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There’s a long list of things we give up over nine months of pregnancy – everything from sushi to skydiving, and one of the most important is alcohol. But do you expect your partner to give it up as well?

One confused dad-to-be says he doesn’t understand why his wife wanted him to curb his alcohol consumption while she was pregnant, and now that she’s breastfeeding.

“My wife has been giving me a hard time about drinking on occasion lately,” he explained on reddit.

“It started when she was pregnant because a few of her friends’ husbands stopped drinking when they were pregnant/pumping (apparently that is a thing?). She wants me to be ‘going through this with her’.”

“I am just not understanding what the problem is? I used to drink whenever I wanted to, if that meant during the week, weekend, whatever and she used to drink with me at the same time. Then, she told me I can only drink on the weekends, and now she says only on social events (rare with a three-month-old). Am I missing something here?”

The new dad says before his wife became pregnant he would typically drink four beers on a Friday and Saturday.

“If I had a sickness and were unable to walk or something, I don’t think that I would try to restrict her from walking so that she would be ‘going through this with me’. Or if I had a gluten allergy I wouldn’t tell her she couldn’t enjoy a pizza whenever she wanted. Am I the a**hole?”

What do you think? Let us know in the comments below!

 

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  • Mmmm. Alcohol is really just an acceptable drug. I’m all in favour of it’s reduction in society.

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  • They need to work it out together or it will be a problem causing bitterness in years to come.

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  • I think it’s about time these two started communicating better otherwise this marriage won’t be a long lasting one. It looks like she wants to wear the pants for the family so do hope she is ready to go back to work pronto!

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  • DRinking is different to his examples… although I do think it would be unreasonable to ask him to stop drinking altogether. Perhaps the amount he’s drinking means he’s not very helpful with the baby, and that’s her real problem? Four beers is a fair bit.

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  • It’s a bit selfish on her part. I mean it doesn’t say he’s getting smashed. A couple of favourite beverages at least once a week is not a big deal. Yes, she can’t enjoy it too, but it really isn’t that big a deal…

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  • I dont think you need to stop drinking cos your wife is breastfeeding

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  • I would never have asked my husband to stop drinking because I was breastfeeding or pregnant. I only asked him not to drink on the day I was going in to give birth.

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  • I really don’t understand this. My husband is not much of a drinker, but I definitely wouldn’t ask him to stop drinking socially because I was breastfeeding. I need to understand why she thinks he has to.

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  • I think it requires two people to communicate – it isnt fair but there is a way to have understanding

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  • I absolutely love the line “if I couldn’t walk I would restrict her walking so that she was going through it with me!” It’s brilliant and right on point!
    I’ve had four babies and never once asked my husband to give up anything (except his side of the bed as it was closer to the bathroom and allowed me to sleep on my left side without having to roll over in extreme pain) for me! Not even his sleep.
    Unless he is chain-smoking next to you and the baby and doing drugs,you can’t expect the man to give up something just because you have to. With my fourth baby I found it hard to give up sugar and carbs (I had GD), they are my two main food groups. I still gave my husband and children sugar and carbs

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  • It wasn’t something that personally bothered me but I can understand why it could upset other mothers, especially if they previously enjoyed having a few drinks.. Having said that if the mother really wanted to have a couple then maybe they could express some milk and bottle feed etc… if the baby will take a bottle.. :/

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  • Clearly, they need to communicate more. That is the first step that needs addressing. Then take it from there I think.

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  • I didn’t think of this when I was pregnant, it wasn’t something that bothered me.

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  • Seems mum doesn’t like him drinking if she’s not. She met a drinker so gonna be hard to start making rules.

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  • It seems he doesn’t drink much even when he does drink. I think mum to be is being a bit over the top, wanting him to cut back just cos she has friends who’s hubby’s did

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  • Husband should not give up but make sure to chose a good time to have a drink and not to over consume where severely intoxicated or puts to sleep as wife may want a break from the baby or if there is an emergency, need someone to be capable of driving. My fiancè loves to drink and on a few occasions, I was sleep deprived with a new born and had to drive home with his parents bickering in the back seat with my baby inbetween them. I had a mental breakdown which saw my fiancè changed his drinking habits. Communication is very important. Talk about the pros ans cons.

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  • Never even thought about asking that from my husband, it doesn’t sound logic at all

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  • I think it’s crazy, if he wants a drink at the end of a hard week then he should be able to have one. If he was drinking every day/night then I’d say something.

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  • They need to discuss this. maybe cutting back or not drinking around her but otherwise over the top. I wonder if she was a drinker at all. If not it shouldn’t be an issue as it’s usual for her.

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  • It would be nice of him to do that for her. I cut back on coffee, soft cheeses and alcohol.

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