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A father of twins says he won’t deny that he has a favourite child – and it’s caused a rift with one of his daughters.

The 53-year-old dad of 17-year-old twin girls, Angie and Julie, says while he adores and is proud of both of his daughters, there’s no denying that he has a stronger bond with one. He says the other twin is closer to her mum.

“Growing up Angie shared a lot more interests with my wife, she loved preforming in pageants, cheerleading, the whole nine yards. While Julie shared my enthusiasm for the outdoors, camping and wildlife photography. It wasn’t intentional but over time my wife started spending more time with Angie while I spent more time with Julie.

“We tried taking the girls to more places together but it’ll always end in an argument because they didn’t have any shared interests and Julie hated going shopping or seeing her sister preform in pageants while Angie despised the outdoors and always refused to go camping with Julie and I,” he explained on reddit.

Recently while bird watching, Julie broke the expensive camera she’d received from her parents for her birthday. Her dad says she was distraught, knowing that her parents couldn’t afford to replace the camera.

“I knew how much that camera meant to Julie who wants to work in photography after graduation so I decided to take more overtime shifts and sell some of my personal belongings so I can afford to buy her a new one. It took me a while but I ended up surprising her with a really nice camera and she was overjoyed, I told her she can repay me by making me an album with all the photos she takes throughout the year.”

‘She exploded and accused me of favouritism’

But the replacement camera did not go down with Julie’s twin Angie, who confronted her father.

“Angie approached me the next day saying she needs a new dress for her upcoming pageant, this confused me a bit because she usually discusses things like that with my wife. I asked how much she needs and she says the dress wants is $4,050.

“I told her I’m sorry but I can’t effort to get her that dress right now and she might want to ask her mother. Angie said mum already told her no and she knows I could afford it because I bought Julie the camera. I tried explaining that a camera and a dress are different but she argued that I could just work more overtime and sell more of my stuff like I did for Julie. When I refused and told her to either find a cheaper dress or rent one she exploded and accused me of favouritism. Although my decision had nothing to do with favouritism I didn’t bother denying it.

“She is now going to relatives complaining how I favourite Julie over her. From my point of view she can’t really complain because my wife favours her over Julie. Besides most of our money already goes towards her pageants and dance competitions so she can’t say I don’t get her stuff.

“Some of my relatives are calling me a jerk for not denying the favouritism but I don’t see the point. Angie obviously favours her mum over me and even told me so a couple of times but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me. So why is it treated differently the other way around? I could really use some insight, am I missing something?”

What do you think of this situation? Is it ok to favour one child over another? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • It’s awful knowing you aren’t the favorite, and can never live up to your siblings. I would never be able to have a favorite

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  • I dont think it’s okay to treat your children differently

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  • I only have one child and find it hard to understand how a parent can favour one over the other. If that did happen I think it would be prudent to keep it to oneself.

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  • I dont think having shared or different interests means you have a favourite child. I have things in common as well as differences with both my kids, I do not have a favourite

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  • I was in a bit of the same situation I went with one child to Gymnastics and Dad went to footy with the other. The second child who went to Gymnastcis started to tell me dad was not there for them and that why was dad never there when they had a fall or got hurt but was always there for the other child. This child is now an adult and still believes dad preferred the older child than them and to this day it still happens where the two are differentiated and it is noticed both by the child and others.

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  • Seeing first-hand the emotional/mental torment, not only as children but the deep seeded issues that follow them well into adulthood, I believe no parent should ever openly admitting to having a favourite child.

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  • shhhhhh i may have a favourite yet i love them both equally

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  • Jeez.. I think Julie would be my favourite too

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  • I have no doubt that most families have a favourite. I know I was the favourite of my parents for a while.
    But these things change. I think we go through cycles and each child gets a turn at being the favourite for a time!

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  • It’s not unnatural to be closer to one child than another, but the problem arises when you talk about it as “favorites”.

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  • I can see points to both sides here.
    First I do think it was unfair that he bought another camera for her but then what Angie does can be very costly in the long run so I can see his point there.
    Some families are like this, where 1 child is closer to 1 parent and the other child closer to the other parent. But I don’t like playing favourites

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  • I think you should have told her that you don’t favour one over the other but you do have more in common with your other daughter. Explain to her that she will need to pay you back if you can get the dress as your other daughter has to pay you back for the camera. My late husband and I both had a favourite where our sons were concerned but, to this day, they never knew.

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  • I don’t think I could ever do this

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  • Honestly it sucks I grew up with 2 older brothers and my father favouring my younger brother over me and my older brother and to this day it still affects me especially with how I parent my 2 kids. It’s a horrible feeling knowing your not equal to your sibling. My father has even blatantly said it out loud, I have heaps of things my dad and I share that we love but my father is a horrible narcissistic person so no matter what his favouritism is from the fact I have health conditions so I’m not perfect and my eldest brother has made a lot of mistakes in his life due to drug addiction and failures which where caused by my dads behaviour toward him and the trauma he has endured so my story is definitely not the same as this one!!
    I know you may not feel you have anything in common with your other daughter but you might be surprised that you do, it might not be with the things your wife does with her or the things you do with your other daughter but I’m sure if you dig deep enough you’d discover things you both love doing together. I’m my honest opinion if your child acknowledges that you favour your other daughter over her and doesn’t feel equal to her sister it may cause her problems in the future. Maybe try to sit down with her and find common ground and something you both love doing together. The worst you can do is give up! Keep trying with her and showing your love and interest in her.

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  • A jerk for not denying it for sure ! I don’t believe it’s fair to say favourite, you just have way more in common and have spent a lot more time with one twin than the other . I’m a twin myself and had way more in common with my dad than my twin sister , I was the sporty outdoorsy type whilst my twin liked watching tv and shopping with mum , it may have seemed I was dads favourite but he loved us equally and if my twin demanded a $4000 dress dad would have laughed in her face , that is a very expensive dress , she sounds a little bit self entitled brat . The mum said no so she goes to dad and dad says no and she has a tantrum

    Reply

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