understand the dad.
When you truely want to share the tasks equally they both would have work for an equal x amount of hours and both will have to look after the baby for an equal x amount of hours

We all have to take responsibility of our kids. It’s a shared responsibility. Maybe work less hours or even engage in a nanny once a week if it’s all too much for them.

It’s a job for both parents not just a mums.

It’s a job for both parties but some understanding needs to be taken on her part. Having a new baby for the first time is very hard and it takes quite a long time for some people to fall into a routine that they are all happy and comfortable with

No-one is in the wrong here – but some outside help just may be called for. Expectations seem to be high, but 100 hours working a week plus travel time to and from would be hard to cope with even without a baby. If the mother wants her husband to be a surgeon, then I think she just might have to cut him some slack, so outside help would be the easier option. Otherwise neither partner might achieve what they originally set out to become and the poor little infant might end up being brought up by a single parent – think about all the alternatives before making an ultimatum, please.

Having a baby …new responsibilities…plus stress and normal day things are just sometimes to much to handle. Maybe its a time to ask for help.

I think they need some outside help. It’s hard on both of them. The first 3 months are the hardest slog and they’re obviously both doing it tough. They had a plan, and babies don’t work to a plan so they need to revisit it so it works for everybody.

Is there anyone who can come in and help for a while. Maybe get in a cleaner a couple of times a week? As long as your wife doesn’t need to have a tidy house and dinner on the table that may take a bit of pressure off of her.

Maybe it might be time for some outside help?

I think everyone is just tired and Mum and Dad probably need some time to themselves to remind them of who they actually are and why they’re together. It does us all some good to have that time!

Wow dad has a huge workload, that is something to consider. For me personally, I feel us women always have our goals pushed back while the man is free to reach them.

Best to think about what you want out of life is it all about money? or having a happy family? If your not willing to half your working hours you just may end up alone your partner wants help from you if she doesn’t get it hate and resentment could break the relationship. Talk it out cut the hours or get help from other people.

Not wrong, but exhausted. As is your partner from the sound of it. If you dont have family to help (mine are all overseas and having twins was …horrible!) could you explore the possibility of friends helping one night a week for a few hours. or a home help/nanny/au pair. Perhaps you could investigate how much it would cost to put the baby in childcare one morning or a few afternoons a week. You are both very, very tired people in need of support and help. I hope it gets better for you soon.

Oh dear! Nobody is in the wrong I think the deal may have sounded great when neither of you knew just how draining having a baby can be. Perhaps mum needs help from family and friends if you are too exhausted (understandably)

Ooh, the first 3 months are tough for anyone. Add in other factors eg. bub not sleeping, feeding properly, etc. and it can be hell. Whilst I feel it is all about communicatnoi, I do feel that they have tried this and it has not worked. They did have an agreement, but babies don’t understand agreements. I think they need some help, in whatever form that might be, eg. family, external help, etc. so that they can both have some me time as well as alone couple time.

Neither is wrong but if he’s working long hours and she’s not working then I feel for the time being she shouldn’t be asking him to do more. Why not see about getting some help to take the load off of her for a while. Won’t their parents babysit for a while?

I don’t think either party is in the wrong but I do think they need to look at getting someone in to help give them both a break. Ideally it might be nice if the two parents can go and have a coffee or something at a cafe, just the two of them so they can reconnect together as well.

If Dad is working 100 hours a week then I think Mum should have help from someone else, perhaps a friend, parent, sibling. Mum can’t do it all herself and Dad is too exhausted when he comes home to be an effective parent. No-one is a winner here

Having been in the opposite position (as the working doctor mother, with a stay-at-home husband) I absolutely took the baby the moment I walked in the door every day. And got up overnight to the baby. Looking after a baby is 24/7; why should one parent get no down time at all just because the other works crazy hours? That’s a recipe for resentment and relationship breakdown. Being a doctor is not harder than being a parent- they’re both hard, in different ways.