Brad Kearns, 27, has penned a scathing post on Facebook after a man passed judgement on his wife for being ‘just’ a stay at home parent.

Brad shares on his page DaDMuM, “We went to a wedding the other week. We were on a table which was half half. Half us and half them. It wasn’t too bad and we all got along. They started that awkward conversation which we all have when we meet new adults.

“So what do you do with yourself?”

I don’t know why this fucking conversation happens. It’s almost like a passive game of ‘who’s the richest’ or ‘guess my lifestyle’.

So we got me out of the way and explained what I do without them batting an eyelid. And then he looks at Sarah. She is very intelligent and has been an Emergency Services Worker for over 7 years now. He says:

“oh so you just stay home and look after the kids?”

I don’t know how this has become a generalisation but it fucking stinks. I am really fucking proud of her and everything she’s achieved which was more accolades and awards for service than what this bloke ever will. Yet he somehow managed to judge before he asked. I love that she wants to take this time to raise our beautiful children. She will never get this time again.

If given the opportunity I would quit work tomorrow and raise my boys and be the best parent I could be. There’s nothing fucking wrong with being a stay at home parent. Temporary or career parent who cares.

Don’t judge, don’t assume, don’t anything. Just mind your own business and let people live their life how they want to.

I am also very proud of Sarah’s response. She kept her cool (much to my fucking amazement as I was about to get the popcorn out).”

Well said, Brad. Thank you!

Follow Brad on Facebook @DaDMuM

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  • I have been both throughout my lifetime and going to work is a much easier task than being a SAHM any day. People should either fully mind their own business or not pass judgement.


  • If you say you are a SAHM, some people even have the nerve to then ask, well what do you actually do all day then? Well for starters, I don’t have a cleaner, a nanny or gardener and I cook all meals! I’m chief driver, book keeper, household fixer, need I go on? My theory is, a dollar saved is worth more than a dollar earned.


  • I used to refer to myself as just a mum. Not anymore! It’s a demanding, highly rewarding, non stop 24/7 job with no financial incentive. I’m proud to be a sahm!


  • I think people should mind their own business and as a SAHM I thank him for speaking out against this idiots rambling.


  • Parents have the right to decide whether they will be a stay at home parent or place the child in the care of another person/people so he/she can work. I know of one Mum who places her child in “occasional” care (there is no permanent vacancy) so she learns to interact with other children. No relatives with children live less than a day drive and none of the neighbours have children.


  • I have no idea why people judge. Good on him for standing up for his wife.


  • He is proud of his wife and so he should be!


  • I’m a stay at home mum and love what I do, doesn’t matter what other people think. But sweet this husband is standing up for his wife and values what she does.


  • Whenever I answer this question – I tell people what I do with my time. A job is a job and not what I do! I list the things I enjoy doing with my time, my hobbies and pursuits. We are not defined by our roles. It is far more interesting to discuss what you do with your time rather than list your job, it opens gateways to interesting conversations. Then maybe at the end….by the way I…..for a job. No one ever needs to justify their life choices to a table full of strangers anyway!


  • I don’t understand why people care so much about what others think of them. I’m a SAHM and would not care what anyone else thinks of my choices.


  • This is all fine and dandy but do we really need the five (5) “F” in this story …if I had written this story I am sure moms would have not approved it. Come on mom team where are your proof reading and fool language rules gone.


  • Great to hear a father supporting his wife like this. I agree with him that you never get this time back, so make the most of it! I stayed home with my daughters for 4 years and have a Batchelor degree, I had a full time job before having the children and now that I’m back working- it feels like I never left!


  • My partner could not survive if I wasn’t a stay at home mum, no way he could manage work, school, appointments, cooking, cleaning, taking the kids to sports, shopping ect on top of his job and nor could I work and still manage


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