Hello!

A frazzled new mum, running on only minimal sleep without even enough time to shower, has been slammed by her husband’s family for not preparing a ‘proper’ dinner when they unexpectedly dropped in.

After giving birth just four weeks ago, the mum says she’s been exhausted, hasn’t even fixed her hair, is barely able to shower and can’t sleep.

“My husband’s family had been pressuring us to visit to meet the baby,” she explained on reddit. “I tried to hold them off as much as I could but yesterday, I was surprised to find them standing on the porch. Turns out hubby invited them for dinner. I was embarrassed and felt like I wasn’t ready for visitors (judgemental ones at that) ’cause the house was a M.E.S.S y’all.”

The new mum went off in private to feed the baby, while her husband sat with his family. Once she was finished she asked her husband if she should order some take away for dinner.

“He said no because his parents would find this rude and unwelcoming. He suggested that I go inside the kitchen and prepare something, anything long as it’s ‘homemade’. I said fine then went and made some Mac N Cheese. The reason I prepared this meal is because of how easy it is.

“Once I served the family, my husband’s mum looked at me and was appalled. I noticed something was wrong. She asked if I really found it ‘appropriate’ to serve her and the family Mac N Cheese. I asked why not and she went on a rant about how disrespectful this was and that I clearly have no experience in what is right and wrong when it comes to hosting. I said excuse me? Who said I signed up to host an expected visit from them and she took it as in I didn’t want them there.

“Her husband said they were just there to finally see the baby that I kept them from seeing for an entire month. That’s a whole month of his life they ‘missed’ out on. We had an argument and they decided to go home. My husband said that deciding to serve his family Mac N Cheese was more offensive than serving them nothing at all. I told him I was too exhausted to cook their ‘traditional feasts’ that I was forced to learn from his mum.

“He took offence and said that I was being mean and disrespectful towards not only his family but his (Asian) culture. I went inside the bedroom to stay with my son. My husband stayed on the phone with his family for an hour then kept giving me the cold shoulder and refused to eat what I cook in support of his family.

“I understand how some guests might find it offensive especially his family, but I was just trying to make a quick homemade meal like my husband wanted. What’s wrong with Mac N Cheese?”

What do you think of the sticky situation? What advice would you offer? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • Disgusting behaviours by husband and in laws. I think you need to get away. This seems tumultuous

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  • Wow how appalling of the in-laws!

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  • Think this relationship is not going to last very long – no communication, high expectations, and no empathy for the poor mum who is doing her best with a new born. Good luck.

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  • The MIL could have been not such a snob and offered to cook something with the hubby’s help! What was so bad about takeaway anyway??? Not all takeaways is fish and chips these days! The hubby should have told the wife they were coming and for a meal so she could have been prepared a bit better or had the hubby organised to do something. In this day and age why should it be the wife to look after bub AND do the cooking anyway????

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  • It’s sad to read that this has happened. Personally when I visit others who have had a baby I make sure I make them and their family a lunch or dinner because it’s not easy having a newborn and I don’t expect to be served anything including water.

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  • To be honest when they drop in unexpectedly they should be thankful for anything that was offered to them ( even a glass of water).

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  • I wouldn’t have cooked anything. They should have shown up with something for the new parents IMHO.

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  • Sounds like her husband is an A hole! He should have prepared a meal then since he was the one to invite them over without informing the wife.

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  • First off, they dropped around unexpectedly just to see the baby. Second of all if they expected to be fed a fancy meal they should have done the right thing and brought it with them. If her husband doesn’t stand up for her in this situation, I can’t see the relationship lasting long. The new Mum could be suffering with Post Natal Depression for all they know. I hope her husband realises that they were all in the wrong except for his wife. Not sure how he’s going to get out of this problem that he’s caused.

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  • All are at fault except the poor mum and bub. These In -Laws came to see bub not to be wined and dined. Hubby needs to change is ways as this relationship is heading for failure.

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  • That’s very rough of them. I know we don’t know the full extent as to why she held off them seeing the baby for a month but you cannot expect someone whos tired, given birth in the last few weeks to create an elborate meal for you when you dropped by unannounced. It’s sad her husband wasn’t very supportive, if he wanted something better then he could have cooked something for them himself.

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  • I think her husband is acting so unsupportive and disrespectful to his wife, his new family. Imagine if a) he had told his wife they were coming; b) he had cooked dinner for the family himself; or c) the in-laws had been supportive, caring and respectful and offered to bring some meals over to a new mum. This behaviour from everyone (except the new Mum) is so rude, disrespectful, uncaring, lacking in support, empathy and many other things. I feel so sorry for her.

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  • Nothing is wrong with that. If they weren’t so judgemental in the first place they would have been invited sooner. I think it’s rude that their daughter in law was struggling and they didn’t do anything to help. They could have brought home-made food and served her.

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  • This is terrible. New mums need to be supported, not belittled like that. First off, if the husband invited them round without telling the wife- he should be making the meal, or they should be bringing something with them, or happy with takeaway. This actually makes me really angry and upset for the poor woman. Being a new mum can be hard enough without other people ( especially family) making it harder.

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  • That is ridiculous. I love Mac n cheese. And we cook it a lot because it’s easy and quick. Nothing wrong with it.

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