Do you find those mummy blogs that give you tips on how to be the perfect mum a little irritating?
At the same time, is there part of you (you know, the ‘guilty mum’ part) that thinks – some of what they are saying makes sense and would actually help a lot.
I have some tips, just like the others – but hopefully with a little less of the ‘perfect mum’ pressure and more of the real life, ‘this is hard for us all’ type vibe….
When you feel as though you aren’t being the mother you’d ideally like to be – take 10 minutes to do something that will make your kids (and yourself) laugh. Joke books are always a hit. Dance to loud music on the tiles in your socks.
The trick here is – just do it for 10 minutes.
The problem many of us face, is that we are juggling so much already that when we say “I will sit with the kids for 2 hours and build lego/play barbie”, it adds to our stress. Also, kids notice when we aren’t really present. Trust me, they would rather have a truly happy you for 10 minutes than a cranky or distracted mum for an hour. 10 minutes of fun time also diffuses any anxiety or stress you might be feeling.
Stop worrying about all the other Mums. If that perfectly groomed mum with the perfectly behaved kids makes you feel insecure then stop. Stop that right now!
Yes, I am being blunt but is it really helping you to continue feeling this way? We all have our own challenges. We have no idea what is happening in other peoples lives and we can only live ours.
I know I’d rather have messy hair and have played soccer with my son before work/school than have immaculate hair and no fun.
(PS. if you can have immaculate hair and play soccer, you’ve gained my respect!)
When the kids are making you feel like you want to run away…. do that. Well, not too far. But it’s okay to ensure they are somewhere safe and then hide in your bathroom for 10 minutes while you take some deep breaths.
Be kind to yourself. This mothering business is not always easy. Find the positives and give less focus to the challenges.