How NOT to be a perfect mum

Do you find those mummy blogs that give you tips on how to be the perfect mum a little irritating?

At the same time, is there part of you (you know, the ‘guilty mum’ part) that thinks – some of what they are saying makes sense and would actually help a lot.

I have some tips, just like the others – but hopefully with a little less of the ‘perfect mum’ pressure and more of the real life, ‘this is hard for us all’ type vibe….

When you feel as though you aren’t being the mother you’d ideally like to be – take 10 minutes to do something that will make your kids (and yourself) laugh. Joke books are always a hit. Dance to loud music on the tiles in your socks.

The trick here is – just do it for 10 minutes.

The problem many of us face, is that we are juggling so much already that when we say “I will sit with the kids for 2 hours and build lego/play barbie”, it adds to our stress. Also, kids notice when we aren’t really present. Trust me, they would rather have a truly happy you for 10 minutes than a cranky or distracted mum for an hour. 10 minutes of fun time also diffuses any anxiety or stress you might be feeling.

Stop worrying about all the other Mums. If that perfectly groomed mum with the perfectly behaved kids makes you feel insecure then stop. Stop that right now!

Yes, I am being blunt but is it really helping you to continue feeling this way? We all have our own challenges. We have no idea what is happening in other peoples lives and we can only live ours.

I know I’d rather have messy hair and have played soccer with my son before work/school than have immaculate hair and no fun.

(PS. if you can have immaculate hair and play soccer, you’ve gained my respect!)

When the kids are making you feel like you want to run away…. do that. Well, not too far. But it’s okay to ensure they are somewhere safe and then hide in your bathroom for 10 minutes while you take some deep breaths.

Be kind to yourself. This mothering business is not always easy. Find the positives and give less focus to the challenges.

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30 Comments

- - Blossom said
  - 20 Oct 2019
    10:20 pm
As children my Mum spent plenty of time with us, sometimes short times other for longer. We were taught right from wrong. She always said she didn’t mind if we misbehaved a bit at home as if necessary she could explain to us (a few times if needed) if we did something she didn’t want us to do. If we did something wrong when we had other people around us Mum would manage to get us to look at her and she would frown at us. She very rarely said anything. Occasionally when we were alone we would ask Mum what is was about. She would say we stopped doing whatever it was. Other Mums yelled at their kids and upset them then told them off for that too. Mum vowed she would never do that and to my memory she never did.

- - mom81879 said
  - 20 Nov 2015
    5:27 pm
Did you really need to share this? I don’t think any mum out there thinks of herself as perfect, or that she should be perfect. No one is perfect, not even mums. We should just aim to be the best version of me we can be

- - smiles said
  - 30 Apr 2015
    11:01 pm
So true we need to focus on the positives

- - mom93821 said
  - 11 Dec 2014
    3:42 pm
Thanks for sharing this article.

- - Mrsjharding said
  - 30 Oct 2014
    11:44 am
Love this article! Thanks for sharing

- - mom73211 said
  - 14 Oct 2014
    8:11 pm
Great article, would prefer to spend time with the kids on the floor doing puzzles then the ironing, but balance is the key. Thanks

- - mom94125 said
  - 08 Oct 2014
    2:50 pm
this is a great read. we should be present and enjoy the kids before they move out
- mom94125 replied
  
  10 Jan 2015 , 11:30 pm
  also 10mins is a tiny amount of time to adults but the kids seem much more happier afterwards, and just get them involved in helping you through the day
- - Happy_Dayz said
  - 17 Aug 2014
    1:36 pm
No such thing as a perfect mum, thanks for the reminder

- - mom57522 said
  - 05 Aug 2014
    11:40 am
Agree that kids know if your fully engage or resenting the time your spending.

- - Georgieheart said
  - 25 Jul 2014
    10:57 pm
So true…thanks for the reminders Gxxx

- - mom71845 said
  - 20 Jul 2014
    7:49 pm
Never going to be the perfect parent. But you can do your best.

- - mom57758 said
  - 15 Jul 2014
    6:50 pm
Love it and so very true enjoy all the great moments we have with our kids before they get to big.

- - claudine said
  - 15 Jul 2014
    4:11 pm
i do the best i can and my kids are happy so that make’s me happy and that is the important thing

- - mggarner said
  - 15 Jul 2014
    12:04 pm
Thank you so very much for sharing!

- - rachkap said
  - 14 Jul 2014
    12:31 am
It’s important to remember no one is perfect but we can all do our best!

- - mggarner said
  - 13 Jul 2014
    9:39 pm
I think I might dance to loud music on my wooden floors in my socks. That is a good idea!

- - mouse said
  - 13 Jul 2014
    10:23 am
a very interesting read, thank you

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 13 Jul 2014
    8:46 am
I love the rawness and reality of this article. Thanks for a great read. There is no such thing as a super mum in my opinion, as everyone is a super mum in their own way.

- - no1ladydj said
  - 13 Jul 2014
    12:21 am
Comparing ourselves to others, whether its other mums, workmates, gorgeous well-known women, friends, you name it … none of it does us any favours. If we’re happy in our own skins, our families are happy and well, that’s all that matters. Few things irk me more than “yummy mummies” trying to make other mums feel inadequate and less successful in their lives, because they don’t measure up to what the “know-it-all super-mum” says we should do.
- sisterhood27 replied
  
  15 Jul 2014 , 3:39 pm
  Totally agree with you
- - kathryn said
  - 12 Jul 2014
    6:39 pm
So true – we need to focus more on the positives.