Mo his reaction wasnt wrong but what is wrong is that he is not sharing how he is feeling and telling his wife about his horrible day. I understand that he feels she is sensitive but its not fair to think you are protecting someone by keeping things like that from them and then get cranky when they dont understand.

I think he needs to just be honest with his wife and explain how he’s feeling. She mightn’t understand but if he opens it up at least they can have a conversation about it.

Men forget that it’s so stressful being at home with a baby. If he needs time to himself maybe have the time on the car before walking in the door

I think thats fair enough on his part just let him come home and have a little rest and then its baby time otherwise its just too overwhelming for some people

It’s a trick situation…I think they just need to sit down and try to communicate better

I can see his point of view. Maybe not 100% the right way to go about it but definitely don’t see him as in the wrong for needing a bit to chill after work

You know your comment to your wife wasn’t right even though in your mind it was justified. I can see both sides, but perhaps take on some of the excellent suggestions given here to debrief before coming home or else how about talking to your wife and having a signal so she knows you have had a really rough day. Something like ‘Nasty today at work’ so she knows you need some time and you don’t have to elaborate any further. Could help in the future as there is sure to be other days that get to you too.

It’s rough because he shouldn’t have responded the way he did, but she also needs to give him a moment when he gets home from work. I’m a stay at home mum of four and yes although it can be exhausting looking after them all day I do get the occasional time to relax here and there. Physically going out and working can be so much more demanding then staying home with your kids. So yes give him a moment before pouncing.

I think so long as it goes both ways and the wife gets her time to herself as well!

I understand. My child used to scream 24/7 and so I couldn’t wait to hand him over. But I also understand the need to enter your home and just have 5 minutes to settle. My hubby and I both tried to manage this and when our son was old enough, we would explain “give Mum or Dad just a few minutes to get settled” before …. It is all about communication and understanding.

The biggest issue I can see here is a lack of communication. While I understand and think its sweet that he tries to protect his wife from his work he can’t then assume she’s a mind reader when he needs space. Maybe they should sit down with each other and come up with a solution so they can both get the support or space they need when they’ve had a particularly rough day. In any relationship communication and compromise are key…

Could have been handled 10 times better

Hope they could talk things out without anyone getting upset. Husband should not assume the worse about wife.

It’s so hard early on when you feel like you’re the one working the hardest, and it’s even harder to find the time or energy to talk about things and understand each other’s point of view. Sure, he didn’t handle it so well but I only truly appreciated what this felt like when I returned to work and my husband had 3 months parental leave and he tried to throw the baby at me and we finally saw each other’s perspective

This could have been handled better. He knew what his wife was going to do and if he wanted a couple minutes, straight home was probably not the best place for him. He could have said I’ll be a bit late home from work and just gone for a walk in a local park or something. Then come home ready to help in a better frame of mind.

They need to communicate and maybe he should have said I just need to have a quick shower or something like that so he could escape for a few minutes and destress from his day.

I don’t think your in the wrong but I do think when thing are calmer you need to speak to your wife
It can be challenging trying to battle your own demons and support those of your wife
We all have things we have to deal with and someone time being burdened with someone’s else’s issues can all be a bit too much
If your truly finding it difficult it might be time to reach out to a professional
As it could be triggered from something deeper

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  • • Amanda Holland replied
    • 07 May 2022 , 9:34 am

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  I 100% agree. Not talking about what you’ve been dealing with at work can bottle up. He needs to debrief with someone before going home, that way he’s had sometime and talked it out with someone

Everyone has those days. It’s hard with a new born and it’s hard adjusting to a ver massive lifestyle change.

I totally understand he needed to clear his mind before being able to reach out, but when he doesn’t communicate what happened his wife couldn’t know. When he doesn’t want to share this with his wife, he could maybe have taken a walk before returning home, or debrief with his colleagues

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 18 Aug 2024 , 3:01 am

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  And both have a stressful and important job

Being a new mum she is still adjusting to her life and the pressures of a new bub and does not understand you and your stressful job, just let her know that when you come home to let you wind down with a cuppa or what you like. Its typical with the pressures of work and life now and maybe she can get some help from her mother or yours if she is over whelmed.